


Safest Haven

by morbid_beauty



Series: Stunning Someone [2]
Category: My Chemical Romance
Genre: Depression, Domestic, Drug Use, Genderfluid Character, Multi, Threesome
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-03
Updated: 2016-10-02
Packaged: 2018-04-02 18:18:33
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 27
Words: 44,005
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4069837
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/morbid_beauty/pseuds/morbid_beauty
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sixteen months into the relationship, Frankie moves in with Gerard. They don’t completely see eye-to-eye about their Future.</p><p>Gerard becomes secretive about something, which causes further tension in their relationship.</p><p>(Or: the one where things get domestic and Gerard and Frankie have to decide whether they can be each other’s safe havens.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Stunning Someone reached 4000 hits! That's so WILD!!! Anyway, I've been putting off writing the sequel and I will be extremely busy in the months to come BUT I wanted to start posting the sequel out of sheer excitement for this milestone. I'm so happy! Just in time for my birthday.
> 
> Hope you enjoy <3

It was summer again and Frankie spent as little time in zir own apartment as possible. Ze lied, spread eagle, on Gerard’s bed, relishing in the way his air conditioning cooled zir skin in delicious layers. Gerard insisted on drawing zir like this; because ze looked cute in those shorts, he said. Ze posed for him, going from model to sexy in two seconds flat, and he eventually threw his sketch book down and jumped onto the bed beside zir.

“I’m gonna miss this place,” Gerard said.

Frankie frowned, turning zir head to stare at him. “You could just say things, you know,” ze said. “You don’t have to be all cryptic all the time.”

Gerard sighed gruffly and sat up in his bed. “I can’t afford it anymore. Dad said he’d cut me off a year into a career.”

“Being a lacky for Cartoon Network producers is hardly a career.”

Gerard shrugged. He frowned at the ceiling. His “lacky” job for the Cartoon Network really seemed like the closest he’d get to his dream job of being a comic book artist. It sucked. He was basically a staple intern and they didn’t care about him and they’d never take him seriously. What was the point of that B.F.A., really? Frankie, with zir tiny movements, startled Gerard as ze climbed into his lap. Ze smiled down at him. Ze played with his tie, which ze had long ago given up on telling him to get rid of; his wardrobe choices would not affect the respect he got from his bosses but it gave him piece of mind, sure. Then ze draped zir arms around his neck.

“Where are you planning on moving?” ze whispered, that naughty whisper that basically told Gerard ze was not at all interested in the topic of conversation.

“Probably back home,” Gerard said. Frankie leaned down and kissed his neck. “My, uh…o-old room is still… Frankie, this is serious.”

“I’m listening.” Which was probably true but the way ze sucked on his neck made Gerard believe otherwise.

“I’m talking about moving back home and you’re- Jesus, fuck…”

Frankie palmed at him through his ridiculous slacks and, with a possessive arm on his shoulders and zir chest against him, started to lay him down. Gerard fell back easily and looked up at Frankie with patient eyes. Ze sat up tall, making sure to press their crotches together. Gerard stroked zir pale thighs and smiled at Frankie’s hands, which curled around the bottom of zir blouse before ze tore it off.

“I have a feeling you won’t be moving back home,” ze said confidently, in that way that only Frankie knew to be confident.

“How are you so sure?” Gerard asked, dropping his voice to match that infectious, sexy whisper Frankie had coined, one of his hands slipping to zir belly. Ze grinned and leaned forward, holding his wrist and guiding him to zir left nipple. Gerard’s fingers gingerly traced the letters of his name that were freshly tattooed on Frankie’s chest.

“I have a better idea for you,” Frankie said. Ze moved zir hips forward and back. Gerard closed his eyes and scraped his nails down, getting a soft moan from Frankie.

“What is your better idea?”

Frankie brought his hand higher. First around zir neck, dangerously; they locked eyes for a moment as Gerard’s eyes went huge—they’d talked about it, sure, but hadn’t agreed on getting too kinky yet—and Frankie smirked. Then ze dragged his hand up. He cupped zir jaw. Ze turned and licked his fingers. He pressed three fingers into zir mouth and stroked zir tongue. Ze sucked in his fingers, staring him down.

“What’s your idea?” Gerard asked again, staring at zir mouth.

Frankie held his hand away, a string of spit attaching zir lips and his fingertips. Gerard made a face. Frankie giggled. Ze leaned back again, dropping his hand, letting him do what he will with it. He wiped it on zir shorts and proceeded to undo them.

“We like your apartment but you can’t afford it,” ze said, sinking down again.

Gerard sucked in a breath. He pressed his thumbs into zir hips. Frankie awkwardly got out of zir shorts, pulling zir legs out one at a time while still straddling him, making Gerard chuckle. But ze wasn’t wearing any underwear and once ze was naked that shut him right up.

“I’m fully dressed,” Gerard stated. “This seems inappropriate.”

Frankie leaned forward and tugged the tie loose, lifted it over his head. Then ze preoccupied zirself with the buttons of his dress shirt, lightly scratching him with zir short nails.

“You were saying?” Gerard asked, helping zir pull his arms out of the shirt.

“I hate my apartment and my lease is up,” ze went on. Ze stretched the tank top out of his slacks. Gerard raised his arms dutifully to get the white top off but once it had been thrown aside with the rest of their clothes, Gerard had this concerned expression on his face that Frankie knew ze couldn’t ignore.

“You can just say stuff, you know,” he quipped, though he didn’t look at all amused. “You don’t have to be all cryptic.”

Frankie looked up at him as ze trailed kisses down his chest. “Mhmm.” Down went his slacks and Gerard gasped when Frankie mouthed at him.

“S-seriously, baby, what are you implying?” Gerard asked once he was naked. Frankie moved back up. Ze had a bright smile on zir face. Ze slid zir hips slowly up and down. Gerard grasped zir thighs and ze held onto his shoulders.

“What if I move in with you?” Frankie asked, breaths a little shallow. “We can…a-afford it together.”

Gerard squeezed zir thighs and pushed zir back a bit. Frankie got up a little, blushing from fear of his response to zir request. He looked at zir with eyes like saucers and Frankie kept thinking that ze should’ve fucked him before asking any silly questions.

“You wanna move in with me?” Gerard asked, his voice soft.

“Just, financially,” Frankie said. “I-it’d work best. For you. And, morally. For me. My shitty scrap of Brooklyn, I’m over it. It’s not cool anymore.”

Gerard stared at zir seriously for a moment, ruminating, quietly in his head, like he did. Frankie wondered if they would have sex at all or if they would fight or if Gerard needed to think about it, for days, sexless days. But, thank every god, he slowly smiled. And ze slowly smiled back.

“Please move in with me,” Gerard said.

“Why, I’d love to!”

They laughed against each other’s lips and rolled around and held each other, hard.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can't believe Stunning Someone got 5000 hits!!! This is so exciting.
> 
> I was planning on submitting this chapter when Stunning Someone hit 5k, but I've been super busy so I'm doing it now! I can't guarantee I can pick up any sort of updating schedule. Things have been super hectic. But here's chapter 2 of the sequel! Enjoy <3

“I can’t believe you’re moving in with this joker.”

Jamia taped a box over in the angriest way a person could. Frankie, a few feet away packing some shoes, just stared at her until the silence overwhelmed her. Jamia couldn’t do silence. Not when she had shit to say.

“Don’t look at me like that,” Jamia said, not even looking up. Frankie chuckled, shook zir head, and kept packing. “It’s way too soon. You know, I read a study that said that couples that don’t wait two years to move in together are less likely to last.”

“Well, that explains why we didn’t make it,” Frankie quipped, labeling the box. Jamia scoffed.

“As if you would’ve survived a month in the city without my ass.”

“Maybe not without your ass but definitely without your apartment.”

“Are you guys flirting?” Gerard said. He’d been packing things around the rest of the apartment with Bob and James and came carrying a couple empty boxes. It wasn’t hard to overhear conversations, considering the door was propped open to facilitate the moving. “Really?”

“How many times have you flirted with Bob?” Jamia asked. Frankie raised zir eyebrows in a mock accusatory manner, pointing a chunk of cloth and rubber that was once a sneaker at Gerard.

“That’s different.” Gerard opened up the boxes and laid them on the floor. “Bob is ugly.”

“I fucking heard that!”

The five of them were helping Frankie pack for the big move. It was an exhausting day-long endeavor. Frankie had a lot of shit and ze didn’t want to throw any of it out. It was fun, mostly; the radio was on to some classic station and the beers were plentiful. Frankie got nervous when Gerard and Jamia joke-fought, though; it was better than them really fighting but the fact that their conversations always veered to some weird tug-of-war with Frankie in the middle was kind of annoying.

By the time the sun started to set, all of Frankie’s things were in the truck or in trash bags by the door. Frankie wouldn’t admit any emotional attachment to things but the way ze snapped when someone asked if something needed throwing out made it clear that the attachments existed. Ze stood in the middle of zir living room and looked around, arms folded and lips pursed.

“All moved out!” James called, returning from the last trip to the truck.

“Now we get to move shit in to somewhere else, yay,” Bob groaned.

“I lived here two years.” Frankie’s voice was soft and didn’t even have a fraction of the emotion that James and Bob’s voices did. Gerard slinked his arms around zir waist. Frankie pressed zir cheek against his. “Feels like a lifetime.”

“Don’t get too nostalgic over this dump,” Gerard said softly and kissed the corner of Frankie’s lips. Frankie smiled a little. “Now we get to share a dump!”

“Can we PLEASE get GOING?” Jamia said from the door.

“It echoes,” Bob whispered, looking around the empty room with big eyes.

Frankie laughed and patted Gerard’s hands before pulling away from their embrace. “Who’s going with me to give the keys to the landlord in the basement?”

Frankie had that soft, sad tone in zir voice, and a weak smile to match. The boys all kind of looked at Jamia, who was holding the door open with her foot. She looked between them and stood up a little straighter.

“Oh, uh, I’ll go,” Jamia said. “This is screaming best friend duties.”

Frankie walked out of the apartment quietly, grabbing Jamia’s hand. They took the elevator to the basement. Gerard, James, and Bob all grabbed garbage bags. Gerard was the last one out. He let the door shut behind him unceremoniously. They went down the stairs.

“So, big step,” James said. “Bet you’re freaking out.”

“I’m actually really excited,” Gerard said. It wasn’t a lie but his comment and James’s were not mutually exclusive. “Do you- do you think Frankie is? I mean, this was zir idea but…”

“Ze loves you more than change scares zir,” Bob said.

They threw the garbage bags into the back of the truck parked out front. Bob leaned against it and lit a cigarette. Gerard was itching for a cigarette and almost reached for it when James offered. But he shook his head instead and let James have it.

“I love zir more than…anything scares me,” Gerard said, blushing a little.

“I don’t love my fiancé more than spiders scare me,” James scoffed.

Bob threw his head back and hit it against the truck. “How am I the single one?”

“Because you suck, Robert.”

While Gerard and James laughed at Bob, Jamia stared at Frankie warily as they waited for the elevator to take them back up to the lobby. Frankie’s arms were folded and ze tapped zir foot over and over. The air in the basement was somehow wet and dry at the same time and everything was gray. And ze knew what Jamia was thinking but ze had humored her all day and there was no way, no way Frankie was gonna—

“I can’t believe everyone is moving on,” Jamia finally said, throwing her arms in the air. “I’m still living in the same apartment, I’m still single, James is getting married, you’re…” Jamia waved her hand in Frankie’s general direction. “Getting domestic.”

“What if I move back in with you instead?” Frankie said, grateful when the elevator doors opened a second later. Jamia grabbed her hand a pulled her back, though, and Frankie fought it a little weakly. Jamia stood perfectly still as Frankie’s sneakers skidded on the dusty ground. “Jamiaaaa.”

“Frankiiieee.”

“You’re right it’s too soon what was I thinking it was an impulse what if we break up what if w—”

Jamia let go of Frankie’s hand and Frankie fell flat on zir ass. Ze looked at the ground as if it, not Jamia, had betrayed her.

“You love Gerard?” Jamia asked.

“Yeah…”

“You think you’ll have a good time living together?”

“Yeah…”

“Shut up, then.”

Frankie pouted a little. Jamia hit the button for the elevator to call it back. When it returned, Frankie offered zir hands. Jamia helped her up then smacked zir butt to get the dust off. They got into the elevator without facing each other.

“You’re washing these pants,” Frankie said.

“Of course,” Jamia said, a smile in her voice.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy new year and happy new chapter! I've got an update on this fic at the end. Enjoy <3

Sometimes, Gerard just kind of shut down. Slowed down. Frankie noticed it but never really paid much mind to it. At a restaurant he’d frown at a menu indecisively and eventually just get what Frankie ordered. When they went on walks and Frankie got in the mood to jog, Gerard told zir to leave him behind. Sometimes they wouldn’t have sex for weeks, or Frankie would initiate and have to take control, or they’d start and Gerard would ask to stop and they did.

None of this ever bothered Frankie. Ze figured Gerard was a little off or annoyed about something he didn’t want to talk about or just had less energy due to his awful diet. When Frankie asked, he only shut down further. So ze let it go. He always bounced back and it didn’t really have much of an effect on things, as long as Frankie adjusted for him.

This morning, their first morning as two working adults that lived together, was one of those moments. And Frankie did not need that right now.

“Baby,” Frankie groaned against the bathroom door. “The bus gets crowded if I don’t take the very next one. Please, come on.”

“Gimme a minute!” Gerard called, mouth full. “You’re worse than Mikey…”

“Doubtful.”

Gerard opened the door a minute later and bared his teeth. “Good enough to kiss.”

“Yeah, well I’m not.”

Frankie smacked his ass as they walked by each other. Ze brushed zir teeth quickly and ran into the living room. Gerard was sat on the couch, one shoe tied, gaze on the wall and distant. Frankie slipped into some Vans and nudged him with the toe of zir shoe.

“You’re gonna be late,” Frankie said.

“I’ll take a cab,” Gerard replied, sounding despondent.

“It’ll take just as long with traffic as the train and cost you 15 extra bucks.” Frankie knelt in front of Gerard, which seemed to startle him, and helped him into his other shoe. Ze tied the laces then held Gerard’s leg and kissed his knee. Gerard smiled a little at the gesture and Frankie smiled back. “I can walk you to the train station if you want,” ze said gently.

“You’re gonna get on a crowded bus.” Gerard’s voice was just as soft.

“Worth it.”

So they walked to the train station together and by the time they got there, Gerard’s spirits were back up. He swooped Frankie into his arms for a long, tender kiss, “to remember me by,” and Frankie went happily into the crowded bus a few blocks away. Everything was always okay.

 

Jamia and Frankie managed to have some overlap in their lunch breaks. Frankie grabbed a slice of pizza from the pie Bob ordered, grabbed a Pepsi from the mini-fridge they’d decided was a good investment for the shop (it was), and plopped down next to Jamia. Ze mimicked her pose—legs folded, sitting up obnoxiously straight—and glanced over Jamia’s shoulder.

“We got a few impressive resumes,” Jamia said thoughtfully. “I’m gonna email, like, five people for interviews next week.”

This was news to Frankie. Ze didn’t like change at the shop; the fridge took some convincing. It was bad enough that James was leaving, but hiring someone new already seemed like an ultimate sin. “Excuse me?” ze said.

Jamia gave zir a sympathetic look. “Do you pay attention to our website at all?”

“Why did we get resumes, Jamia?”

“We need someone to replace James.”

“He’s still here,” Frankie said, pointing with zir pizza toward the hall. Some of the sauce slopped onto the floor and Bob just stared at the red splotch for a moment.

“I’ll get that,” he said. They’d given him a slight raise with the promise that he’d clean more during the actual work day, so the Gents wouldn’t have to.

“But he won’t be for long,” Jamia said to Frankie. “And we can’t be Three Gents with two gents. It isn’t right. Besides, who best to judge who should replace James Dewees than James Dewees?”

“Truer words!” James called from his room.

“At least Mr. Bionic Ears won’t be here much longer,” Bob grumbled, mopping up the spot on the floor.

“Screw you, Bryar!”

“Why are you in such a bad mood, Bob?” Frankie said, before turning right to Jamia without letting him answer. “I don’t like it.”

“Good, so you’ll help us do the interviews?” Jamia said, smiling that goofy smile that Frankie used to love but is just annoyed by now.

Frankie leaned back on the couch, folding zir arms. Another shlop of sauce fell on the floor. “Don’t like it one bit.”

“I swear to god, Frankie…” Bob grumbled, grabbing more paper towels.

“I’m not the one that bought the wettest pizza in New York.” Frankie turned to Jamia again. “Can’t we, like, wait a bit? I just moved in with Gerard, we just bought this fridge. Our favorite pizza place closed and we have to eat this crap, _Jamia_.”

“Remember when you were a struggling artist and James and I were gonna open JAMESIA but we took pity on your sweet ass and let you join our business?” Jamia asked. She took a big bite out of her rolled up pizza, or pizzaritto as she insisted on calling it. Any excuse to put words together. JAMESIA was her idea too.

“That’s not how it happened,” Frankie grumbled, folding zir arms.

“Yeah it is,” Bob said, snatching the slice from Frankie’s lap before it slipped onto the floor. At the same time, James called, “It is, I was there!”

“Don’t you have a client right now, Dewees?” Frankie called back. “Are you really yelling in their ear?”

“It’s my mom! She’s doesn’t mind!” There was a brief pause, followed by, “My mom would like me to inform you that she did not teach me to lie and I’m gonna be quiet now!”

Frankie laughed for all of two seconds before Jamia plopped a manila folder onto zir lap. Frankie frowned at it. “That’s not pizza.”

“I put a star on the ones I’m willing to interview,” she said. She handed Frankie a pen. “You don’t have to do them all now, but we’re all gonna have a vote. Interviews will be in order of most to least stars.”

“What if I exercise my right not to vote?” Frankie mumbled.

“The last time you did that, Bush was reelected.”

Frankie stared at the folder another few seconds. Ze groaned and headed to zir room, waving the folder above zir head like a flag. Jamia leaned back on the couch and smiled.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I'm going to start a very tentative Wednesday schedule for updates! I'm sorry it took so long. Please comment, share, kudos, it's so super encouraging to know you guys wanna read this as much as I wanna write it! <3


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Wednesday update!

Gerard hadn’t eaten yet today. He wasn’t sure when the last time he ate was. He was really in the zone when he had a big project and this was a huge project: the opportunity to present a show idea to a producer at his job. He was surviving on coffee and occasional nap breaks.

Frankie worked on sketches next to him at the dining room table, zir legs propped up on his thighs. They hadn’t spoken for an hour though Gerard rubbed Frankie’s leg every few minutes and Frankie shook zir legs when ze noticed Gerard’s head nodding. It was a comfortable silence, a work-filled afternoon.

Frankie was the one to notice that maybe it shouldn’t have been too comfortable.

“What time is it?” Frankie said suddenly. Ze looked up like a small rodent hearing a troubling sound.

“6:30,” Gerard murmured. He kept replaying the last three seconds of the video, knowing there was something wrong with it but kind of seeing blurry at this point.

“When is our triple date?” Frankie asked.

Gerard didn’t react. Frankie stared at him, eyes narrowed. After a moment, Gerard paused the video and looked at Frankie with the same expression.

“We should get ready maybe,” Frankie said.

“Mikey’s gonna kill me.” Gerard jumped up and ran to the bedroom.

The next half hour was a lot of running, a lot of searching, a lot of pausing somewhere distressed and forgetful, a lot of jokes to cover up the _shit shit shit_ feeling of running super late.

“We should shower together to save time!”

“You know, I have a feeling we’ll get distracted.”

“I mean, if we’re gonna be late anyway…”

“The saying is fashionably late not…not sexually….”

“You don’t even have a fashion sense.”

“Do you really wanna fight right now?”

By 7:15, they were clean and cute and ready for the triple date that had been planned for weeks between them, Pete and Mikey, and James and Debbie. With Gerard and Frankie moving in together, and James getting married, they thought they should all do one cliché couple friends thing. They got actual reservations at a too-fancy bowling alley uptown that Gerard and Frankie were going to be embarrassingly late for.

“So it’s embarrassingly late now?” Gerard asked.

Frankie threw zir head back. “Can you just call a cab?”

They were in a cab five minutes later, at the bowling alley forty minutes after that. James and Mikey were smoking a few feet from the entrance while Pete and Debbie seemed to be exchanging bowling strategies, throwing imaginary bowling balls. Frankie, in a short dress for the last time of the season, waved violently until someone noticed.

“Frankie!” Pete called, running up to zir. “Finally, someone shorter than me.”

Frankie scoffed but gave him a hug anyway. Gerard was swept into Debbie’s arms. Mikey shook his head at his brother, frowning. “Half an hour late. Unsurprisingly.”

Gerard kissed his cheek. “Shut up. Let’s go inside please?”

Pete and Frankie held hands on the way inside. They’d gotten really close after a heated religious discussion one night and had the utmost respect for each other. Gerard didn’t get it, but he was glad for it. The four of them hung out often and comfortably and there was never any awkwardness. Right now, though, Gerard felt a needy, jealous pang in his chest at seeing Frankie hold someone else’s hand. He knew it was silly, which is why he tried to ignore it, but he couldn’t help feeling rejected. Debbie and Mikey teased them about their shoe sizes and Gerard just kind of stared and followed.

“You alright there, dude?” James said, startling Gerard back to his senses with a hard pat on the back. “You look lost.”

“Oh, I’m, uh… Just trying to accept my inevitable defeat.”

“No way, Gerard!” Frankie turned and pointed at zir partner. “I don’t lose!”

“At anything but video games,” Pete murmured. Frankie bumped into him.

The alley was buzzing with chatter, classic rock playing on the speakers the perfect background for the sound of tumbling pins and players’ cheers. The lighting was dim, with neon lights glowing in aisles. They found their place near the end of the alley and put their stuff down on a purple bench before changing into bowling shoes. Frankie sat on the floor in front of Gerard, who sat heavily on the bench where there was space. He bumped into Debbie and they awkwardly laugh at each other.

“So James was a bowling champ in his town,” Frankie said, “which seems unfair. But Debbie has two left feet so I think it balances out.”

“I can’t believe I’m the clumsy one in this relationship,” Debbie complained. “And James does all the cooking? I’m so graceless.”

“Fuck gender roles, be as Bambi-like as you want,” Pete said, immediately receiving a high five from James.

Frankie was the only one to try and get Gerard’s attention, because ze could never get enough of it anyway. Ze kicked his foot before standing up, twirling. The polka dots on zir skirt glowed against the black light. “Ready to kick some ass?”

“My own,” Gerard murmured, smiling a little sheepishly.

“Hey, we are not losers! What did I say?”

They were totally losers. A few rounds in, it was evident James’s champion status was a huge advantage and Gerard got in a worse and worse mood after each of his gutter balls. They had a pitcher of beer and a scoreboard with three teams, the three couples. Frankie was having a blast. They all cheered for each other, happy danced to strikes and spares, made immature jokes about the bowling balls. Gerard sat and smiled, looked around distractedly.

“Okay, that’s it,” James said at one point, following Gerard to the aisle. “I’m gonna help you get a strike if it kills me. Hold the ball like this…”

“Yeah, you hold that ball,” Pete called. Frankie giggled.

“They’re so cute together!” Debbie said.

Gerard blushed as James stood behind him and moved his wrists the right way, his hips. The others cooed but James was super serious. “I’m your coach and I know how much it sucks to be losing bad,” James said. “Just do as I say.”

Gerard felt himself relax at that. He did as James said, moved the way he was told, let go of the ball, and got 9 of the pins down. He started to deflate, not having gotten that strike, but his friends jumped in the air and cheered for him. It wasn’t sarcastic cheering at all, he didn’t think; there didn’t seem to be malice in it when he turned and saw their faces. He smiled sort of sheepishly and sat in Frankie’s lap to watch Mikey take his turn.

“That’s the best you’ve done all night,” Frankie said proudly. Ze kissed Gerard’s shoulder.

Gerard shrugged it off. “It was all James.”

“OH, no!” James got up from his seat and brushed off something invisible dirt from his shirt. “Don’t need any of that credit.”

Gerard did end up getting a few strikes, one of which he got on his own. Frankie grinned as ze watched him, content and relieved to see him relaxed and happy. Ze wondered if anyone else noticed how he started the night so stuck in his head. Ze wondered if they could feel the difference as strongly as ze did.

“We should do this again,” Gerard said outside of the bowling alley after James dominated the evening. “Like, soon.”

“It’ll be harder with us out in Nassau,” Debbie started, quickly shushed by James.

“We’ll have a car, we can totally do it,”

“Anything but bowling, though,” Pete said. “Someone other than you deserves to win.”

There was a brief pause followed by a murmur of agreement. James scoffed and turned away from them. They said their amused goodbyes and went their separate ways. Frankie fell asleep on the cab home. Ze wasn’t the only one that noticed.

‘You okay bro?’ Mikey texted Gerard. ‘You seemed down tonight. Anything going on?’

Gerard squeezed Frankie’s shoulder and stared at his phone, not sure what to do. He decided to just be honest. He looked at Frankie fearfully, as if ze could read his text in reply. He didn’t want to talk about it. He couldn’t.

‘I’ll tell you tomorrow,’ he said to Mikey. ‘I’ll call you when Frankie’s not around.’


	5. Chapter 5

Three Gents was closed for interviews, which is so entirely ridiculous that Frankie found any reason to be late. Ze started organizing zir things with help from Gerard, who discouraged zir half-assed attempt to avoid zir responsibilities as a business owner but couldn’t leave zir to moving his stuff alone. They settled on giving Frankie a hall closet that used to contain Gerard’s paintings. He stared at them with a cup of coffee in his hand, frowning.

“What are we gonna do with all these paintings?” Frankie asked, looking at them like ze was an art critic.

“I don’t know,” Gerard said, disinterested. “Go to work.”

“Wanna do another gallery sometime?” Frankie gasped and clapped zir hands together. “You made as good amount of money last time!”

“Sure.” Frankie beamed and Gerard walked around zir. He started pushing zir to the door before continuing. “Right now, I need to finish my presentation and you need to go to work.”

Frankie’s converse slid across the carpet. When Gerard yawned loudly, ze slipped away from him and folded zir arms. “You were up pretty late last night on the phone, is everything okay?” ze asked.

He was less playful at that. His face turned bright red. He handed zir the keys. “Insomnia. Please go.”

Frankie sighed and kind of slumped exaggeratedly, looking like ze might just sit down and pout. Gerard laughed and put his cup on the coffee table before pulling zir up. He held zir arms gently and kissed zir face over and over, murmuring between kisses. “Please. Go. To. Work?”

Frankie hummed and nodded. They hugged and Frankie didn’t make to move. So Gerard lifted zir and waddled over to the door. He dropped zir and held his arms out to stop zir from getting back into the apartment. Frankie stuck zir tongue out and opened the door.

“Byyyye,” Gerard said.

Frankie waved as ze left the apartment. Gerard threw himself on the couch. He rubbed his eyes and waited a while before getting up and returning to the desk he shared with Frankie. He’d been working on his presentation all week, ever since his manager got him a meeting with a producer. He had everything: the synopsis, some sketches, character outlines, everything he needed to pitch it. Everything except the nerve.

Normally he’d talk to Frankie about his anxiety but ze was probably underground right now. Besides, ze was stressing about zir own job and he knew he was being stupid. This was a great opportunity! He should be happy. He should...call Mikey.

“Hey,” Mikey said. He sounded distracted. “This an emergency?”

Gerard was startled, though not really surprised. “Not...really, but-” he started, interrupted immediately.

“Call me later.”

Mikey hung up, just like that, and Gerard sighed. He took a few deep breaths and packed away his things before heading out. It was the longest train ride to work he’d ever experienced, and it was during the rare time of day where the trains weren’t sardine-packed with people. Gerard’s leg shook the whole time and he walked slowly between tourists to his office building. Frankie was two miles away, doing something for zir job ze hated too. Gerard could do this.

He entered the midtown office building and gave the doorman a cordial, if awkward, hello. He usually walked up the stairs to the third floor office but today he really wasn’t feeling getting his heart rate going. So he waited for the elevator, which seemed to take forever. He waved frantically at Bert once he made it to the third floor.

“Big day?” Bert asked.

“Yup,” Gerard said, looking as mortified as he felt. Probably.

“You got this. Good luck.”

Gerard dropped his things off at his cubicle, gathered everything he needed for his presentation, and walked down the hall between desks to meeting room C for the scariest thing he’s ever done.

Meanwhile, Frankie was dismissing yet another candidate with another carefully manicured excuse. Not enough years of experience. Style too unlike the other Gents. Style too similar to the other Gents. Too soft spoken. Too loud.

“Frankie!” Bob said after the last one. He was standing off to the side, resumes and porfolios in hand. “Please lower your standards.”

“Like you did when you started dating Gerard,” Jamia said. Bob high-fived her gently.

They’d set up the waiting area as a sort of interview room, with the couch behind the desk and Bob’s chair in front of it. The interview appointments were far enough apart that no one had to wait, but if they did show up early they were asked to return in a short while. Frankie sat in the middle looking unimpressed and intimidating, arms folded, asking hard questions and staring at the interviewees like they were a meal.

“No one’s good enough to replace you, James,” Frankie said easily, shrugging.

“Aww,” James replied. “That’s about as sweet as a pile of bullshit.”

Frankie scoffed and held her hand out to Bob. He handed zir the next folder. “Seriously, is there anyone even close to being as good as James?”

Jamia glanced over Frankie’s shoulder. “I liked that Ray guy.”

“Yeah, I think I liked him the most so far,” James agreed. “Ray Toro. Great style, friendly. He also pierces. Made this one laugh.”

James pointed his thumb at Frankie, who grinned and looked at Bob expectantly. Bob rolled his eyes and quickly through the portfolios for a Ray Toro. He handed the folder to Frankie and ze opened it up in zir lap. “Oh, this guy…” Frankie murmured. “Yeah, he was alright…”

Jamia elbowed Frankie. Then James did. Then they both did over and over until Frankie shouted, “Alright, if it means we don’t do any more interviews, let’s hire that guy! Jeez…”

Frankie threw zirself against James and Jamia reached over to hug zir between them. “It’ll work out,” Jamia murmured. James kissed the top of Frankie’s head. “And we do have two more interviews…”

Frankie and Bob both groaned.

A couple hours later, Frankie was home. They were gonna wait a few days to give Ray a call but it had been decided; he would replace James. Gerard knew Frankie would be bummed and ze didn’t even try to hide it. Ze pouted full force when ze walked into the apartment and ze sat on the ground by Gerard’s feet. Ze looked up like a sad puppy.

“Hi,” Gerard said, smiling. He put down his comic book and combed his fingers through zir hair, which ze was finally letting grow again. Frankie hummed and closed zir eyes.

“Hey,” ze sighed.

“Long day?”

Frankie nodded. "We picked someone to hire. How’d your presentation go?"

“The producer is going to help me make a pilot.”

Frankie’s eyes shot wide open. Gerard was smiling widely. He didn’t want to say anything until ze asked. Frankie jumped up and straddled his legs and hugged him, saying, “Oh my god! Oh my god! That’s amazing! I’m so proud of you I knew you would make it this is so great I’m so happy!”

Gerard laughed, too happy himself to really say anything that ze wasn’t saying. He hugged zir tight and kissed zir. When he got the chance, he murmured, “Thank you,” and Frankie just kissed him over and over before declaring that they were going out to celebrate. Good end to a stressful day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay Ray!


	6. Chapter 6

Gerard’s parents wanted to celebrate his success so that weekend, they met at a pizza shop in midtown. Well, Gerard’s mother wanted to celebrate his success and shove it in her husband’s face that his going to art school would pay off. Mikey just wanted free pizza. They were a complicated family.

Gerard and Frankie got to the restaurant first and waited on the narrow sidewalk for Gerard’s family. Frankie wore jeans and a t-shirt and very little makeup, to give off the ideal gender neutrality that would hopefully make zir uninteresting. Ze kept pulling down zir shirt, ruffling zir hair then fixing it again, wiping zir lips nervously. Ze tapped zir foot over and over and over and finally Gerard took zir hands and squeezed them.

“It’s gonna be alright,” Gerard insisted.

Frankie nodded and let out a sharp exhale. “I’m sorry, it’s your night, I’m being all...” Ze wiggled zir arms. “Floopy.”

Gerard chuckled and kissed zir forehead. “We’ll leave as soon as possible, okay?”

“No, I-”

“Get a room!”

Gerard pulled away suddenly and turned to his right, where his father was approaching flanked by Mikey and Donna. Mr. Way looked tired and annoyed, his “resting bitch face“ as Mikey called it, but he managed a small smile as Donna pulled Frankie and Gerard into a warm embrace. Frankie didn’t even mind that Mikey had interrupted their moment; Donna was always a bright presence.

“Congratulations, son,” Mr. Way said once Donna moved away. He offered Gerard a hand to shake. Gerard took it.

“Thanks,” he said. He felt like a little kid again, in both bad and good ways. “And thanks for dinner.”

“Anything for my boy.” Mr. Way patted Gerard’s cheek and headed inside.

“He’s so Italian,” Mikey quipped to Frankie, making zir giggle.

They headed inside and were sat a table far into the restaurant, past the bar. 80s music played overhead, and there was a weird mix of wild west and diner about the atmosphere: a lot of bright, neutral colors but high seats, rows of liquor on the wall. Frankie liked it. Ze sat across from Mr. Way, next to Mikey. Gerard sat on one side of the table by himself. The waiter gave them menus, poured some water, and left them to ponder laminated pizzas.

“So, how’s the living situation?” Mr. Way asked.

“It’s great,” Gerard said. “Frankie helps me pay rent and I help keep the place clean.”

They all chuckled a little awkwardly, except for Frankie who was staring intently at the amusingly named pizza. “The Muscles From” was followed by its ingredients, the first of which was brussel sprouts, and the pun would have made Frankie laugh if ze wasn’t avoiding Mr. Way’s gaze. How did ze end up sitting right across from him? The fates were not being kind today.

“Anything look good for you, Frank?” Mr. Way asked, an amicable smile on his face.

“I-it’s Frankie...and Oscar the Grouch looks good. I’m vegetarian.”

Mr. Way scoffed. “If Michael corrected me every time I used the name on his birth certificate, we’d never get through a conversation!” His laugh was that of a smoker and no one joined, except Donna who hooted like she was used to pretending his jokes amused her. Frankie smiled and looked down at the menu again.

“Frank isn’t on zir birth certificate,” Gerard said sharply, ending his father’s laughter short.

“Gerard, don’t…“ Frankie began weakly.

“Not that it’s any of your business what is,” Gerard went on. “Zir name is Frankie.”

There was a brief silence saved only by the waiter returning to refill their glasses and write down their orders. One Oscar the Grouch pie “for the vegan,” Mr. Way said, and a pie of “You Got a Lot of Balls for the rest of us.” The waiter laughed, and so did the rest of the table, and Frankie even managed to smile. It was clear the pizza names were the highlight of this restaurant. Frankie had hoped ze’d find a new favorite pizza place in the city after seeing the menu online but ze already didn’t want to return to this place.

“Oh, almost forgot!” the waiter said, making a 180 back to their table. “Drinks?”

Mr. Way: “Get whatever you like.”

Frankie promptly ordered the first cocktail ze got zir eyes on when ze flipped the menu over to the drinks. Gerard looked at zir worriedly. When the waiter walked away with the promise of bringing their pies soon, the awkward silence hung in the air again. Mikey blessedly filled in the emptiness. He was a quiet dude himself but he had a knack for breaking silences in a group.

“So, Gerard, what exactly is this TV show of yours about?” Mikey asked, sounding like an inquisitive reporter. Gerard brightened a little and got right to describing the cartoon that would have a pilot soon. He also offered his hand to Frankie under the table, which ze took and squeezed.

The rest of dinner was pretty uneventful. Gerard excitedly spoke about his show, and how much more interesting his job had gotten ever since its production was a possibility. Mr. Way was more curious than critical, which was good because Frankie was slowly getting more tipsy and Gerard knew how Frankie got when ze was ready to defend zir partner. Gerard handled it all pretty well, shooting down his father’s old age-y crap while boosting up his own career choice, and Mikey took some of the heat when he could. It was an interesting dynamic. While outsiders to their family like Frankie or Jamia saw a domineering, stereotypical last generation father, Gerard and Mikey saw the man as what he was: insecure, and projecting insecurities on to others. Maybe Gerard should tell Frankie this later.

Definitely not now. Frankie tackles half of the veggie pie zirself because despite their ability to stand up to Mr. Way, the other Ways still held back from doing anything that might garner them an insult from their patriarch. Mr. Way ordered another You Got a Lot of Balls pie for good measure. One slice left of the Oscar the Grouch pie, and four cocktails already down, Frankie stared at the slice longingly and leaned a little toward Gerard.

“You alright there, sport?” Mr. Way said to Frankie.

“I would like to not have that word used to refer to me,” Frankie said, a little slurred.

Another distraction from Mikey. Another pie. Another slice for Frankie, a last cocktail which Gerard drank half of to keep it from zir. Donna’s taking-Dad’s-crap meter finally reached full bar because she got louder and Mr. Way responded by being mostly quiet. They ate, Mr. Way paid the check, and Frankie was mostly quiet the rest of dinner. Outside of the restaurant, Frankie hugged Mikey and Donna then stood to the side while Gerard said his goodbyes. He took a little longer with Donna.

“Mikey told me what’s been going on,” she said sharply, about ten feet away from where Mikey stood between Frankie and Mr. Way.

“I’m fine,” Gerard insisted. “You saw me at dinner.”

“That’s because you had something to celebrate,” Donna said right away. “What happens when the high from this runs out?”

“...I’ll buy weed?”

Donna smacked Gerard’s head. Gerard rubbed his head and pouted a little. Frankie glanced over, confused by it all, and watched Donna whisper harshly to Gerard. The oldest Way son simply nodded. They hugged and Frankie was already walking backward away from Mikey.

“Bye, guys!” Mikey called, turning his father away.

“Yeah…” Frankie said weakly. Gerard grabbed zir hand.

It was a relatively quiet walk to the bus stop. Frankie coughed. Gerard yawned. Frankie kissed Gerard’s hand and Gerard hummed.

“You and your mom okay?” Frankie asked once they were at the bus stop, no distractions.

“Yeah,” Gerard said, too quickly. But Frankie would forget that it was so quick. “Are you okay?”

Frankie didn’t say anything. Ze took deep breaths and after a few minutes wiped zir eyes. Gerard pulled zir into a hug, away from the judging eyes of the others waiting for the bus. Frankie held him tight.

“I’m sorry but I can’t be around him,” Frankie murmured. “It’s like being with my own family and I left for a reason, Gerard, I don’t want to deal with--”

“It’s okay, baby.” Gerard rubbed zir back. “It’s okay.”

They held each other until the bus arrived. Frankie fell asleep with zir head tucked under Gerard’s chin. Gerard stared at an ad above the seats opposite him, for a plastic surgeon, and he thought about what his mother said. He’ll make the call soon.


	7. Chapter 7

T-minus 30 minutes to opening time. The new kid, Ray, was filling out paperwork at the front desk after a short tour from Jamia. Frankie was also there for the tour but ze pouted and stayed silent the whole time so there was no point in giving zir credit. James helped interview Ray a few days ago and they’d offered him the job almost immediately. He was talented but humble, kind of funny but focused, and a big thinker. Jamia loved him. Frankie wanted James back.

“He’ll be back tomorrow,” Jamia reminded Frankie.

“To finish one tattoo,” Frankie whined. “I wanna see him everyday. Forever. Instead, we've got a pom pom and I have to leave early.”

They were sitting on the couch so it wasn’t like Ray hadn’t heard that but he only smiled at the comment. He was tall and had his poofy hair in a high ponytail, which was pom pom-like. Anyway, he didn’t seem like the guy to mind being teased on occasion. Perfect for being a Gent.

“You’re the one that insisted on taking that class,” Jamia said to Frankie. “It’s not like anyone is forcing you.”

“I wanna get my associate’s degree,” Frankie grumbled.

“Then it’s good we have an extra set of hands here for when you’re busy, huh?”

The front door slammed open and in came Bob, looking unhappy. He threw his umbrella and jacket aside and looked at Frankie and Jamia with disdain. What was his damage?

“Good morning, wench,” Jamia said, raising her chin.

“Whatever,” Bob murmured, heading right back to the bathroom.

“I can’t believe we gave that asshole a raise,” Frankie said, loud enough that Bob could hear.

“Fuck you!” Bob called back.

Frankie and Jamia chuckled and did their secret handshake, which involved elbow hits, nose kisses, and lude gestures. It ended with an actual handshake. When they finished, they looked over at Ray. He just grinned and stared at them. He handed Jamia her clipboard and Jamia grabbed it, blushing.

“We’ve had less customers than usual so you’re gonna have to shake that sweet ass for us, Ray,” Jamia murmured as she read over the paperwork.

Frankie furrowed zir brow. Had they had less customers? Was it because James was leaving?

Bob reappeared from the back and stood behind Ray with his arms crossed. He hadn’t given Ray a very warm welcome, either, but Jamia had explained both their bad behavior away. Frankie hated change and Bob hated everyone. Ray seemed a bright enough person to be okay with that. Case in point:

“Ass shaken,” Ray agreed. He jumped when he noticed Bob was standing behind him and immediately got out of his seat. After a beat, he shook his ass to prove he’d do what Jamia said. Jamia grinned and got up so Ray could sit down.

“No harassment in the workplace, please,” Bob said, staring at Ray’s ass with the deepest frown on his face.

“Don’t fucking joke about that, Bryar,” Jamia said. “I’m gonna make copies of these for you down the street. You three can all bond now!”

Ray looked at Jamia a little desperately as he took her place on the couch. Frankie was still distracted thinking about zir recent workload. Ze had more free time lately, but it didn’t seem like a bad thing. How much was zir last paycheck? Ze was deep in thought when Bob threw a pen at zir head.

“Ray asked you a question,” Bob said. He opened up a magazine and went into his own world.

Frankie looked over at Ray. “What, what?” ze said distractedly.

“I said...what class do you have?” Ray asked, smiling. He seemed friendly enough…

“Some business class.” Frankie shrugged. “My boyfriend...minored in business and I...wanted to take some of the classes he’s told me about.”

“My boyfriend majored in business.” Ray folded his arms. “Business majors think they’re so much better than everyone but you know what? I’m proud of my Spanish major.”

Frankie’s eyebrows went up. “Spanish?”

“ _Quería enseñar_ ,” he explained.

“You wanted to teach? Why are you tattooing?”

Ray grinned. “You speak Spanish?”

“ _Un poco_!”

By the time Jamia returned with Ray’s copies, Frankie and Ray were deep in Spanish conversation. They spoke about Spain and Italy while Bob chewed gum and stared at them unhappily. Jamia was just happy that Frankie was relaxed. When the doors opened for customers, Frankie high-fived Ray before going to zir room.

Gerard was glad to hear from Frankie that ze was getting along with zir new employee, or teammate, or whatever. He was having a pretty mundane day at work himself, or so he said. He’d actually called in sick, walking Frankie to the bus stop then diverting to a local diner. He bought pancakes, coughed on the phone to his manager, and took the pancakes home. The pancakes sat in their styrofoam container on the coffee table. Gerard stared at it a little while, then groaned and texted his mother.

‘What’s the number again?’

A little while later, he was on the phone to a clinic in New Jersey. He hated these phone calls. He hated that clinic. He hated himself a little bit too but he had plenty of that to go around so he didn’t think about it too hard. He lied on the couch and reread comics he had memorized a long time ago, shitty talk shows on the TV in the background, and he must’ve fallen asleep at some point because he woke up to Frankie kisses.

“Hey, babe, how was your day?” Gerard said. Well, he tried to. It came out more like “habibuwujerdee.”

“My day was good,” Frankie said. Ze sat at the edge of the couch and stroked his hair. He still felt the ghost of zir lips on his cheeks and forehead. “You must’ve been tired to nap on the couch.”

“Yeah…“ Gerard tugged on Frankie’s arm and ze moved to straddled his hips. He rested his hands on zir thighs and just stared at zir a moment. Ze smiled and spread zir fingers across his chest. When ze leaned down to kiss him, he interrupted. “I have to tell you something…“

“Oh my god! That reminds me.”

Frankie climbed off the couch and Gerard moaned, reaching for zir. He watched zir go down the hall and return with zir phone charger. Ze attached it to the wall and knelt by it, clicking away. Gerard rubbed his eyes.

“My mom texted me earlier and she wants us to babysit next weekend!” Frankie said. “Apparently, she’s going to some gala and her usual babysitter cancelled. She offered to pay us but I told her we could do it for free.”

“Your sister is adorable,” Gerard said.

“I know! She’s the cutest and she’s gonna hang out with us. Isn’t that exciting?!”

Gerard lied on his side. Frankie looked so happy. There was no way Gerard could ruin that gorgeous smile on zir face. It’s just as well. He shouldn’t tell zir.

“What were you gonna say?” ze asked. Ze skipped over and sat at the edge of the couch.

“I…bought pancakes,” he said, nodding at the bag on the table. “They’re cold now.”

“Pancakes are pancakes are pancakes,” Frankie said, easily brushing it off.

They watched an awful movie on Netflix and Gerard begrudgingly ate what Frankie fed him, insisting ze couldn’t eat the pancakes on zir own.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I still have Flappy Bird on my phone. Happy Hump Day!
> 
> <3

Gerard hated Mondays passionately. There was something about the respite of the weekend that made Monday mornings a torture. He hated Mondays when he was a kid, he hated Mondays now. He was sitting in his little cubicle, caught between a storyboard for some new show and a storyboard for his own show, when he suddenly felt exhausted and decided to go to the break room. Bert waved him down before he could get there.

“Gerard! Hey, Gee Bear!”

Gerard did a 180 then shushed him, waving his energy down. Gee Bear was a ridiculous nickname Bert gave him a few months ago when they hugged for the first time at an office party. Bert said Gerard gave the best, warmest hugs, like a sweet little teddy bear. His words.

“How’s it going, man?” Bert said enthusiastically. Gerard walked up to him.

“I’m super swamped,” he admitted, frowning.

“That’s good! If they make you do a lot of work, that means they like the work you do.”

Gerard grinned, comforted by the sentiment. “Yeah, I guess so.”

“Dude, you totally belong here. Chill out.”

As the office assistant, Bert knew everyone’s business. He was also the friendliest person in the office. He seamlessly glanced at and stamped papers, moving them from pile to pile. He somehow always showed Gerard his full attention. It was intimidating at first, but Bert was such a feel-good guy. It was almost addictive to have him pay attention to you.

“So, we’re hanging out after work today,” Bert stated.

“I told you--”

“You’re busy, whatever. Every successful person has time to fuck around. Let me buy you a drink.”

Gerard squeezed his folded arms tighter. Bert just smiled until Gerard deflated and mumbled, “Yeah, okay, alright, buy me a drink.” He went to grab coffee and immediately texted Frankie about it. Guys were always discouraged from doing things by their partners, right? That’s a thing?

‘Have fun!’ was Frankie’s response, which was not what Gerard hoped for. The one time Gerard hated how nice Frankie was, probably.

After work, Gerard grabbed his jacket and followed Bert out of the building. It was late September and not super cold yet but Gerard liked the extra layer. Bert zipped up a hoodie and raved about a bar near his place in Queens. It was a dive, but a dive with cheap shots even on a Thursday. They walked to the R train.

“I take the R train home,” Gerard commented.

“Cool! We’re on the same train line! Train line buddies!”

Bert raised his hand high for a high five. Other people on the platform gave them strange looks. Gerard blushed a little before high fiving Bert weakly.

“Like you mean it,” Bert said, hand still up. Gerard high fived him again, with a little more force this time, and Bert jumped triumphantly. Gerard laughed at him, relaxing despite the stares from strangers.

It turned out the bar wasn’t a total dive. It had a jukebox that exclusively played 90s music of all genres, and tall tables away from the dancefloor for losers like Bert and Gerard that just came by for drinks. It was kind of perfect. Gerard stood at a table and waited for Bert to return, playing Flippy Fish on his phone. When Bert did, he carried a tray with approximately 10 shots.

“What the hell is this?!” Gerard kind of laughed, hoping some of the shot glasses had water in them.

“Thirsty Thursday,” Bert explained soberly. He divvied up the shots between them and raised a glass. “To Gerard!”

They also drank to cartoons, being young, Long Island, the French, and had another round. Gerard won’t remember what they drank to for that second round but he’ll remember having fun. It was like college all over again. Bert was _so cool_. He made Gerard feel good. Gerard told him this when they had their arms draped around each other and were walking down the street, away from the subway, toward Bert’s house.

“You make me feel good too, dude,” Bert said, grinning just as dumbly as Gerard. He squeezed Gerard’s waist and hummed. Gerard stumbled in place when Bert stopped in front of an apartment building. “Hey, you wanna head inside and do something else fun?”

Gerard rubbed his eyes, which didn’t help how distorted the world was at all, and shook his head. “No, I have a...dating someone.”

“I didn’t mean like that! Come on...”

Bert lived on the first floor. His apartment smelled like skunk. No. It smelled like weed. It was messier even than Frankie’s old apartment, which was saying something, but there was also a cologny smell. Weed and cologne. What a dream. Gerard lied on the couch and stared at the ceiling while Bert disappeared to some other part of the apartment.

“My roommate’s not here so we can play some music,” Bert said when he returned. “And take a couple of these.”

Gerard wasn’t sure what was in the pill bottle but he cringed when Bert shook it in front of him. He barely caught it when Bert threw it. A moment later, he had a pill between his fingers and there was loud punk music playing.

“It's like weed but easier,” Bert explained when Gerard hesitated. Bert scooped up the pill in Gerard’s hand with his tongue. Gerard made a face but found himself smiling. He was nervous as hell but he took a pill and joined the party. Bert brought out more drinks.

Needless to say, Gerard was super fucked up when he got home hours later.

“How was it?” Frankie asked. Ze was eager to see Gerard but resisted the urge to pull him into a hug when the door opened. Instead ze stood a few feet from the door, hands clasped together tightly and smile huge.

Gerard said he was a little drunk in a text but he seemed confused by the door. He stared at it a moment then slowly shut it. A grin crept up on his face. It disappeared the moment he looked up at Frankie.

“He tried to kiss me,” Gerard murmured, walking in an uncertain line.

It happened right after the pill started to kick in. Gerard swayed in his seat while Bert passionately sang along. He knelt in front of Gerard and sang close to his face. It seemed innocent enough at first. Gerard sang along too. But then Bert stroked Gerard’s cheek and his fingers skirted down Gerard’s neck.

Frankie’s eyebrows shot right up.

“But I didn't let him,” Gerard said sternly, his eyes wide to show how serious he was. His hands landed on Frankie’s hips and he felt the soft velvet of zir skirt on the pads of his fingers. It was like touching heaven.

“Thanks for being honest with me,” Frankie said, stepping closer.

Ze wasn’t mad. Good. Gerard brought his hands to zir waist and pulled zir close. Ze was wearing heavier makeup than usual and ze looked really feminine. The blouse ze had on was flimsy and he could see zir blue bra underneath. “You’re so sexy,” he murmured, growled almost, then chuckled.

“Thank you,” Frankie whispered back. “I feel sexy.”

“When was the last time we had sex?”

Gerard didn’t even give zir a chance to respond. He kissed zir hard, stumbled forward almost lifting zir. He wanted to get zir to the couch but zir calves hit the coffee table. He lowered zir gingerly onto it then licked the lipstick off his lips.

“Hey…” Frankie sounded more amused than anything. Ze watched Gerard struggle with the buttons on zir blouse. “Are you okay?”

“I’m so okay,” Gerard said quickly. “You’re so hot.”

“Gerard, you’re too drunk.”

He shook his head furiously, then kissed zir belly. “No, you’re too hot.” And maybe it was the skirt or the drugs or the way Bert spoke about the last girl he fucked but Gerard’s next comment, mostly to himself, was: “My girlfriend is so hot.”

Then Gerard was on the floor. Frankie hadn’t meant to push him that hard but who cares? He was drunk and being an asshole. “Uhm, fuck you?”

“I-I’m sorry,” Gerard whispered. Frankie stood over him, arms folded. He looked terrified. “You just look really nice in that skirt.”

“You’re too drunk for us to have sex and I’m really not into you right now anyway.” Frankie turned away sharply. “Go eat something or shower!”

“I’m sorry!”

“Say it again in the morning!”

Gerard had no idea how it happened but he woke up the next morning in bed, in his pajamas, covered in blankets, and not feeling completely hung over. He looked around for some clues. Glass of water next to him on the nightstand. His clothes folded neatly on top of his dresser. Frankie fixing zir makeup in front of the vanity and staying completely silent despite seeing Gerard’s awake reflection in the mirror.

“What time is it?” Gerard asked.

“Time for you to be late for work,” Frankie said, in zir I’m-not-angry-fuck-you voice 

Gerard took a deep breath. “You took care of me last night.”

“No shit.”

“I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay!”

It clearly wasn’t. You’ve never seen someone apply blush so furiously. Gerard sat up, trying not to worry himself into a worse headache.

“I haven’t misgendered you since we started dating,” he lamented. “I can’t believe I did that.”

Frankie shrugged, still not looking at him. “You were drunk.”

“You’re mad.”

“Yeah, well!” Frankie slammed the brush down. “I have every right.”

“What can I do to make it up to you?” Gerard bit his lip and patted his thigh. He was feeling some residual horniness and confidence that could only mean he was drunk and stoned last night. “Hot and fast fuck?” he asked.

Frankie glared at him. Okay, not funny.

“Slow and...cold fuck?”

Frankie turned away sharply. Ze smiled a little as ze continued to apply makeup.

“Full body massage...?” Gerard tried again.

“Oh, that one,” Frankie said, standing up. Ze walked over and kissed his nose. “I like that one.” Gerard deflated as soon as ze turned away, tension escaping every one of his pores instantaneously. “And you’re not late for work,” ze called from the other room. “I’m heading out early to grab breakfast with Ray. You should get up now, though.”

“I will,” Gerard said, thinking hard about the other thing he had left to worry about now.

Frankie poked zir head into the bedroom. “If Bert tries to kiss you again, he’s dead to me and possibly actually dead.”

“Noted.”

“Bye, baby.”

Frankie blew him a kiss. He caught it. When he heard the front door slam shut behind Frankie, he slapped his hand on his forehead a few times. 

“What did I do?” he asked himself, thinking about the night before. It took him a while longer to get ready to face Bert.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the late update! Yesterday I was super busy and I kind of passed out after work.
> 
> Silly anecdote at the end.
> 
> <3

There’s a playground a few blocks from Gerard and Frankie’s apartment and Saturday afternoon, they took 3-year-old Valentina Iero there. She insisted on holding both their hands on the short walk and her jacket looked way too warm for October. But she looked like the Michelin man so Gerard was totally okay with it. Frankie wasn’t.

“She’s smothering her already,” Frankie grumbled. “Like, she wants to be a better mom to this kid than she was to me? She’s got some points against her already.”

Gerard shushed Frankie violently. They both tugged when little Valentina tried to skip ahead into traffic. The girl didn’t understand the concept of traffic law and she couldn’t quite stop moving her feet.

“Park park park park,” she murmured, hopping in place. When she stepped on Frankie’s feet, Frankie shook her arm a little and pouted. When she stepped on Gerard’s feet, Gerard jokingly raised his foot to her and she giggled.

“She’s gonna be fine,” Gerard said in somewhat of a singsong voice. The traffic light changed and Gerard scooped Valentina up into his arms. “Right? You’re good?”

“I’m good!” the little girl cheered.

Frankie couldn’t help but smile at that. Ze led Gerard across the street with a hand on his arm. He was distracted making faces at Valentina and making her laugh, which definitely didn’t help with the whole situation of teaching her to be wary when crossing the street. Frankie was gonna get an earful for this. No one would have to even tell Frankie’s mom, she’d just get it out of zir somehow. She always did.

There were a few other families at the park. Gerard didn’t put Valentina down until he was through the gate and when he did, he chased her. She screeched and ran toward the jungle gym while Gerard roared. Frankie took it upon zirself to sit on the bench and text whoever until it was zir shift to watch Valentina.

“That your kid?”

Frankie smiled over at the woman on the other end of the bench. It took zir a moment to weed out the correct answer. It was so hard to wrap zir head around, even now. “Sister,” Frankie said with a nod.

“Oh, good,” the woman said, sounding relieved. Frankie was so startled by that that ze kind of stared for a moment before responding.

“Good why?” ze snapped.

The woman chuckled, faux-goodnaturedly. “A child should grow up with a normal mother and father. You two clearly don't fit the bill.”

Frankie tried really hard to ignore the angry, violent ache in the center of zir chest. Zir hair was in a pixie cut but ze wore a short skirt and combat boots. Gerard looked kind of feminine with his shoulder length locks but he had a five o’clock shadow due to Valentina wanting him to keep his beard. They didn’t look conventional but that gave this woman no right to insult them.

“Normal mother and father?” Frankie scoffed, put zir phone away, and turned to face the woman dead on. “So no one on this bench is fit to parent, then.”

The woman rolled her eyes and pointedly turned away. Frankie stared zir down until the woman got up and moved to another bench. That was when Gerard came over with Valentina, who was balanced on his feet as he walked.

“What’s up?” Gerard asked, glancing at the woman that Frankie had just intimidated out of her seat.

“Nothing,” Frankie said. Ze tried a smile. It probably looked as painful as it felt. “How’re you enjoying the park, Val?”

“Wanna play with you,” she said.

“That’s why I brought her here,” Gerard admitted.

“Cheater.” Frankie picked Valentina up and Gerard sat down, pouting.

“I love hanging out with little Ballerina!” Gerard defended himself.

“Valentina!” said the girl, in that angry exasperated way that children get.

“Sorry, yes, Valentina.”

Gerard bowed in apology and Valentina smiled. Frankie skipped over to the playground. Valentina pointed Frankie to a giant steering wheel at the top of some steps. Frankie dropped Valentina off in front of it and she started spinning it as fast as her little arms allowed. Frankie smiled over at Gerard, who gave them a thumbs up.

The siblings went down a slide together multiple times, going in line with other kids. Frankie helped Valentina cross the monkey bars by holding her up. Valentina taught Frankie to play a game where they ran from gate to gate making strange noises. Some of the other parents gave Frankie strange looks but ze was too busy being tuckered out having fun with zir sister. After a while, even Valentina was exhausted and she drifted over to Gerard. She climbed up into his lap and lied against him.

“You guys playing together is the cutest,” Gerard said, rubbing Valentina’s back.

“It was fun,” Frankie said, a little surprised. “You ready to go home, kid?”

Valentina nodded a little. Gerard groaned as he got up, complaining that Valentina was heavy for him. She pouted at him and he explained it was just because he wasn't very strong. Frankie watched in bemusement the whole way home as Gerard spoke easily with Valentina, engaging the child in conversation despite her limited vocabulary and frequent yawns. When they got home, Gerard went to put Valentina down for a nap while Frankie made coffee.

Gerard was still a little freaked by his night with Bert but spending the day with Valentina helped. He loved kids. They’re so goofy. He liked the person he was when he was around them, goofy and happy and without the help of illicit substances. Valentina was a huge fan of his.

“Sing more,” Valentina murmured, eyes half closed.

Gerard cleared his throat for one more song. “Hush little baby, don't say a word. Gerry’s gonna buy you a giant bird.”

Valentina smiled at Gerard’s made up verses and she fell asleep like that. Frankie stood by the door watching. Gerard tiptoed over to Frankie and gave zir a kiss before following zir to the window seat in the living room where their coffees were. They picked up their mugs then tangled their legs together, leaning back against the wall.

“Impressive improv skills,” Frankie said.

“Thanks, I’m kind of a pro,” said Gerard. Frankie laughed. Gerard couldn’t stop smiling. “Man, I can’t wait to have one of those.”

Frankie sipped zir coffee. “One of what?”

“A kid.”

At that very moment, they both had the very same thought: fuck. Frankie looked utterly shocked while Gerard’s goofy, happy feeling drifted to the ceiling like the mist from his coffee mug. Frankie put zir own mug down and stared at it.

“I don’t know if I want a kid,” ze whispered. “I mean, I don’t see something like that in my future.”

No amount of distress could stop Gerard from drinking coffee so he drank quickly despite the burn. Maybe he should try for a joke, keep it lighthearted. Avoid the fact that they'd been so into each other and in the moment the past year and change that this was not something that had come up in conversation before.

“At least we can agree on not getting married,” Gerard joked. He took Frankie’s comment to mean ze didn't want anything traditional, and knowing Frankie this made sense. He realized right away that he was mistaken.

“What?” Frankie looked even more appalled than before.

In a whisper, Gerard asked, “You wanna get married?”

“I don’t...wanna not.”

Frankie watched Gerard’s good mood of the last few days leave him. Ze saw it in the way his shoulders fell, his skin paled, his eyes grew dark. He was a little further away again, a distance that had been so gradually building between them over the past few months that ze sometimes forgot it was there. Until things like this happened. Until Gerard shrunk away.

“J-just because your parents never married each other doesn’t mean…” Gerard started. Frankie folded zir arms and rose a brow. Gerard made an exasperated sound. “Can I finish before you yell at me?”

Frankie’s family was always a sensitive subject and all Gerard knew about Frankie’s dad was that he never married Frankie’s mom. Ze didn’t let up on zir unamused expression but said, “Proceed.”

Gerard sighed. “Doesn't mean that getting married makes us better--”

“Parents?” Frankie interrupted.

Gerard rolled his eyes. They couldn’t avoid it any longer by trying to keep their tones in check; this was gonna turn into a fight. “My parents have been married forever and they hate each other,” Gerard tried to reason. 

It came off as condescending to Frankie. Ze couldn’t believe what ze was hearing. Ze knew they were both slowly getting angry but ze couldn’t help sounding like a bitch in response. “Do you just want to get the chance to leave me whenever you feel like it?” ze asked. “Leave me and our kid, apparently? Like my dad did to my mom?”

“It’s not…” Gerard rubbed his face. He pulled his knees up closer to his chest, removing all contact from Frankie. “How can you not want kids? It’s, like, the biggest accomplishment of anyone’s life. We love each other more than our parents loved each other.” Gerard dropped his hand and stared at Frankie, who still looked deeply unhappy. “I think we’d do a good job... I think we’d raise an awesome kid.”

“My aspirations don't include a baby, Gerard. I have a business, I’m going to school.”

“There’s time-”

“And not getting married, especially with a kid, is financially irresponsible!” Frankie snapped.

Gerard rolled his eyes. “Financial responsibility...the height of romance.”

“And dirty diapers are, what? A vacation in Cancun?”

They stared at each other with such malice that it caused a painful ache in Gerard’s chest. He looked down. He closed his eyes. A million scary questions were zooming through his head. He couldn’t believe he’d been ignoring his coffee during this whisper-shout fight. He felt like he didn’t even know Frankie. Whenever he thought about 30 years from now, he saw himself with Frankie. Now the image was out of focus.

“I can’t believe we haven’t had this conversation before,” Frankie whispered. Gerard looked up, feeling kinda guilty, but Frankie’s expression was soft now. Ze looked like ze felt guilty too.

“Can we pause the conversation for a while?” Gerard asked. “I don’t want- I can’t-”

“Yeah, yeah, we’ll...talk about it after our anniversary.” Frankie poked Gerard’s leg with a toe and Gerard stretched out his legs again. Ze bit zir lip and rubbed zir toes on his thigh. “If you haven’t left me for some chick with great eggs by then.”

 

Gerard looked up at the ceiling and shook his head. Frankie giggled.

“Please never use the word eggs in that context again,” Gerard practically begged.

“You want some eggs for breakfast tomorrow?”

“STOP.”

Frankie laughed fully and covered zir mouth. Gerard poked zir belly with his toes. They played an awkward game of footsies, mugs held high to avoid spilling, giggling, playful and amused. Gerard could worry about their relationship later. He definitely would.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My middle school history teacher was friends with Mikey Way back in the day and even hung out with MCR in their bus in the early days. His name was Mike and he and Mikey called each other Michael. He called Gerard "Gerry," hence why I take any opportunity I can to call him Gerry in my fics lol.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've finally updated the tags and character list for this fic, so you know what to expect.
> 
> <3

Ray, Frankie, and Jamia somehow miraculously all had an overlapping free half hour near 2pm so they ordered Chinese and prayed for no walk-ins. A company lunch break was not a bad idea. Bob begrudgingly joined them, because it wasn’t like there was anything for him to do, and they sat around on the couch and on chairs with their food, chatting.

“We still sponsoring that rally in Brooklyn?” Jamia asked Ray. “I've got some folks that are interested in attending if we are.”

“Totally!” Ray exclaimed, mouth full of egg roll. He finished chewing before going on. “I know you guys were wary about taking a strong stance like that but trust me, it shows we have integrity and a type of person that visits our shop plus! We’re gonna get so many new customers, and we’re gonna have fun.”

Frankie smiled a little. Ze wouldn’t admit it aloud but Ray was a good addition to their team. He had big ideas he didn’t touch without the team’s full cooperation, he brought with him a unique tattooing style as well as his piercing skill for even more potential clientele, he worked as many hours as Jamia and Frankie without complaint. He was a cool, hardworking, friendly dude and Frankie could not have asked for a better replacement for James.

He even tried to be friendly with Bob, which was impossible lately. “You coming to the rally?” Ray asked Bob.

Bob just kind of stared at him until Ray looked away, blushing. “I'm not a hippie like you guys,” he mumbled.

“Bob, you’ve been in a bad mood for like a year,” Frankie pointed out. “What is going on?”

Bob gave Frankie the same look he gave Ray but ze didn’t back down. They just stared at each other until Jamia cleared zir throat.

“You’re leaving early tonight, right?” she asked Frankie.

“Yeah…” Ze grinned. “Gerard and I have a hot date. And I don’t have any appointments later anyway.”

Bob chuckled then avoided eye contact with everyone. Frankie rolled zir eyes.

“Making up for lost time, huh?” Jamia said.

Frankie put zir food down. “Why do you always assume there’s something wrong with my relationship when I’m not constantly talking about it?” ze asked.

“Because that’s exactly the kind of person you are.”

“We’ve been together longer than I was with you. You can relax.”

“I’m not happy you’re having trouble, I’m concerned!”

Ray watched them fight in that half-assed manner that best friends often do. There was a clear honesty to their arguing masked by their playful tone and it seemed like a good way to let off some steam. When they quieted and Frankie picked up zir food again, Ray decided to get his curiosity rewarded.

“You used to date?” Ray asked, grinning.

“One time, they fucked right on that couch you’re sitting on,” Bob piped in.

Ray immediately stood up, looking down in terror. The others laughed at him. He sat back down, not looking happy.

“New guys get teased,” Jamia said. “Deal with it.”

“I guess Bob’s been the new guy for the past 2 years,” said Ray.

Around 6:15pm, Frankie ended zir day early and sat on the couch to wait for Gerard. With his commute, he should get to the shop around 6:30. At 6:45, Frankie lied down and crossed zir legs. Ze gave Gerard a call at 7pm. It went straight to voicemail.

“What the fuck?” Frankie exhaled. Ze stared at the ceiling, feeling impatient and a little pissed off.

Gerard was feeling impatient too. The damn trains took forever, which made his excuse for being late less seemingly legitimate. If he was late to being late because the trains were late, could he use the trains being late as an excuse for being late?

“What are you even saying?” asked Mikey, who Gerard had called the moment he was out on the street again. “Just tell zir the truth, asshole.”

“I can’t do that,” Gerard said, fast walking across the street. “I can’t tell zir.”

Mikey let out the longest sigh of all time. Gerard was about a block away when he was done.

“New world record,” Gerard grumbled.

“Thanks!” Mikey said.

“I gotta go, I’ll text you later.”

“Thank goodness.” Mikey hung up without saying another word.

Gerard ran the rest of the way to Three Gents, which wasn’t easy because everyone was on their way home and everyone moved slow as a collective. He burst through the door of the shop and dramatically threw himself onto Bob’s desk, making Bob jump about a foot in the air and curse under his breath. Gerard looked around and smiled weakly at Frankie, who’d sat up on the couch. Ze didn’t look happy.

“Hey…” Gerard said. “Hi.”

“You’re a jerk,” Frankie said, folding zir arms.

Gerard slid over to the couch. Frankie scooted away. “Okay, yes. I know. I’m sorry…” When he tried to touch zir hair, ze dodged it. He sighed. He thought about a good excuse and realized a partial truth worked. “I was held up a bit at work. I thought I’d only get here a couple minutes late but the trains…”

Gerard let his voice trail off when he saw Frankie relaxing a bit. Ze gave in and leaned zir head on him. He took a deep breath and tried to remember what he’d just learned. Be more affectionate, he reminded himself. It was what Frankie needed, even if it wasn’t always easy. Gerard looked down at zir and pulled zir into a hug. Ze moved over onto his lap.

“Hey,” ze whispered, kissing his neck.

“Get out of here!” Bob groaned. Frankie and Gerard both looked at him. “Like, you can do that at home. You don’t need me as an audience member.”

Frankie blinked twice before licking Gerard’s face, a long stripe from the corner of his lips to his hairline. Gerard made a face. Bob sunk so low in his seat he almost fell off his chair.

Gerard and Frankie went to dinner. It wasn’t the fanciest place but it was close to home, dim-lighted, played soft music. It was romantic. They were both calm and happy when they got home. They showered, put on their pajamas, brushed their teeth. All the while they exchanged little smiles and glances, brief touches and embraces. It was nice. They got into bed early and cuddled to read. Gerard a comic, Frankie some book for zir class. Gerard was the one to break the comfortable silence.

“Does it bother you that we don’t have sex as often?” he asked.

Frankie waited a moment to respond. Briefly enough that it didn’t seem like it was a difficult question for zir to answer, long enough that he knew ze wasn’t being flippant. Finding the right amount of pause was difficult but Frankie knew putting the effort in would give Gerard peace of mind. Ze really didn’t care that Gerard couldn’t, or wouldn’t, or wasn’t in the mood for sex. As long as he was being honest with zir.

“No,” ze said. “I told you you never have to feel bad about that. Just be sure to tell me anything I need to know.”

Frankie couldn’t see Gerard’s face because ze was lying with zir back against his chest but the fact that he hadn’t tensed up was a good sign. After a moment, he sighed. “My body’s not in it,” he decided. “It’s not anything you did!”

“Alright.” Frankie rubbed the arm he had across zir chest. “It’s okay. I take care of myself when I need to.”

Frankie picked up zir book again. This time, Gerard did tense up.

“You masturbate?” he whispered.

“I have since before I lost my virginity,” Frankie said calmly.

Gerard shut his comic and set it aside. Frankie giggled and did the same with zir book. Ze scooted up so Gerard could hold zir properly and he did, both arms firmly around zir.

“What was your first time like?” he asked. Frankie looked back to see him blushing. He had a determined expression on his face, as if he’d get through this conversation no matter what.

“You really wanna know?” Frankie asked.

Now Gerard looked a little pained. “Sure.”

Frankie chuckled. “His name was Adam,” ze said. Gerard wiggled. “He was my dealer in high school.”

Gerard shifted and turned his head away before Frankie could try to read his face. When ze felt that he wasn’t getting comfortable, ze moved off of him and leaned against the wall next to him. Ze waited for his eyes to stop blinking furiously at the wall. Ze was ready to free him of this topic of conversation when he finally spoke up.

“Seriously?” Gerard scoffed. His eyebrows were furrowed in a way that seemed more like discomfort than embarrassment. “You fucked your dealer?”

“Two birds with one stone,” Frankie said, shrugging. A devilish little smile crept up on Gerard’s face.

“Two birds with one _stoned_ ,” he said, then shot his hand up for a high five.

“Oh my God.” Frankie high-fived him. “You’re really proud of that one.”

“Yes.”

Frankie laughed a little zirself before continuing. “He was my dealer and we had this exchange, right? He gave me discounts if I-”

“Rode him,” Gerard interrupted.

“Did his chem homework,” Frankie corrected. “So one Sunday night he came over for a delivery, and because there was some drama at his house he needed to get away from, and we smoked weed to get his mind off it.”

“And then you rode him?” Gerard whispered.

“Basically.”

Frankie really couldn’t decipher the expression on Gerard’s face. He seemed less curious than pleased by the information, more thoughtful than mortified. It didn’t explain his earlier discomfort.

“I haven’t smoked weed in a while,” he finally said.

Frankie laughed. Oh.

“I’m still friends with Adam,” Frankie admitted.

Gerard smiled from ear to ear, and his face was bright red. “Seriously?”

“You know the tall dude that hangs at the shop?”

“THAT Adam?”

Frankie laughed again. “Yeah!”

“He’s so squishy,” Gerard murmured, poking his own belly through his shirt. Frankie smacked his hand away.

“We can score off him.” Ze kicked zir feet off the bed in excitement.

Again, Gerard seemed deep in thought only now he seemed to be struggling. He looked at Frankie with wide eyes and bit his nail, while Frankie just grinned. Gerard was so cute. Ze was in love with the idea that Gerard was a secret stoner in college. This could be so much fun.

“Are we too old to smoke weed?” he finally asked. Frankie groaned and dragged zir leg over his lap to straddle him. “I feel like that’s such a teenage thing to do, not a late-twenties thing to do.”

“Shut up, we’re getting stoned,” Frankie said, then immediately kissed him.

“Alright…”

Gerard kissed zir back and they made out well into the night, fully clothed and holding each other and smiling.


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Will explain my lack of update last week at the end. In the meantime, enjoy this sexy chapter.
> 
> <3

Adam lived in someone’s basement in Brooklyn. He swore his landlords would never go down there unannounced; the inside door to the basement couldn’t be opened without Adam’s single key. The door into the backyard couldn’t be opened from the outside period, which was why he left it open when he went to pick up Gerard and Frankie from the bus stop. He was super excited to see them, and Gerard could tell by the way he squeezed them when they met.

The steps down to the basement creaked and Gerard stayed close behind Frankie. It was always weird to him going to someone’s home just to get drugs. He figured it was a little different in this case because Adam has been good friends with the Gents for years but he still couldn’t escape that queasy, awkward feeling of breaking the law in a place unfamiliar to him.

“Make yourselves comfortable,” Adam said, gesturing to a small yellow couch in the center of the room. The basement was pretty dark and dingy and looked like a skeletal version of your regular New York City studio apartment: mini-fridge, tiny washer-dryer, twin bed, a rack with shirts hanging from it, a dresser with drawers covered in stickers. Gerard tried not to scrutinize the place too much, being a guest and all, but he couldn’t imagine living like this.

Frankie pulled Gerard onto the couch and Adam himself went through a door across from the small living room area. He came back with a little jar filled to the brim with marijuana buds. Gerard stared at it with huge eyes. Frankie was a lot more relaxed, and leaned zir head on Gerard’s shoulder.

“How long have you two cuties been together?” Adam asked. He had all he needed on the coffee table to roll a joint and got to it.

“Smells good,” Gerard murmured when Adam started grinding the weed. Adam beamed.

“About a year and a half,” Frankie answered. Ze pat Gerard’s cheek.

“Little more than that,” Gerard said with a nod. He moved his fingers through zirs and kissed zir palm.

“We broke up for a week once but we pretend it didn’t happen.”

“Well, you guys are clearly in love and I think it’s really sweet,” said Adam, grinning at them. “Haven’t seen you this happy in a while, Frankie.”

Gerard smiled down at zir. Frankie wrapped zir arms around Gerard’s waist. Gerard played with zir hair. Frankie loved when he played with zir hair, ze loved being this close to him in sort of public again. Lately it seemed like they only showed affection to each other at home, and barely even then. Knowing that someone close to Frankie could see how much they loved each other was exhilarating and made zir all the more happier.

Adam lit the joint and took a long hit before passing it over to Gerard, who said, “Oh, oh shit.” Frankie laughed and rubbed his arm. He fumbled with the joint, carefully getting his hand out from around Frankie, and held it between his lips for a moment. He blew smoke up into the air and handed the joint over to Frankie. Ze was a lot less delicate than either of the boys and found zirself coughing. Ze passed it back to Adam. 

“Remember when we used to get stoned and watch shitty movies and make out?” Adam asked.

“Good ol’ days,” Frankie said wistfully. Gerard gave zir a squeeze. “We can totally do that, too, babe!”

 

Adam finished most of the joint as they passed it around and went to roll another. When he was done he sat on the coffee table to light it. Frankie was already starting to feel zir first few hits and having Adam that close suddenly made zir eyes widen. Ze moved away a little, smiling.

“Let’s shotgun this shit,” Adam said, gesturing to the joint in his hand.

Gerard blushed. Shotgunning weed was something he hadn’t done in a very long time and his initial reaction was to find it inappropriate. It was one thing for Adam to reminisce about putting his mouth on Frankie and a whole other thing to actually do it. He knew it shouldn’t upset him; that he had no right to be mad or to be threatened, considering their history with friends of Frankie that ze was too close to. He also considered the night with Bert and how ze would feel if ze knew all the details. But he looked down at Frankie, then at Adam, and he imagined Adam “kissing” him. Then he imagined Frankie “kissing” Adam. He didn’t mind either of those scenarios.

“Umm,” was all Gerard could say. He felt more than a little flustered.

“He really is that shy,” Adam said to Frankie.

“Isn’t it cute?” Frankie teased, poking Gerard’s side. 

“Come on!” Adam pat Gerard’s thigh. “Let’s just get it around the circle.”

“We’re kind of a triangle,” Gerard said. Adam just kept smiling. “And okay, let’s do it.”

Adam pumped his fist in the air and eagerly took a hit. Frankie giggled. Then Adam leaned forward and touched his fingers delicately to Gerard’s neck. They pressed their lips together, opened their mouths, and Adam passed the smoke across Gerard’s lips.

“CUTE!” said Frankie. Gerard sputtered out the smoke and started laughing.

They got the smoke all the way around on the second try. Delicately from Adam to Gerard, giggling from Gerard to Frankie, and seriously from Frankie to Adam because they had to do it right this time. Gerard grinned as he watched them. Frankie coughed when Adam stood up and blew the smoke at the ceiling triumphantly.

“We made it around the circle!” Gerard cheered, getting a high five from Adam.

“Triangle,” Frankie corrected.

Adam left them to get some snacks. Frankie was feeling lazy and content and was slowly lying down across Gerard’s lap, body becoming more horizontal in increments every minute. Gerard could not stop giggling as he watched zir move. Adam returned with a family sized bag of chips and a few beers. He sat on the coffee table again. They finished the joint and got down to snacking and chatting.

“I thought you only smoked joints outside,” Frankie said, scrutinizing Adam’s mouth. Ze was finally lying down. Gerard fed zir chips.

“Listen,” Adam said. “Smoking a joint is like serving food on a paper plate. It isn’t good for the environment but sometimes you don’t want to wash any extra dishes.”

“Too lazy to clean your bowls, huh?” Gerard piped in.

“I’m not too lazy to clean my balls!” Adam sounded completely outraged.

“That’s not what-” Frankie started. Gerard was already laughing, and Frankie and Adam joined him.

They kept laughing about silly things and shouting with their mouths full. Gerard was happy. Frankie was half asleep on his lap. Adam kept touching his knee, letting his fingers linger, giving him long looks. Gerard knew what it all meant but his perception was off so all he could really think about was how cute Adam was and how warm Frankie was. Then Adam and Frankie exchanged a look.

“If he wants to,” Frankie said.

“What?” said Gerard. “What is this telepathy?”

“Wanna make out?”Adam asked Gerard.

Gerard was already pretty red from the laughing but what? “What?”

“Go for it,” Frankie said easily. “You have my permission. My blessing.”

Gerard was a little speechless, mouth gaping like a fish. Adam smirked at him. Frankie squeezed his hand, which ze held firmly on zir belly, and, with the encouragement, Gerard gave a small nod. Adam leaned right over Frankie and kissed Gerard hard on the lips. Gerard made a little surprised sound but kissed him back. He was eager, and excited, and curious. Adam’s lips tasted like barbecue chips. His hand was soft, resting on his neck.

Frankie wanted a better view so ze moved out from under them. Ze kept a hold of Gerard’s hand as ze watched. Ze squeezed his hand and he tugged, urging zir closer. Ze rested zir chin on Gerard’s shoulder and watched them kiss more aggressively. Ze stroked Adam’s cheek.

When they parted, Gerard was totally breathless but he couldn’t stop smiling. Adam looked just as pleased. Frankie bit zir lip and looked between them.

“Kiss zir,” Gerard told Adam, his voice no more than a soft whisper.

Frankie barely had a moment to brace zirself before Adam was on zir. Ze hummed and tugged on his shirt, a lot less passive then Gerard had been. To zir surprise, Gerard helped get Adam’s t-shirt off. Then Frankie and Gerard kissed. The weight shifted on the couch as Adam straddled Gerard’s lap.

They took turns making out like this. While Gerard and Adam kissed, Frankie pulled off zir t-shirt and wiggled out of zir jeans. Then Adam grabbed zir again and Gerard touched their chests, fingers soft, touching and grabbing and trailing down. They both made happy sounds. Adam turned to kiss Gerard again. He tugged at Gerard’s shirt while Frankie rubbed zir palm against Gerard’s crotch. Gerard did the same to Adam.

“Okay, okay, fuck this,” Adam said, standing up suddenly. Gerard frowned, worried that something was wrong, but Adam just stripped down naked before getting on his knees and helping Gerard out of his jeans.

“So this is happening?” Gerard asked no one in particular.

“Looks like it,” said Frankie, helping Gerard out of his shirt.

Gerard was too relaxed and horny to protest or second guess it. He shimmied down the seat a little, getting more comfortable as Adam stripped him. Once he was naked, Adam and Frankie bumped heads as they both leaned forward. Gerard couldn’t believe it. He’d never had multiple people try to blow him at the same time before.

“Plenty of me to go around,” Gerard joked.

“There really is, holy shit!” Adam said. Gerard laughed and felt himself blush.

Adam let Frankie get zir lips on Gerard’s cock, which was slowly getting hard, and settled for kissing Gerard a little more. Gerard moaned and giggled against Adam’s lips. Frankie kneaded Gerard’s thighs, urging him to spread them more. He was feeling so lazy and calm and good, so much better than he’d felt in the last few months, and he only saw things looking up from here.

“Can I fuck zir?” Adam said against Gerard’s mouth.

Gerard was too stoned and turned on to think very hard about it. He just nodded and softly said, “If ze wants.”

Frankie wanted. Ze paused from the blowjob to beg, “Please.” Ze chuckled at zirself before getting back to it.

Frankie really missed giving Gerard blowjobs. The taste of Gerard on zir tongue, feeling him pulse at zir movements, his thighs trembling under zir fingers. Ze squeezed when he pushed up and he moaned. The sounds he made. Being second to pleasure, getting to focus all of zir attention on Gerard while zir own pleasure took the backseat. Ze loved him curling his fingers in zir hair like he was now, holding zir hair tight because he didn’t know whether he should pull zir down but he couldn’t really help trying. Ze almost forgot that they weren’t alone. But ze felt Adam’s hands on zir thighs, zir ass, then his mouth, and it was all so, so much, so good.

Adam licked into zir and fingered zir as ze worked on Gerard’s cock. Gerard’s breaths became more audible while Frankie moaned softly, working zir hips back. Gerard took turns looking between Adam and Frankie, pulling zir down when ze got too far away. It was so hot, it was overwhelming. He loved it. He smiled. He whispered Frankie’s name because he knew he was close; it’d been so long, he knew he wouldn’t last. But he held out, closing his eyes and throwing his head back and just focusing on Frankie’s amazing mouth.

He swore a minute later and came, right around the time that Adam pressed his dick into zir. Frankie pushed back harder against Adam, hand still on Gerard’s dick, milking him and lapping at his slit. It didn’t take much for Frankie either, especially once Adam was inside zir. Maybe it was the way Gerard half-chuckled, half-moaned Franke’s name, but ze reached zir hand down between zir legs and came after just a few strokes, smiling on his thigh. Adam fucked zir until ze was squealing. Then he pulled away and ze turned onto zir back to smile at Gerard.

“Whoa,” Gerard said.

“Yeah,” said Frankie.

Ze was gonna kiss him but Adam butt in and said, “Who’s gonna blow me?” Gerard immediately turned to him with huge, eager eyes, and Adam knelt at the opposite end of the couch. Frankie moved to give Gerard the opportunity to go and crawl over to Adam’s lap. Ze watched as Gerard skillfully rook Adam into his mouth, moaning, touching him, and for a moment ze felt jealous. But he was having a good time, ze told zirself. Ze was being selfish for being jealous.

“Fuck, you’re good,” Adam said, gasping as he curled his fingers into Gerard’s hair. Gerard moaned his response. He sucked him down and worked him with his hand. Frankie touched Gerard’s thighs, egging him on with little physical gestures. Gerard pulled back when Adam came, not wanting to swallow, and it occurred to him when he watched come spill onto the couch that this was probably not the first time the couch was dirtied this way.

Adam took all of five seconds to relish in afterglow before getting up and going to the closet. Gerard lied on his back. Frankie climbed on top of him and kissed him. They made out like this, naked and languid and soft and easy, until Adam started making crunching noises while eating.

“Don’t mind me, just packing a bowl,” he said, when Gerard pulled away from Frankie to look over at him. Adam was wearing underwear, at least, and Gerard suddenly thought that maybe he should be too.

“We’re naked,” he whispered to Frankie.

“I’m putting on your shirt,” Frankie said, a silent “and you can’t stop me” at the end.

They got semi-dressed and shared the bowl. They were still pretty stoned when they got back home a little while later, feeling sated and odd. Frankie kept thinking about how eagerly Gerard sucked Adam off, even when they made out in bed later and did nothing else. Ze would have to bring it up in the morning.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's been a very exciting (read: busy) few weeks for me at work and with that, on top of looking for another job and a new apartment (and omg having a social life lol), I just didn't have the time to write. So I'm gonna take a break from this for a little while just so I can get back into the groove of things and give you guys a good fic!


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello my dears.
> 
> I will be attempting to update weekly. That doesn't necessarily mean I will be updating this fic, as I do have other things I'm working on. But hopefully you'll see something from me this time next week! In the meantime, back to Gerard and Frankie...
> 
> <3

Frankie usually slept restlessly because Gerard usually slept restlessly so ze was surprised to wake up feeling totally sated and unlike ze tossed and turned. Maybe it was because ze had had a threesome the night before. Frankie covered zir mouth, trying not to laugh out loud. Ze couldn’t believe that happened. Ze wasn’t sure what ze was feeling but ze couldn’t believe it happened. Ze glanced over to zir right, expecting to see Gerard awake and reading like he normally would. He was sound asleep.

Frankie wondered again whether it was the weed or the sex that left them so restful. Ze wondered what could’ve happened differently. Ze wondered what Gerard thought about it all. Ze stared at him and stared at him, deep in thought, and eventually ze smiled. He was so cute with his mouth hanging open like that, and his pale little face brightened by the sunlight. Ze touched the streak of the sun that went across his cheeks. He sniffed and made to wipe his face, which made zir laugh.

“Hmm?” Gerard opened his eyes slowly. Frankie covered them with zir hand.

“No, shh, go back to sleep,” ze whispered.

“Whatime zit?” Gerard mumbled.

“It’s Sunday. It’s sleep time.”

Gerard dragged zir hand down to his lips and kissed zir palm. Then he grinned at zir and pulled zir down for a kiss. It had been a while since they’d woken up and just kissed each other, morning breath and all. It felt nice. When they pulled apart, Gerard just held Frankie. That felt nice too. But Frankie kept wondering and ze couldn’t keep quiet for long. Ze bit zir lip, took a few deep breaths, and went for it.

“Last night was interesting,” ze said.

Gerard took a moment to respond. “Yeah, it was fun,” he said, like they’d gone to a new bar instead of...well, a new sexual partner.

“Is that something you want more of?”

Gerard started sitting up and Frankie moaned, trying to keep him down. Eventually he slipped out from under zir. Ze looked up at him, trying to keep a serious face that didn’t also look worried. “What do you mean?”

“You know, to be with other people,” ze elaborated, zir voice teeny tiny. “Because I’m totally cool with it.”

“What?”

“I don’t want you to feel like I’m…” Frankie frowned, not liking that ze couldn’t read Gerard’s expression. Ze thought about marrying Gerard. About him not liking that idea. “You don't have to feel tied down,” ze finished.

Ze wasn’t even sure if this was something ze wanted but it was too late. It was out there. If it was something Gerard wanted and Frankie could grin and bear it, ze would. Ze loved him and ze would do anything to make him happy. Even share him.

“In the almost 2 years we’ve been together, have I ever said I felt that way?” he asked, his tone and expression finally readable: shock, maybe even disgust. Frankie’s eyes widened. Ze shrugged. When Gerard folded his arms, ze amended zir response and shook zir head. He slid down to zir level again. “Last night was interesting and fun and different. But I don’t ever need a repeat. I just wanna be with you.”

“Okay.”

Gerard stroked zir cheek and ze smiled a little. He couldn’t believe that ze thought that. He had kind of hoped that they’d chalk up their threesome to just something they did stoned, like when college students do dumb stuff at parties that they wouldn’t do otherwise. Wait, was it a threesome? Whoa. He’d had a threesome. And Frankie was really into it. Maybe ze was projecting. Maybe it was something ze wanted.

“For the record, I’m totally cool with this monogamy thing too,” ze whispered. “We can have another threesome if you’re interested, though.”

Ze was joking. They were joking now. Gerard tried to relax. “Anyone you have in mind?” he asked.

“You know my regular Hayley? She would totally be down but she just got married so it might be a little difficult.”

“I don’t know, Chad seems like a cool guy.”

Frankie laughed. In that moment, ze looked so beautiful that Gerard couldn’t help but pull zir into a kiss. They were naked under the sheets, because they’d gone home in each other’s clothes and stripped down nude before bed. Gerard pulled zir up on top of him and their playful kiss turned steady, deep. Frankie moved zir hips against him. It was strange; he could feel zir, he knew ze could feel him, he knew they had everything they needed just to be a little closer. But whatever drove him the night before to jump at the chance to get Adam off had mostly dissipated. He just wanted to hold zir and be held. Maybe a little something but not what ze would want.

“Okay, you’re kissing me like you have a monologue going on in your head,” Frankie said as ze pulled away. “What’s up?”

Gerard frowned a little. “I’m sor-”

Frankie kissed him as an interruption. “You ain’t done nothin’ wrong.”

They stared at each other, eyes slowly narrowing, then laughed. Frankie kissed his chest. He dragged his fingers down zir back and ze hummed.

“Can we start slow?” he whispered. “Can we do all handsies?”

“I’ll touch you anyway you want,” Frankie whispered, kissing lower.

“Good.” Gerard finally relaxed fully into the mattress. “Good…”

 

Gerard thought about that morning every day through the next Thursday afternoon on his way to New Jersey. He worked extra hours the other days of the week to make up for the hours he missed on Thursdays. He knew Frankie got annoyed last time he was late to pick zir up from the shop but ze couldn’t tell zir what he was doing. He could say he was working overtime on his TV show. And, well, he was. But not on Thursdays. That would be a lie.

“Why do you think you feel so ashamed of telling Frankie that you’re willing to lie?” Afdal asked.

“Is that really the kind of loaded question we want to tackle with two minutes left of our session?” Gerard snapped back.

“I’m just wondering…” Afdal leaned back in his chair. “You had a lovely time Sunday morning. You seem to communicate well otherwise. Why do you feel you have to hide this from Frankie?”

Afdal always said Frankie’s name instead of zir pronouns because he couldn’t wrap his head around it, not with his accent. That’s what he claimed, anyway. It was kind of problematic because they spoke about Frankie a lot these days but Gerard let it slide. It wasn’t his job to educate Afdal, it was Afdal’s job to treat him.

“A lovely time?” Gerard repeated. “I’m still...having trouble with sex. How is that a lovely time?”

Afdal shook his head. “You know what I’m going to say.”

Gerard let out a gruff sigh and said in a mocking tone, “Any progress is good progress, blah blah.”

Afdal’s clinic was a few towns over from where Gerard grew up. This is where he was going on Thursdays: to therapy. Gerard was picky when it came to therapists and there was a diner nearby that his mom used to take him to. It was really the only option for him to get out of this funk, or whatever it should be called.

Afdal walked Gerard out to the waiting area, where Donna was reading a magazine. She held a hand up to Gerard, who stood there and waited. Afdal pat his shoulder and welcomed another client to join him down the hall.

“Done!” Donna shot up to her feet, startling Gerard a little. She chuckled and hooked her arm in his. “Pancakes?”

“Yeah,” Gerard said. Back to the diner with mom again. Even though that would make him get to Frankie late. He always needed time to think after these visits.

So he followed her to the diner and they shared a large plate of pancakes, which Gerard always ate most of. They talked about the holidays and how Gerard and Frankie would have to spend them with the Ways because Frankie was estranged from zir family. They talked about work and how stressful it was for both of them. They talked about how Gerard still hadn’t told Frankie that this was what he was doing. Gerard felt dizzy.

It wasn’t the most helpful therapy session to date and he couldn’t believe that one day smoking brought him closer to Frankie than secretly going to Jersey for therapy for weeks ever did. It was also more fun. Donna was going on and on about town gossip, always keeping the subject around couples that kept things from each other, and Gerard made a decision. He couldn’t be here again, being driven to therapy by his mother and then getting pancakes. He set his fork down in a decisive manner that made Donna’s chatter stop.

“I’d rather do this alone from now on if that’s okay,” Gerard said. 

They were quiet as Donna finished her bite, which took her longer because she was mulling over what Gerard had said. He knew her well enough to know that was what she was doing. He also knew himself well enough that another afternoon like this with his mom would drive him up the wall. He didn’t need her guilt-tripping him about Frankie. He had Bert and Mikey for that.

“Well, you’re an adult so…” she decided. “It has been nice seeing you all the time.”

“Yeah. It has.”

Gerard smiled and offered a hand to her. She gave it a squeeze. He hated thinking that he was going to start lying to her too.


	13. Chapter 13

Gerard was late again. Another Thursday, another evening Frankie threw zirself on the couch and waited for him. Not one call or text except for the text around 5:30pm saying ‘I'm on my way!’ It was 6:30. Gerard worked less than a mile away. This was ridiculous. Frankie started pacing.

Ray walked a client out, swerving around Frankie’s route, then turned on his heel to stare at zir. “You okay, there?” he asked.

“Bob hasn’t been at work lately, what the hell?” Frankie snapped, trying to throw zir frustration into something else. At someone else. “We’ve been getting half the clients and that dipshit isn’t keeping our schedules and I’m mad at my boyfriend but what if he’s hurt?” Ze gasped when the possibility dawned on zir and stopped in the middle of the room. “Oh my god, he’s hurt. Ray! He’s hurt!”

“Whoa, there…” Ray guided Frankie to sit on the couch. “What happened?”

“Gerard is super late again and I haven’t called him on principle but what if something’s wrong?”

Ze felt like a total mess. Ze hadn’t been very busy all day so ze’d spent a lot of time looking forward to Gerard picking zir up and zir last client, Sir Complains A Lot, just bummed zir out with his notproblems and ze was exhausted.

“Okay, I’m gonna make tea,” Ray said. “And we’re going to talk calmly. Yeah?”

Frankie nodded and slumped a little. Ray had had the genius idea to buy an electric kettle for their little kitchen area. They had cups and tea and sugar ready for just this sort of thing. Ray filled up the kettle, turned it on, and plopped down on the couch.

“Head on my lap,” Ray said.

Frankie narrowed zir eyes. “What?”

Ray pat his thigh twice and smiled. Frankie rolled zir eyes and crossed zir arms. Then ze sort of slithered over to rest zir head on his lap. He started combing his fingers through zir hair, which was getting kind of long.

“Gerard’s normally way more communicative,” Frankie said. “He’d tell me when he’s down the block. He won’t even tell me why he’s late. Until he gets here, when I’ll get mad and be the irrational one and feel bad. I don’t think he’s doing it on purpose, but…”

“I can imagine that, on top of not having sex, can be tough,” Ray murmured, nodding.

“Jamia told you.”

“She really can’t keep secrets.”

Frankie sat up again. “I really don’t mind that. He’s been… I feel…” Ze looked at zir hands. “Our relationship feels like a chore because of how he’s acting and I don’t understand how to fix it.”

“You can’t fix it on your own, the same way Gerard didn’t break it on his own,” Ray said.

Frankie leaned on him again. “Why are you so reasonable?”

“I have four brothers. One of us needed to reason.”

The door shot open very suddenly and Frankie jumped practically into Ray’s lap. Frankie stood up, arms folded again, and just stared Gerard down. Ze gave zir signature Mean Look, the soul-wrenching expression ze gave to zir mother whenever she insulted zir. Gerard was out of breath and frowning, clearly worried. Ray stepped over silently to the kettle.

“Earl Gray or Lemon Zinger?” he quipped.

“Are you going to explain?” Frankie said.

“I’m sorry,” Gerard said softly, stepping forward nice and slow like approaching a dangerous wild animal.

“I’ll guess,” said Ray.

“You’re apologizing for a lot lately,” Frankie shot back at Gerard.

Ze wasn’t sure zirself what ze would do when Gerard approached zir but ze didn’t need to find out yet, apparently. Gerard stopped dead in his tracks. His eyebrows turned down.

“The last thing I apologized for was not wanting to have sex with you,” Gerard said, forceful yet still soft.

“You know what?” said Ray. “I’ll go drink this in my room, you two can make your own tea.”

Frankie waited for the door to Ray’s room to shut before speaking. “That’s not what I meant and you know it,” ze said. “Why the hell are you so late? Where were you?”

“At work!” Gerard snapped. If Frankie didn’t know better, ze’d say he was sounding defensive. “At my job that I finally like now. I never got angry with you when you stayed out here until midnight to take on the drunk-and-stupid crowd.”

Frankie’s jaw fell open. How could he think that ze stayed late just to give tattoos to drunk people? That was…only part of it.

“I’ve been leaving early for you,” ze said. “I was waiting here, after finishing work early, for you.”

Gerard stared at zir a little sadly and for a moment ze felt bad. But then ze felt even angrier. He was the one that was late and now he was using his hurt puppy dog face like that was going to do something. Worse, he look defeated. Like he’d just had a long, hard day and someone slapped him in the face. Well, Frankie’s day wasn’t a piece of cake either. Frankie waited for him to say something, zir comeback ready to go. But he just scratched the back of his head.

“I’m gonna take a cab home,” he said weakly. “You do whatever you want.”

Frankie really didn’t know what to do with that. Ze watched him leave the shop and ze didn’t know what to do. Ze half expected Gerard to walk back in, or for zir own feet to push zir to go after him. Ze would grab his arm, make him look at zir, apologize and receive an apology in return. Then they’d kiss and make up and be on their way home. But none of that happened. Ze just stood there, feeling confused and as defeated as Gerard had looked before. Ze made some tea and sat down at the desk to make zirself useful for a little while.

 

Frankie wasn’t surprised to find Gerard on the couch a couple hours later. He was watching some cartoon and eating chips. He looked happy in a soft way, not amused by the TV show but smiling absentmindedly. It was weird. Frankie sat on the floor by his legs.

“Hey,” ze said.

“I’m sorry, too,” he said.

Frankie smiled a little. Ze pat his thigh, which made him jerk away. Frankie stared at him. He kept staring at the screen as if his body hadn’t just rejected zir touch. There was something heavy behind zir eyes and in zir chest. It had been there a while. Ze understood it now. It felt silly but it also hurt and ze couldn’t just keep shut about it now.

“Are you attracted to me?” ze asked.

“Yeah. Of course,” Gerard spoke lazily, almost slurred. It was as if he didn’t care about zir feelings at all.

“Do you wanna be with me?”

“Don’t be ridiculous.”

“I’m not being…”

He wasn’t trying to be mean, and Frankie could tell by his amused tone. He actually sat up on the couch and turned down the TV. But the amusement was so disrespectful and struck Frankie so hard that ze couldn’t even look at him anymore. On one hand, this was good. Ze didn’t see how Gerard struggled to stand up, or how his eyes drooped even when he wasn’t staring at the screen, or how it was clearly difficult for him to do anything but to smile. Ze couldn’t tell that he was stoned. On the other hand, ze pulled zir hand away when Gerard reached for it. They were definitely in fight #2 of the evening.

“As a matter of fact?” Frankie stood up and stormed out of the room. Gerard stared at the ceiling. “I haven’t slept over at my best friend’s place in a while and I prefer her to you right now.”

“You do that because you know it hurts me,” Gerard thought. Out loud. By accident.

“Excuse me?!” Frankie shouted from the other room.

Well, Gerard couldn’t back out now. He didn’t really care that much right now, anyway. “You say shit like that,” he explained, still sounding amused. “‘I don’t like you right now.’ You know I hate how fickle you are so you use it against me when we fight.”

Gerard practically fell off the couch when Frankie kicked the back of it. He really hadn’t expected that. “You stood me up! Again! For no reason!” Ze kicked the couch again and Gerard heard a zipper closing. “You didn’t call, you didn’t text. I feel like shit!” Gerard stared at his lap when Frankie came around to his side of the couch again. “I was scared and worried and now you’re making me feel insecure?! Fine!” Frankie stormed to the front door, overstuffed backpack hanging off one shoulder. “I’M fickle and YOU hurt me. We’re even!”

Frankie slammed the door shut and didn’t even bother locking it. Gerard sat staring at his lap for a little while, feeling guilty and ashamed and generally awful. Then he got up, locked the door, and went to the bedroom. One of Frankie’s drawers was wide open, as was zir closet. He closed them. Then he paced for a minute and thought, what the hell? It was already a shitty night. He went to the back of his sock drawer and took out a little ziploc baggie full of little, round white tablets. He took another and waited.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Uh-oh.
> 
> I'm sorry for the lack of updates. I'll be updating once more in the next few days, to make up for it. Happy graduation, class of 2016!


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Second update this week! Make sure you read the previous chapter.
> 
> <3

‘nah, dude, take em when ur already in a good mood so the good mood stays. don’t take em when ur fighting with ya boo. sry u had a rough night’

‘And a rough morning,’ Gerard texted Bert back. He sat by the toilet after throwing up, sweating head against the wall. So maybe he was stoned when he fought with Frankie last night. And maybe it hadn’t been very nice to his stomach. But he was going to make it right. As soon as he didn’t feel completely sick.

‘yo. ginger ale it up and get zir chocolate. u said ze was a fiend for chocolate right?’

Gerard laughed at the text. Talking to Bert made him feel better. Bert was the only friend he had that wasn’t also Frankie’s friend so it was easy to let everything go on him. Bert was also the only one that knew he’d secretly gotten stoned so he could at least understand Gerard’s strange behavior. Gerard had bought the pills from Bert as a kind of insurance, for when he needed a night off from the world. He should’ve known better than to take them right after getting into an argument with Frankie. He’d had a rough day, sure, deciding he would stop going to therapy and start lying to his mom about it. But he shouldn’t have… There were so many things he shouldn’t have.

He couldn’t think too hard about it now. What he needed was to apologize hard to Frankie.

‘Thanks for the advice,’ he texted Bert, then got up to shower.

A few hours later, Gerard was in uptown Manhattan with a bouquet waiting for Frankie on a bench.

Frankie was taking a business class at the City College of New York. Ze wanted the universe to know that ze was serious about zir business. Unfortunately, zir final for the class was the day after zir big fight with Gerard. Ze wanted to curl up in Jamia’s lap and be spoonfed ice cream, not sit in a stuffy classroom with teeny freshmen and feel like a total loser that was probably going to fail at everything. Not to mention that Frankie woke up feeling so disoriented with zir body that the clothing ze’d packed and anything ze could borrow from Jamia felt wrong. In short, the test sucked and Frankie wasn’t very happy when ze left the building. Ze was even less happy when ze saw Gerard jump up from a bench and walk over to zir. Frankie folded zir arms and glared at him.

“Hello,” Gerard said cheerily, offering Frankie a bouquet.

“Flowers?” ze said. “Do you really think anything this conventional is gonna work on me?”

“They’re chocolate.”

Gerard showed Frankie the “flowers” and they were, in fact, multi-colored chocolate flowers wrapped in plastic and on sticks. Where Gerard found these on such short notice was beyond zir. Ze needed to give him credit for the effort.

“Fine,” Frankie said. Ze snatched the flowers from him and looked around. “Let’s go this way.”

They started walking. Frankie had really expected there to be more tension between them, and ze wasn’t going to pretend ze wasn’t pissed, but a small part of zir really missed Gerard and his sweet gesture really got to zir. Ze unwrapped one of the chocolates, this one pink, and started licking it like a lollipop.

“My show is really taking off and that's scary,” Gerard began, unprompted. He sounded nervous, his words clearly rehearsed. “I guess I was in a bad mood after work last night. There’s just a lot going on. I'm sorry. You know I didn’t mean any of the mean things I said, right?”

Frankie licked away at zir chocolate lollipop. Ze took an abrupt, quick left turn at a corner and Gerard swerved to keep up.

“That’s why you've been late the past few Thursdays?” ze asked.

“Yeah,” he said. “M-my director...really busy guy. We had a half hour long meeting after work that turns into a 2 hour one. Sounds ridiculous, I know. I-I should’ve said something sooner?”

Something was off. Frankie couldn’t put zir finger on it. He seemed way too nervous, almost like he was still doing something wrong by explaining himself. But Frankie couldn't fret on that detail for too long. Ze was already basically not mad anymore and ze was excited to hear about his show.

It took Gerard entirely by surprise when Frankie hugged him. He hadn’t thought his lying was very good; he was always pretty honest with Frankie. But after the fight last night, and after his decision to stop therapy, he could not open the can of worms that was his going to therapy in the first place. Especially since that was promptly followed by a weird decision to just hang out with Bert instead and save some money. Besides, it would all be fine in the long run. Frankie didn’t need to know what would soon be irrelevant. Right?

Gerard squeezed Frankie back, still deep in thought. “I don’t know why this is happening but I like it,” he said.

Frankie hit his arm with the flowers as ze stepped back. Ze was smiling. Gerard had never felt such relief. Ze clearly hated being in a fight as much as he did. “I'm happy for you!” ze said. “Excited! Your show is really taking off?”

That part wasn’t a whole lie. Things were really in motion; it looked like it was really going to happen for Gerard. So he was back to being his old, happy self when he grinned and nodded profusely.

“When I get back from work, we're gonna go home and make celebratory bacon mac and cheese,” Frankie declared. Gerard loved the sound of that. Ze grabbed Gerard’s hand and led them to the subway.

“I'm sorry too,” ze said softly. “For saying mean things without even noticing.”

Gerard kissed the back of zir hand. “It’s okay.”

That went way better than expected. Frankie took the flowers with zir to work. Gerard went home and popped a pill while he was on an emotional high, just like Bert said he should. And by the time Frankie got home, he was totally relaxed enough to cuddle with zir and flirt and make out with zir and touch. He was never fully high by the time it came down to sticking their hands down each other’s pants but he definitely felt closer to zir that night because his body had been so relaxed the rest of the evening. He took another pill after the orgasm and had the best sleep ever.


	15. Chapter 15

Things went similarly for the next week and Frankie, of course, told Jamia everything. Zir perspective was a little different, though.

“But things have been better, right?” Jamia asked. “I mean, you guys are totally getting it on more.”

“Yeah,” Frankie said. They were standing just outside the store for Jamia’s smoke break and Frankie was aching for a cigarette because, despite zir goofy smile that said ‘Heck yeah, we're getting it on more,’ there was a suspicious feeling in zir chest.

Jamia took Frankie’s expression at face value and wiggled her eyebrows. She tapped Frankie’s foot and wiggled her body. Frankie rolled zir eyes.

“It’s nice but it’s different,” Frankie said. “Like I’m making out with a different person. I don’t know. He’s not back to his old self, he’s a sloppier version of his old self.”

“I wish a had a sloppy boyfriend to finger me at night,” Jamia grumbled.

Frankie gave zir a blank look and walked back into the shop. Jamia laughed and put her cigarette out on the window.

It was good things were “looking up” with Gerard because the tattoo shop had seen better times. Bob was out sick after a trip to Chicago, so the Gents had to take turns manning the front desk which wasn't hard with their schedules. They barely had clients and it was probably due in part to all the bad press they were getting in online reviews. Whatever. Gerard was there and things were okay. Even despite the weird phone call from Mikey.

“Hey Frankie,” Mikey said, not sounding as loud and happy as he usually did.

“Hey Mikey,” said Frankie. Ze was cleaning zir table for the millionth time, ze was so bored. “Did Gerard’s phone die again? I’m at the shop and he’s not here.”

“No, I’m calling for you,” Mikey clarified. “Hi.”

“Oh?”

“I’ve been a bad brother because of my own relationship stuff and because of college and I just wanted to make sure he was okay.”

Frankie lied down on zir chair, suddenly very interested in this conversation. “You noticed something off too?” ze asked. Finally some validation.

“I guess you can say that… Has he mentioned anything?”

“I don't know, he seemed depressed? But he's been better lately...”

“Better how?”

Now even Mikey sounded suspicious. Frankie sat up and stared at one of zir pictures on the wall. Ze wasn’t sure how to describe Gerard’s change. That fight they’d had last week, he seemed so blasé about Frankie’s feelings. But every night since then he’s incited physical contact, almost slurring how much he wanted zir. Which in itself was weird. He still woke up and zombied around the house in the morning. But when they met each other after work he seemed so genuinely happy to be doing what he does, to sit and have dinner with Frankie, to hold zir hand, to get a little frisky under the sheets. It was different. And, Frankie supposed, in some ways better.

“I don't know,” ze said. “Happy. Productive. Even though...he was a little off for a while, and he's still acting kind of weird? I don’t know, maybe it's me. Things have been really stressful.

Mikey took a deep breath. He hummed. Frankie bit zir nails and waited. Maybe Mikey knew what was going on because Frankie sure as hell didn’t. Anything to help zir figure out what was going on with Gerard would be a godsend.

“When he stresses too much, he plays it cool when he's actually freaking out,” Mikey explained. “Have you talked about it with him? His weird behavior?”

“Mikey, what do you know?” Frankie asked, finally, because ze was starting to feel like ze was playing cat and mouse with whatever was going on with Gerard. And ze wasn’t even sure whether ze was the cat or the mouse.

“He really should tell you,” Mikey said. “And I'll talk to him soon too.”

“Okay,” Frankie said. “You know, I really wish you Ways would stop being cryptic.”

Mikey laughed. “It’s part of our charm.”

 

Saturday morning, Gerard ran to the bathroom to throw up. He woke up with the sudden alarming urge and his whole body convulsed with his stomach contents when he shot up in bed. Frankie stirred, confused, and murmured something before Gerard made a beeline to the toilet. He didn’t even get the chance to put the toilet seat up.

“Baby?” Frankie said from the other side of the door. “Are you okay?”

He really wasn’t. He knelt on the tiled floor shivering and aching, and the world was a little fuzzy at the edges. This was vicodin withdrawal. He’d done too much last night without even noticing.

“’M fine,” Gerard replied, his lie ready. “I got up for a late snack a few hours ago. Must’ve gone down wrong.”

“Aw, no.”

Frankie sounded so concerned and so sleepy. Gerard flushed the toilet and opened the door to give zir pouting face a smile before washing up.

“Well, since I’m awake now…” Frankie said. Gerard saw zir stretching behind him in the mirror. Ze draped zir arms around his waist. “Want me to make you tea?”

Gerard turned in zir arms and kissed zir forehead. “Yes please.”

A short while later, they were sitting yawning on the couch in their pajamas sipping ginger tea. Frankie’s pajamas consisted of a pair of underwear and one of Gerard’s oversized shirts. Ze looked incredibly sexy. It’d been awhile since Gerard found Frankie sexy, and it was a nice feeling. He wasn’t sure whether it was last night’s high or the tea hitting the spot but he was really peaceful.

Frankie was really not. Ze kept thinking about that phone call with Mikey and how to even start this conversation with Gerard. Ze was glad ze had put it off until Saturday morning, while they drank tea quietly and tangled their legs together. It was as good a time as ever.

“Speaking of…being sick…” Frankie started, even though they hadn’t spoken for a good ten minutes.

Gerard’s eyes widened with concern. “Are you okay?” he asked.

Frankie rubbed his calf with zir toes and nodded. “I was actually wondering if you were. I thought maybe you were depressed? I-I should’ve said something sooner, I just didn’t know how to bring it up.”

There it was. It was in the air. At once, that air grew tense; Frankie felt it in Gerard’s leg muscles tightening. This topic of conversation had been waiting a long time to be mentioned by one of them and now that it had been, whatever odd calm there was between them in the past couple weeks threatened to dissipate. Frankie didn’t want that, ze didn’t want Gerard’s new mood and Frankie’s confusion to turn into another bad time for them. Ze was sick of fighting. So ze was ready to backtrack and save it. But Gerard brushed his feet on Frankie’s hip, his eyes turning pensive, and he took a deep breath before speaking.

“I guess I was a little depressed,” he admitted, voice soft and eyes avoiding Frankie’s. The confirmation made Frankie ache. “I guess there’s still some of that going on. And maybe that’s why…things have been difficult?” He finally met zir eyes, which were clouded with concern. “But I promise you, I’m on an upswing.”

“I didn’t know,” Frankie murmured, more to zirself than to him. “I’m sorry I got angry and selfish instead of…trying to figure out what you were going through.”

“Hey. Don’t worry about it. Neither of us handled it well.”

Gerard put his tea cup on the coffee table and Frankie did the same, expecting and fully wanting the hug. He climbed over zir and hugged zir tightly, warm and reassuring. Gerard’s words felt so final, and Frankie already felt better, but it didn’t seem right for that conversation to have been so short. Ze squeezed him.

“Is that all?” Frankie asked.

Gerard nuzzled zir neck, kissed it, hummed against zir warm skin. “What else would there be?” he whispered.

“I don't know, your brother seemed pretty suspicious of your turnaround.”

Gerard stiffened. He pulled back to look into Frankie’s eyes. Frankie could tell by the subtle frown that ze’d hit a nerve, though ze wasn’t sure why anything Mikey said would. Frankie raised zir brows at him, quickly worried again. Gerard kissed zir forehead and let his mouth linger there.

“I’m getting better,” he insisted, his voice soft, almost unsure.

“Okay,” Frankie said, figuring ze’d go along with it. Ze had no idea what he was going through and ze didn’t want to push it but at least it was out in the open. “Let me know if there’s anything I can do.”

“You could jump my bones,” Gerard suggested sheepishly. He grinned when Frankie playfully smacked his arm.

“Shut up.”

“Seriously! I was thinking about you all day yesterday. I popped a boner in the middle of a meeting.”

Frankie’s eyebrows shot up. Ze slid one of zir hands between them, zir eyes never leaving Gerard’s eyes. Gerard let out a shaky breath when ze cupped him through his boxer briefs. He was only wearing that and a t-shirt.

“You sure?” Frankie whispered.

Gerard responded by moving against zir hand and leaning down to kiss zir neck. It didn't take long for Gerard to get interested and Frankie was right there with him. It got warmer between them. Frankie closed zir eyes.

“You know that drawer in the coffee table we don’t use?” Gerard whispered, nibbling lightly at zir skin. 

“Yeah?” Frankie breathed.

“I put condoms and lube in it.”

Frankie let out a startled laugh. Gerard covered zir laugh with his lips and lied down flush against zir. They kissed with more need between them than they’d felt in weeks, maybe months. It was really happening.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi hi.
> 
> I hate to be one of those writers that updates randomly but I don't see myself being able to develop a routine any time soon. But don't worry! I'm definitely not abandoning this story. I love the characters too much.
> 
> <3


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ;)
> 
> <3

Gerard thought he’d be more nervous but he was actually really excited. He’d maybe been working up the courage to fuck zir again for a few days, since he’d slowly started getting his libido back, and this sexy Saturday morning seemed as good a time as ever to jump right into it. Frankie was hot and he missed zir.

Their hips felt good and natural moving against each other, their hands eagerly under their shirts and on their thighs. They kissed minutely, lips light and lingering. Finally, Gerard slipped his fingers into Frankie’s panties and pulled them down, moving away to get them completely off. Frankie reached over for that drawer in the coffee table.

“You really were expecting us to have couch sex at one point?” Frankie said, getting some lube on zir fingers.

“We almost did, one time,” Gerard said sheepishly. He pressed his hands into zir hips. He liked touching zir like this, feeling zir and looking at zir. “Wanted to...be prepared.”

Frankie chuckled. Ze worked a finger into zirself and handed Gerard the lube. Gerard watched a moment, his fingers high inside zir thighs making zir squirm just as much as zir own were. Then he leaned down, pressed a finger into zir, and ze gasped as they both fingered zir. Gerard watched zir face closely, the way zir mouth kind of fell open and zir eyelids fluttered. He removed his finger to get the condom on and so, so slowly pressed his dick against zir.

Zir chest rose and fell sharply. Ze braced zirself, pressing zir thigh up against his hip and zir hands gripping his shoulders. Ze moaned, long and low, as he moved into zir. He buried his face into zir neck and kissed zir as he started moving, his hands up on the armrest. He moaned zir name, totally overwhelmed by this somehow both familiar and novel heat of zir. Ze moved zir hips up to meet him, felt his shoulders tense as he used the armrest for leverage. The slide was smooth and Gerard panted.

Frankie had no idea what triggered it but their passive, slow fuck made a 180 when Gerard reached for Frankie’s thighs and pushed zir knees back against zir chest. Ze moaned in surprise as he held zir up and moved faster in and out of zir. He kissed zir frantically, his hands on zir thighs a delicious sort of ache, and ze moaned against his lips. Ze loved when he took control like that, just held zir down and worked into zir over and over. Loved the way their moans got lost between each other’s mouths.

Gerard fucked zir deep, buried in zir, slower and longer thrusts. Once, twice, and again, each thrust punctuated by a weak moan which Frankie swallowed in a rough kiss. He was so fucking close and he knew ze wasn’t there with him, but ze encouraged him, squeezed around him, begged, “Come on, baby, let me see you come.” It wasn’t long after that he stilled, deep inside zir, and body tensing up. Frankie moaned softly and kissed his throat as he came. They took short, labored breaths together for a few seconds, sweaty and fucking strung out.

Frankie threw zir head back when Gerard moved out of zir. He set the condom aside and pressed two fingers into zir almost immediately, sliding down the couch to get his mouth on zir. Frankie gasped and curled a hand into his hair right away, reaching the other back to hold the armrest. Gerard’s fingers moved deep and slow at first as he teased zir with little kisses and licks. He let zir guide him, taking the cue to indulge zir with his mouth when ze tugged him down hard. He moved his fingers faster when ze rose zir hips to meet them, encouraged by the sounds ze made and the way ze moved.

“I’m gonna come,” ze moaned, panting, moving with Gerard. A moment later, ze whined and repeated, zir voice weaker now as Gerard moved more decidedly, “’M gonna come… Gon’ come.”

“You keep saying that and it’s not happening,” Gerard teased, taking a moment to kiss zir hip. He chuckled when ze groaned and pulled him down on zir again. He crooked his fingers into zir, added another, kept them inside zir and moved them as fast as he could. Frankie let out a loud, startled moan and doubled over as ze came. Gerard slowed, eased zir down, and Frankie fell back. Ze hummed, sounding so pleased, and covered zir eyes with zir free arm. Ze smiled at the ceiling.

“I think I died a little,” ze murmured. Gerard kissed zir neck and zir jaw, his hands rubbing down zir thighs.

“ _C’est la petite mort_ ,” Gerard said. It was incredibly sexy but really all ze wanted was to make out now.

“Don’t French to me right now, I don’t even understand English,” Frankie said. Ze held his face in zir hands and pulled him down for a kiss. They made out languidly, all out of energy but still so intensely needing each other. After a moment, Gerard just lied on top of zir. Frankie played with his hair.

“Sorry that took so long,” Gerard said. He felt a little guilty, sure, but mostly he was happy, listening to Frankie’s heart against his ear and feeling zir all warm and sweaty against him.

“Worth the wait,” Frankie insisted. “Wanna go shower?”

Gerard got up on his knees and stretched his arms back. Frankie smiled up at him, zir fingertips on his thighs. He tore off his t-shirt and dropped it on zir face. Then ze heard him scramble away, presumably toward the bathroom. Frankie tossed the shirt aside then took off zir own and followed him.

Gerard was already under the stream when Frankie tiptoed into the shower with him. Ze wrapped zir arms around him and kissed his shoulders. Gerard hummed. They took turns getting under the water, helped each other wash their hair (which was disastrous for Gerard’s eyes but he got Frankie back by pinching zir ass). They kept touching each other, like there was some sexual tension that had built up and they didn’t even notice until they’d finally fucked again.

It happened naturally that Gerard pressed against Frankie and slid his hands down zir sides to zir hips. Ze threw zir head back against his shoulder, out of the stream of the water, as Gerard’s hands lowered. Ze could feel him getting hard again and ze was definitely interested too. His fingers moved on zir with practiced ease and familiarity. Eventually ze started panting. Ze moved zir hands over his and worked zir hips up against them, finally moaning when Gerard kissed zir neck.

“Hey,” Frankie rasped.

“Hi,” Gerard said, a smile in his voice.

Frankie bit back zir huge grin. Ze was way too turned on. “W-we’re supposed to be showering.”

“I missed you.”

Gerard brushed his lips along Frankie’s ear. He nibbled lightly on the lobe. Frankie pulled away carefully and bent over, ass high as the water cascaded over zir back. Ze held zirself up with zir hands against the tiled shower wall.

“Really?” Gerard said, already moving his fingers into zir.

“Yeah, come on.”

Frankie wiggled zir hips. Gerard placed his hand on the small of zir back. Ze felt his dick against zir ass but he kept fingering zir. Frankie panted, moving zir hips back against his hand as he added more fingers. With the water falling on zir and his hand working into zir, ze felt amazing. Zir arms trembled to keep zir at this angle. Ze spread zir legs a little more and made a weak, pleased sound. Definitely better.

Gerard slipped his fingers out and quickly replaced them with his cock. Frankie whined and pressed back hard against him. Ze was already close and the way Gerard grasped zir hips and fucked zir fast was definitely too much. He probably did this whole show so that he wouldn’t come inside zir. Whatever the reason, ze loved it.

“So good,” Frankie gasped. “So fucking good, baby.”

“Yeah?” Gerard grunted.

“Yeah, fuck yeah.”

Gerard reached a hand around and Frankie’s legs started to give when he touched zir, ze was so far gone. Gerard wrapped an arm around zir waist and hoisted zir up, turning zir to face the other wall. Ze stood there with zir forearms against the tile, a little shocked at the sudden movement but definitely not complaining. Gerard angled his thrusts up into zir, still working his hand on zir, whilst Frankie got up on zir tiptoes to make up the difference. Every muscle in zir body was taut, everything Gerard had done to zir teetering zir over the edge. Zir forehead pressed against the tile and zir mouth hung open as ze continued to let out long, desperate moans. Gerard bit zir shoulder and that was finally enough to make zir come, a string of moans and swears escaping zir mouth as ze fell limp in his arms.

“Fuck,” Frankie whined, tremors rolling over zir body when he pulled out of zir. “Fucking wow…”

“I didn’t slam you too hard against the wall, did I?” Gerard asked. He held zir up, kissing zir shoulder, pressing his still-hard dick against zir hip.

“Nuh-uh. No, that was super hot. That was...some superhero fuckin’.”

Gerard’s little chuckle turned into a moan when Frankie reached zir hand back to his dick. Ze turned on zir wobbly legs then dropped to zir knees, already ravaging his dick with zir tongue. He stumbled back and settled for getting a hand on a railing and combing the other through Frankie’s hair. Ze licked and mouthed along his length then sucked on the head. Ze kept zir hands busy stroking his length, and massaging that sensitive spot behind Gerard’s balls.

“You look so good with my cock in your mouth,” Gerard moaned. He knew it was corny but he meant it 100%.

“You keep talking like that, I might need you to fuck me again,” Frankie said, before finally taking him into his mouth.

“So showering was a- mmm. A total waste?”

Frankie’s response was a low hum, which made Gerard swear, which made Frankie laugh. Ze pulled away to grin at him, tongue at his slit, watching him watch zir. Then ze sunk down again, this time taking him down zir throat. Gerard moaned sharply as ze swallowed around him. Ze moved away just a moment to breathe then deep throated him again. Gerard panted as zir lips moved up and down his length, zir tongue working on the underside as well. He came the next time ze deep throated him and held zir down, panting as he shot straight down zir throat.

Gerard took a step back and Frankie leaned back under the stream of water, smiling up proudly at him. He went down on his knees to kiss zir and ze kissed back softly, obviously exhausted.

“That was so much fun,” Gerard said, which came out kind of garbled because of the water.

“Yeah,” said Frankie, giggling.

They finally got out of the shower and got dressed. It was cold out and they were fucked out so they decided it’d be a lazy day at home. They sat at the dining table. Frankie worked on a piece for a client while Gerard looked through some things for his show. They played footsies.

Gerard remembered the conversation he’d had with Bert a couple days ago, about finally feeling good and ready to have sex again, and decided to text him about his excellent morning.

‘We finally fucked. And, like, a lot.’

Bert replied right away. ‘FUCK YES.’

Gerard laughed and blushed at his phone.

“Who ya textin’?” Frankie asked, looking up over zir sketchbook.

“Uh, Bert,” Gerard said uneasily.

“Tell him I say hi!”

Gerard did. Bert took a little longer to reply this time, and said, ‘Does ze know how lucky ze is to have you?’

Gerard put his phone aside and tried not to think about it. He looked at Frankie guiltily, though ze was too engrossed in zir drawing to notice. He really never knew how to respond to Bert’s flirting. He would think of something later.


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Update 1/2 this week.

It was shortly after the New Year when everyone agreed to meet up at Three Gents and go to the hip new bar down the street for happy hour. “Everyone” including the Gents, Pete, Mikey, and Bert. The only person who hadn’t shown up was Bob, which was fine because they closed the shop early but Jamia was furious. She suggested the bar as a way to unwind. It was getting pretty clear that something was up with Bob.

Gerard had invited Bert at Frankie’s insistence; it was a good opportunity for him to tag along and acquaint himself with Gerard’s other friends. Gerard raved about Bert once he got to the shop, sitting next to Frankie on the couch.

“I’m glad I’m finally meeting him,” said Frankie. Ze was painting zir nails like ze did every Tuesday afternoon. This week the color was orange. “You talk about him like he’s an old friend of yours.”

“It feels that way,” Gerard admitted. He had a happy, dreamy look in his eyes that Frankie didn’t know was because he was stoned. “He’s a cool guy, you’d like him.”

“I do like anyone you like.”

Frankie kissed his cheek and rubbed the back of his hand. Gerard offered zir a goofy grin and continued to watch zir paint zir nails.

Jamia had gone out to run an errand at the bank so Gerard and Frankie were alone until Ray came back from the store. He plopped a black bag onto the front desk. It made a loud thump. Then he got some plastic cups from their snack table. Frankie watched him, intrigued, then laughed when he revealed that he’d gone to the liquor store. Looks like they were pregaming.

“Bars are expensive,” he explained, pouring the drinks of whiskey.

Gerard declined his but Frankie went ahead and grabbed a cup. Pete and Mikey arrived shortly after. They got chairs from the back and made the main room a little seating area. Pete talked with Ray about tattoo ideas he had and Mikey eyed his brother suspiciously.

“Your nails are very pretty,” Gerard said to Frankie.

“Thanks,” said Frankie. Ze blew on zir nails, then raised a brow at Mikey. “What’s up, Mike?”

“Gerard hasn’t answered my texts in days,” Mikey said, frowning.

Gerard folded his arms. “You did the same thing to me a couple months ago, so…”

“I had shit going on.”

“Well, I have shit going on now.”

“Whoa, whoa whoa!” Frankie took it upon zirself to sit between the quarreling brothers. Well, sit on them. Ze wiggled back and forth until they scooted to make space for zir. “Can we be civil?” ze asked. “If you’re fighting when Jamia gets here, she’s kicking you both out.”

Frankie really had no idea what was going on between the brothers but ze’d never seen them fight so ze couldn’t imagine what the problem was. Gerard took his phone out, did a quick maneuver, and then gestured vaguely toward Mikey.

“Happy?” Gerard said. “I replied to your texts.”

Mikey stared at his phone, slumped a little in his seat, and furiously replied. Then Gerard did the same. They made annoyed sounds and angry faces and glanced at each other but didn’t speak.

“This works too,” Frankie said, looking between them. For a moment ze thought they had something to hide from zir but ze didn’t have much time to dwell on that.

“So I’m probably getting my next tattoo here,” Pete said to Frankie.

“Hell yeah you are!” Frankie replied. “I’d high five you but my nails are still drying.”

“Get the fuck over here and give me a careful hug.”

Guessing that the Ways wouldn't bite each other’s heads off, Frankie went over to Pete. Ze attempted to lean down and give Pete a hug, which was difficult at that angle and with the way ze held zir wrists back to protect zir newly polished nails. Eventually Pete just grabbed a loop in Frankie’s jeans and pulled zir down into his lap. Frankie let out a startled laugh and carefully hugged Pete while he squeezed zir waist.

Gerard looked up from his phone to see Pete and Frankie hugging like that and didn’t really love it. But it wasn’t like he had any right to get mad. He was busy lying to Mikey in angry texts about how he wasn’t on drugs again, and how he hadn’t lied to their mom about therapy. He was also defending himself against Mikey’s barrage of how unfair it all was that Frankie had no clue about any of it. Mikey hadn’t asked Gerard’s advice when he and Pete opened their relationship; instead, he ignored Gerard when their relationship was transitioning and rocky. He hadn’t even told Gerard that Pete was asexual until very recently. It wasn’t Gerard’s business but Mikey usually told him stuff like that. And Gerard wasn’t even angry. He was more indignant. If Mikey could keep his issues to himself because he was an adult now and didn’t need his big brother’s help, then Gerard could keep his issues to himself too.

He did almost get upset about Frankie sitting in Pete’s lap talking to Ray, though, until the door swung open and a very familiar and welcome person came in.

“Am I in the right place?” Bert asked, then opened his arms wide when he saw Gerard. “GEE BEAR!”

They practically ran into each other’s arms and hugged warmly, tightly, just like old friends. “Gee Bear?” Pete scoffed near Frankie’s ear. Frankie was at a loss but ze smiled when Gerard and Bert parted. Well, mostly parted. Gerard kept an arm around Bert as he walked around introducing Bert to everyone.

“Nice to meet you guys, finally!” Bert said, shaking everyone's hands with a lot of enthusiasm. “Especially you, Frankie, you’re as beautiful as Gerard says.”

“Thanks,” Frankie said unsurely, still managing to smile.

“So what do you all do around here?” Bert said, taking Frankie’s old seat on the couch. Gerard draped an arm around him.

They spend a short while waiting for Jamia and making casual conversation. Frankie couldn’t help but notice that Bert seemed a little wired, but Gerard was also off in his presence. It was like they fed off each other. And if Frankie hadn’t been in Pete’s lap, all the touching Gerard and Bert were doing would freak zir out too. Was ze imagining things? Were they touching just the right amount that any friends would? Mikey didn’t seem to be jealous seeing Frankie in Pete’s lap. Oh, wait, was Frankie jealous? Gross, ze needed to stop that.

Ze was trying to pay attention to the conversation but too deep in thought to do so when the front door slammed open. All conversation ended at once. Jamia burst through and stood between Ray and Frankie. She looked furious and her eyes were glazed over. Everyone else’s eyes were on her.

“We don’t have enough money to pay our rent,” Jamia said, looking between the other two Gents.

“What?” said Frankie. 

“Someone’s taking our money.”

“Who could be- Ray?”

“I swear to God I’m not,” Ray said, raising his hands. “I don’t even have access to the account yet.”

Frankie frowned. Ze looked up at Jamia, who was shaking her head. It didn’t completely click until Jamia said it out loud.

“Bob hasn’t been at work in weeks and even before that he was really standoffish…”

Everything else was white noise. Frankie got up from Pete’s lap. It felt like ze’d been punched in the chest. Ze stumbled to a wall, which ze stared at in confusion. Everything was off and zir eyes felt heavy. Ze couldn’t even understand what was going on anymore. Ze wasn’t even in the room until ze felt a hand on zir arm. It was Gerard. He looked pained, like he wanted to help but didn’t know how, and Frankie just stared at him. Ze didn’t know what to ask for, ze was so confused.

“Fuck,” Ray said. “He stole from us?”

“I closed the account, but it’s not a negligible amount that he took,” Jamia said. “I can’t pay you guys this week.”

When Gerard didn’t say or do anything, Frankie walked around him. Ze poured another cup of the whiskey for zirself. “So, I’m gonna get drunk?” ze said. “Like super drunk. Like I’m gonna forget what happened drunk, like I won’t have the energy to kill that fucker drunk.”

“Calm down, baby,” Gerard said softly, a hand on zir back.

Normally, Gerard would know to not tell Frankie to calm down but he was too high to act normally. Frankie turned to face him with the most shocked and disturbed expression on zir face. He’d definitely hit a nerve.

“Calm down?!” Frankie shouted. “We’ve worked for this for years, he’s been with us since the start, and he’s STEALING from us and you want me to CALM DOWN.”

The room was silent. Gerard took a slow step back and looked down at his shoes guiltily. Frankie downed zir drink then rubbed zir eyes. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to yell,” ze said, to no one in particular.

“It’s okay, I know you’re upset,” Gerard said. Also the wrong thing to say, but Frankie really didn’t want to take zir anger out on him.

Eventually, Mikey cleared his throat and said, “Drinks on me and Pete. It’s still happy hour, let’s go to that bar.”

“We don’t need your pity,” Jamia said, a lot more matter-of-fact than angry. Ray just stared at the table quietly.

“Consider it a late Christmas present,” Pete said.

“I’ll chip in!” Bert said inelegantly, making Gerard chuckle.

“Yeah, me too,” said Gerard. “Drinks on us.”

Frankie didn’t like charity but ze wanted to get wasted and this was not the time for a breakdown. Ze grabbed zir jacket from the couch and headed for the door.

“Let’s go,” ze said. Everyone silently agreed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Quick warning that the chapter before this one was kind of the calm before the storm. Story will have less than 30 chapters total.


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Update 2/2 for this week.

Frankie spent the better part of the next few weeks trying to keep zirself distracted. Bob had all but disappeared off the radar. No lawyer wanted to touch this, not that they could even afford it. There was no solid proof that Bob had been the one stealing but to Frankie and Jamia, it all became clear. Why Bob had stopped showing up to work, why their business was doing so poorly, why some regulars they were acquainted with had suddenly stopped contacting them. Bob was royally screwing them over and there didn’t seem to be anything that could be done about it.

Frankie’s hair was short again as cutting it was cathartic for zir and ze thought ze looked damn cute with a pixie cut. Ze was getting ready to go for a jog when ze found Gerard with his arm deep in his underwear drawer. Frankie folded zir arms.

“Going for a jog,” ze said, and Gerard jumped back. He pulled his arm out slowly and put his hands in his pockets. “You wanna come with?”

“It’s freezing out,” he said.

“It’s actually not that cold today.”

Frankie sat on the bed to put on zir sneakers. Jogging was another thing ze picked up to de-stress. Unfortunately, Gerard was so swamped with work that they almost didn’t spend time together. They were having sex almost every night again but it was as if they were less close now than during the brief period when they didn’t have sex at all. Maybe they could do this one non-sex thing together.

“I don’t jog,” Gerard said. He leaned against the wall.

“Well, we can just walk,” Frankie tried. Gerard was being standoffish, like he tended to be in the afternoons these days. “You haven’t left the house all weekend.”

“So? I have work to do.”

“Okay, what is with this attitude?”

“I just don’t wanna go out!”

Frankie stood up in front of Gerard and folded zir arms. “Are you okay?” ze said angrily.

Gerard actually wasn’t. He was furious, he thought, or some other extreme emotion. Bert’s supplier was being flaky, which meant Bert was being flaky, and Gerard just felt...lost. Like he’d just been told he couldn’t have his favorite meal again, just because the universe wouldn’t allow it. Just because it wanted to fuck with him today. Gerard wasn’t normally an angry guy, but he was LIVID. Or something! Something ugly and heavy that tightened the muscles in his stomach and sent little pinpricks across his skin. 

“Gerard?” Frankie said softly, with worry now.

He’d been staring at a spot over Frankie’s shoulder, deep in thought and in this scary confusedangry feeling. Frankie looked worried and Gerard hated that expression on zir face. Ever since they’d had the conversation about his depression, he’d seen that expression way too much. It made him feel so small. 

When Frankie reached for his cheek, Gerard turned his head away sharply. “I’m not a fragile flower,” he snapped. “Go for your jog.”

Frankie dropped zir hand and watched him disappear into the bathroom. Ze took a few deep breaths and left for zir jog, cooking up an idea.

*

“You’re just gonna go surprise him at work?” Jamia asks that next Thursday at the shop.

They were reorganizing the paints in Jamia’s room, and Frankie had told Jamia zir idea to bring Gerard dinner. “He’s so overworked lately, you know?” Frankie said. “Maybe taking a little break to unwind with me will help. Spontaneity, that’s what our relationship needs. Like when we fucked Adam.”

Jamia scoffed. She handed Frankie a bottle. “I still can’t believe you guys fucked Adam.”

Frankie grinned. “Adam fucks everyone.”

“Yeah, but Gerard is so square.”

Frankie tried not to laugh but couldn’t help it once ze saw Jamia’s goofy expression. Ze was organizing Jamia’s paints by color instead of the haphazard way they usually took up space in her cupboard. Frankie was tiptoeing to get everything up where it needed to be, while Jamia organized what she needed for her next client. Frankie didn’t have a next client, which was why ze was heading to Gerard’s office. But ze had some time to kill before ze absolutely had to leave so ze was complaining to Jamia.

“You know, Gerard and I didn’t have sex for months?” Frankie said. “And now that we’re having sex again, he’s...high fucking strung? Like, he either really loves me or really doesn’t and I liked him better when he was lowkey.”

“Surprising him at work might not be the best idea to fix that, though,” Jamia said.

“He shows up here all the time. Why not?”

Frankie found out “why not” right away. Ze ordered their food from their favorite sushi place, ze took the subway uptown to Gerard’s office building, and ze took the elevator upstairs. Ze was excited, and a little nervous. Ze had never been to Gerard’s office, or in any real office in zir life, and ze wanted to make a decent impression on the people Gerard spent every day with. Ze also was just super excited and hopeful that zir plan of surprising him went over well. Ze hated how stressed he’d been lately, and how it seemed to be affecting their relationship.

Frankie waltzed into Gerard’s office. Bert wasn’t sitting at the front desk, and the place seemed pretty quiet. The woman at the front desk looked up expectantly, and confused, but gave Frankie a smile.

“How can I help you?” she asked.

“I’m here for Gerard,” Frankie said. “Tell him Frankie’s here.”

“I’m sorry, Gerard isn’t here.”

“Oh, when will he be back?”

And that was when the woman gave Frankie the news that would give zir a headache for the rest of the night. “He left early, just like he does every Thursday,” she said, in a “you should’ve known” tone of voice. And Frankie should’ve known. But instead, ze thought he was working late just like he did every Thursday. Because that’s what Gerard had told zir he was doing.

“Oh, it’s Thursday?” Frankie said. Ze laughed nervously. “I thought it was Wednesday. My bad. I’ll just go and give him a call, then.”

Frankie left and headed for the elevator. Ze got inside and stared at the door as it closed. Just like he does every Thursday. What did that even mean? He was working right now, he was supposed to be working right now. There was no way he could’ve lied to zir for so long about something like that. Why would he need to lie?

Frankie almost missed it when the elevator doors opened on the ground floor. Ze stepped out of the elevator and stared at the mirror wall across from zir. Ze wasn’t even seeing zirself. Ze wasn’t even feeling. Ze was 100% feeling, a hollow yet heavy thing in the center of zir chest, the way the world spun without a care for zir, a small rage that ze swore ze would keep in check for Gerard. Who was a liar. Who lied to zir face.

Still standing in the lobby, Frankie texted Gerard. ‘How’s work going?’

Frankie took a deep breath. Ze walked to the subway station, listening intently for the chime from zir phone. Ze didn’t get a response until ze walked through the train doors. It read, ‘Super busy! I’m glad we’re hard at work staying late for this. How’s the shop?’

Frankie stared at the words. Ze read them over and over. A drop splashed onto the screen and ze didn’t even care enough to wipe it away. Zir hands shook as ze held the rails, walking slowly to an empty seat. Then, to zir own dismay, ze started sobbing. Ze could feel the stares of the other passengers, ze could hear zirself sniffling and whining. Ze could feel the tears on zir shaking hands, relentless as they continued falling down zir cheeks no matter how much ze violently wiped at them. Ze was furious. Ze was heartbroken. Ze didn’t want to think it, but the thought was there: Gerard was cheating on zir.


	19. Chapter 19

Gerard never cheated on Frankie. He lied to zir about his Thursdays and his job; he misgendered zir in his head on occasion, if the rare one, and hated himself for it; he even forgot to change the toilet paper roll every single time. But he would never, ever cheat on zir.

“You bring this up every other week,” Bert said, passing Gerard a blunt. “I get it, I’m your bud buddy not your fuck buddy. Keep reminding me of something that bums me out, see how well that goes.”

Gerard took a slow, steady hit. It was probably not the best idea to mix opiates with weed but they’d only had one pill each so why not experiment? Bert was rationing his last few pills and if this is how they had to do it, this is how they’d do it.

Gerard stared at the burning end of the blunt and passed it back when he realized he was thoroughly uninterested in finishing it. He wanted pills, not weed. “Almost done,” he said.

“That’s the last of my weed too, bro,” Bert said. He finished the blunt quickly. “You’re so lucky I like you that I’d spend it on you.”

Bert’s apartment was pitch black. Then it was red. Then it was blue then green then yellow. He had Christmas lights on the walls and they were blinking slowly between the colors. Red blue green yellow bounced off Gerard’s skin. It was otherwise relatively dark and Gerard was so out of it that the shapes of gray furniture danced and made him dizzy. He lied down on the carpet, where they’d been sitting and smoking. Bert lied down with him. They stared at the gray ceiling.

“You can keep flirting with me, it’s not gonna happen,” Gerard said, voice a little slurred. “And because it isn’t and it hasn’t, I shouldn’t feel guilty, right?”

Gerard had been going down a list of reasons why it was totally okay that he didn’t end up telling his manager that he was no longer in therapy. This list, when it was being honest, turned into a list of reasons that it was okay for Gerard to continue his stoned afternoons with Bert. Which turned sharply into dissecting the level of his guilt. The only person that really needed to know was Frankie and he hadn’t told zir. If this was totally okay, why hadn’t he told zir?

“If I were dating you,” Bert said, “and I knew you were spending hours with some dude that was blatantly attracted to you and I knew he did this…”

Bert rubbed Gerard’s arm, which made Gerard hum and close his eyes. Touches like this were totally fair game, Gerard insisted. He was gonna jump on that argument next. Friends touch like this. Frankie touched Jamia like this all the time. It was okay.

“I'm not sure that I'd be okay with it,” Bert concluded. Gerard sighed.

His voice sounded closer and Gerard opened his eyes a smidge to see why. There Bert was, leaning over him, maybe too close, staring at his lips. Gerard stared at Bert’s lips in turn. Gerard always tried to rationalize that he loved these afternoons with Bert because of the drugs, or because it was nice to have a close friend that he didn’t share with Frankie. But maybe he liked the attention too. Maybe he liked the way Bert looked at him, the way he spoke to him. Maybe he liked being wanted by someone other than Frankie. Maybe that made him an awful boyfriend.

As stoned as he was, Gerard remembered to turn his head away when Bert tried to close the space between them. Gerard was also too stoned to know what to do next. He felt Bert’s lips press against his jaw and he held his breath. That little gesture excited him way too much. He closed his eyes.

“You might not flirt with me or touch me much or let me kiss you,” Bert whispered, “but this clearly isn't innocent.”

Bert moved onto his back again. Gerard stared at the gray ceiling, red and fiery then blue and calm and cool. He took a deep breath. He fought the urge to touch his jaw where Bert had kissed him. The space buzzed. It was the drugs. It didn’t make him incredibly happy that Bert had kissed him. He was just high.

“I don’t like you,” Gerard said, mostly to himself. “Like that.”

“I know,” said Bert. “You like my drugs. You’re loyal to your partner. Whatever.”

Gerard was ready to respond when his phone buzzed. He got it out of his pocket and smiled when he looked at it. He got a text from Frankie. He missed zir. He wished he could be with zir right now, that he was lying fucked out of his mind next to zir, that ze knew everything and was okay with it and he could stop questioning whether or not he should be feeling guilty.

‘How’s work going?’ Frankie’s text read.

Bert rubbed his nose and forehead on Gerard’s arm like a cat needing a petting, needing his attention. Gerard wondered about Bert. They didn’t know much about each other except that they had similar taste in music and a fondness for drugs. Gerard wondered what Bert was escaping or replacing with drugs, or if Bert was using Gerard for that instead. It was kind of cute the way Bert rubbed his head on Gerard and he definitely didn’t mind the gentle, if odd, touch.

Bert noticed Gerard staring and smiled at him. He snuggled closer and looked up at the phone screen. He somehow reached up and snuck his hands under Gerard’s to type, ‘Super busy! I’m glad we’re hard at work staying late for this. How’s the shop?’

Bert looked at him with his eyebrows raised. Gerard shrugged. “Sure,” he said. Their arms were intertwined and their lips were really close. Gerard could kiss him then, or Bert could kiss Gerard. He expected there to be sexual tension or something, that his misplaced guilt was very much valid and he was doing something wrong here. But he didn’t want to kiss Bert, and he didn’t want Bert to kiss him. There was no tension between them, just a soft, warm promise. Just a friend that he could be his ridiculous, stoner self around. That was enough to make something feel amazing and exciting. Gerard closed his eyes, letting the comfortable feeling wash over him.

Bert sent the message, Gerard guessed, and set his phone aside, reaching over Gerard to lay it on the floor. Gerard moved with a practiced ease, turning so that Bert was against his back. And Bert draped an arm over Gerard, around him, and held him close and warm. Frankie wouldn’t reply to the text and Gerard wouldn’t think anything of it. He just watched the lights and talked to Bert until it was time for him to go.


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shout out to long time reader Laura. Thanks for sticking around!
> 
> <3

Frankie ran away from fights because the alternative was getting into fights. Ze’d gotten into zir fair share of fisticuffs in zir day, and zir instinct was always to throw a punch or verbally destroy someone. This is why ze walked away. Not because ze wanted to add insult to injury. Ze wanted to stop injury altogether. Ze was not cold-hearted, ze was practical. This was zir reasoning behind packing a suitcase with maybe a week’s worth of stuff before even confronting Gerard. Ze was ready to burst, waiting for Gerard to get home. Ze should’ve left before he even got home. But ze wanted to see the look on his face when he realized he’d been caught.

Frankie was watching a rerun of some sitcom when Gerard walked through the door. Ze spoke before he got the chance.

“How was your day?” ze asked. 

Gerard paused as he locked the door, startled by zir sudden question. He had a bag with him, where he held all his sketches, and walked over to the dining table to put it down. There was a tiny smile on his face, like he was in a good mood that couldn’t be thwarted easily. “It was good. How was yours?”

“Nah, we talk about the shop too much.” Frankie got up from the couch and stood in front of him. “Tell me about a day in the life as an executive producer for the Cartoon Network.”

“That’s an unofficial title.” Gerard kicked his shoes off. He reached for zir hands to kiss them, like he did every evening when he got him. Ze pulled zir hands away quickly, and his eyebrows furrowed when ze did.

“What were you doing when I texted you earlier?” ze asked, before he could dwell on zir rejection.

“Oh? Uh, casting. Talking casting calls. Um, we’re narrowing down-”

“And after that?” ze interrupted. Ze wondered how many fake excuses he could come up with.

He looked confused. He was headed to the bedroom to strip down to something more comfortable, surely. Ze trailed after him, arms folded and curious expression quickly turning into that of an angry, brooding partner just begging him to say something incriminating.

“We worked on that the rest of the evening,” he said.

“What about before?” ze said slowly.

Gerard looked suspicious as he unbuttoned. “Well, we spent a lot of time on-”

Frankie sensed the bullshit and reigned in the conversation again with another question. At this point, Gerard was in the middle of the bedroom with his pants halfway down his legs. “What time did you leave the office?” Frankie tried. Ze spoke up again when he looked toward his wrist. “Without looking at your watch!”

“I-I don’t know, I didn’t-” Gerard stumbled over his words.

Frankie went on. It was a stream of consciousness now. Zir suspicions had had time to fester, and ze was furious. “Everyone looks at the time when they leave work,” ze said, slightly accusatory tone.

“Why are you interrogating me?”

“Why do you think?”

“Is something wrong?”

“Is there?!”

Gerard stumbled over something and fell on the bed to finish taking his pants off. “Why are you-” he said, then looked down at what he'd tripped on. “Is that a suitcase?”

“It’s fucking packed, too,” Frankie said. Ze picked it up and held it for a moment. Then ze put it down next to zirself.

“Why?” Gerard said unsurely.

“Because I’m leaving,” Frankie said.

When Gerard didn’t react, just continued to stare in confusion, ze scoffed and dragged the suitcase to the living room. Ze heard his steps come after zir.

“What?” he said. “Where? Why?”

“Because you just lied to my FACE, ASSHOLE.”

Frankie threw the suitcase toward the front door. Ze picked up zir jacket, had zir keys in zir pocket already. Ze was ready to bolt. A part of zir still hoped that ze was wrong, that ze was being entirely unreasonable. But Gerard’s confused expression turned into one of fear and worry. Ze wasn’t wrong. Gerard had just lied.

But Gerard had no idea what Frankie knew. So he tried to keep acting blase, tried to keep treating whatever this fight was gonna be as just a misunderstanding. He hoped that’s all it was. “What are you talking about?” he asked, voice soft and as unaccusatory as he could manage.

“When I texted you, you weren’t ‘hard at work’ in the office,” Frankie said, air quotes. Gerard deflated. “You know how I know? Because I texted you from your office. You know what they told me?”

Gerard sighed, feeling this all heavy in his chest. “Frankie-”

“‘He left early, just like he does every Thursday.’ EVERY Thursday, Gerard. Every Thursday?”

“Baby, you d-”

Gerard reached for zir arms, just to touch them, just to hold zir, just to bring zir closer to remind zir that whatever little lie he’d told didn’t make him anything else than zir Gerard. But ze pushed his hands away, didn’t even let him finish his sentence, and looked at him with utter distaste.

“Don’t call me baby you complete asshole,” Frankie said, tears in zir eyes.

“It’s- It’s really not-” Gerard tried, he really tried. Because it probably wasn’t whatever ze thought, whatever he didn’t want to think ze thought, but ze was livid. There was no stopping zir when ze was livid. Not to mention that Gerard was so fucking gone, so worried about whatever Frankie was thinking that his chest was tight and he couldn’t get any more words out.

“Oh, are you having trouble breathing?” Frankie teased. “Are you gonna have a fucking panic attack?”

He was and ze knew it. “Fr-Frankie, please-” he said, feeling a little angry himself.

“You LIED TO MY FACE.” Frankie took steps closer to him as he drew back. “You’ve been lying to me for MONTHS, Gerard! I can’t believe- I c- I was c-crying on the t-train, just s-sobbing in front of d-dozens of p-people I can’t believe this.”

“It’s really not what you think.”

This was super fucked up and they were both feeling pretty awful. Gerard was failing to fight a panic attack, Frankie was allowing tears to fall freely down zir face. This was a nightmare, and not how Gerard hoped this conversation would go. He was so ready to tell zir. He was so ready to stop fucking around with this and just tell zir the truth, no matter what the outcome was. Just be open and honest with zir about his past and present and everything but Frankie, angry person that ze was, jumped to conclusions and even when he wanted to talk, even when he was sure that a simple explanation could at least put a pause on this argument, ze was two steps ahead.

“Were you with Bert?” ze asked, completely flooring Gerard.

“What?” he said, hand on his chest, still trying to figure out a response to what ze’d said a minute ago.

“Is that who you were _hard at work_ with?” Frankie put emphasis in places that made Gerard think, oh. Yeah, that’s definitely what ze thought. Of course ze thought that.

“Frankie, I’m not-”

“Were you with him when I texted you?”

He was. The answer to the question was simply, “...Yes, but,” only Frankie was already on the next thing the moment he answered. Ze pulled on zir jacket, made an angry noise, looked around for where ze’d thrown the suitcase, and repeated,

“I gotta go. I gotta go, I gotta go.”

“Frankie, you don’t understand-” Gerard tried, one last time, hand on zir arm.

What happened next shocked both of them. One moment he was staring at Frankie, the next at a wall. Frankie gasped before Gerard even felt the sting and put it all together. He looked up at zir, mouth agape, and ze was holding zir hand in a fist against zir chest. The hand ze’d used to slap him across the face. It’d happened so quickly that neither of them could really comprehend it. But it had, and they were both frozen for a moment. Gerard the liar, Frankie the hitter.

Frankie unfroze long enough to walk toward the front door. Ze was shaking all over. Gerard just stared, his own eyes overrunning with tears. This wasn’t them. This couldn’t be them right now.

“Fuck you,” Frankie said. Ze picked up zir suitcase, looking as determined as ze did devastated. “Go straight to fucking hell.”

Gerard just barely jumped when the door slammed shut. He sat on the couch and stared at the ground. He spent most of that fight out of it, still all fucked up from his hang with Bert. But that slap definitely pulled him out of whatever high he was in. He was feeling all the bad things of the high: overwhelmed, confused and lost, distraught and dehydrated. He stumbled to the kitchen for a glass of water. He took a few benadryl and passed out.

He spent most of the next morning in and out of a restless sleep, glancing at his phone until he figured out what he should do. After a long time of aching chest and hating himself, he texted Bert.

‘I need more,’ the text read.

Bert’s quick reply was, ‘Come over.’

Gerard waited a short while, wondering, then finally picked up his jacket and left.


	21. Chapter 21

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You might have noticed that this story now states 21/27. That's right, kiddos. We're coming in on the end here...
> 
> <3

Frankie hadn’t felt this miserable in a long time. Ze was a mess. Ze made it to Jamia’s apartment and cried all night, only falling into fretful sleep long after the sun was up. Jamia, loyal as she was, stayed up as late as she could with zir but went to bed at Frankie’s insistence. Ze was curled up on Jamia’s couch hugging a box of tissues, wearing sweats and a sweater ze belatedly realized belonged to Gerard but didn’t care to change out of. Thankfully the next morning was one of the few Fridays the Gents took off so Frankie could stay on the couch, sleep-deprived and crying, to watch cartoons all day.

Well, most of the day.

Jamia sat in a chair near Frankie’s head and fed zir a banana. They had cartoons playing, which remind Frankie of Gerard, but the volume was low so they could talk easily when they needed to. They did plenty of that. Mostly Jamia was there to make sure Frankie didn’t turn entirely catatonic and to talk shit about Gerard when given the cue. She was feeding Frankie because ze’d refused food all day. She was in the middle of another anti-Gerard rant when there were loud knocks on the door.

“I don’t wanna see anybody,” Frankie said.

“I’ll tell them to go away,” Jamia said. She put the banana near Frankie’s hand. Ze ignored it as Jamia walked over to the door.

“Frankie?” Gerard slurred from the other side of the door. “Frankie! Are you there?”

Frankie rolled onto zir back, not caring that the half banana fell onto the carpet along with the tissue box. Ze covered zir face with zir hands. “Oh god, and he’s drunk,” ze said.

Gerard knocked again when Jamia just stood there fuming. “Answer the door!” he said, then lowered his voice. “Please? God, I have to piss…”

“I’ll call the cops on you, asshole,” Jamia said. Frankie groaned and waved Jamia down. Too drastic!

“N-no, please! I need to use your bathroom. Just let me in for a second. Is Frankie there?”

Jamia looked at Frankie, who shrugged. She sighed and turned back to the door. “Ze doesn’t want to see you,” she said.

“I’m literally gonna pee myself,” Gerard replied, his words slow and voice deep to express the gravity of the situation.

Jamia groaned and unlocked the door, pulling it open to find Gerard lying down on her welcome mat. She gave him a light kick on the side and he looked up from where he’d been staring at the wall. His eyes and nose were red but the rest of his face was as pale as ever. Jamia would think he’d been crying if he didn’t just look sick.

It seemed to take Gerard a moment to process the fact that the door had been opened for him. When he had, he scrambled to his feet and stumbled into the apartment. He noticed Frankie right away and dragged his feet over to the couch. Frankie curled up and hugged zir legs. Gerard almost literally fell to his knees and was just feet away from zir.

Jamia locked the door and sighed before going over to play bodyguard. She sat next to Frankie. Then she raised her leg and shoved at Gerard’s chest with her socked foot until Gerard shimmied backward.

“Better,” Jamia said.

But Gerard only had eyes, and ears, for Frankie. He looked at zir like a man looking at something marvelous but sad, beautiful but melancholy. You could tell he wanted to touch zir by the way his arm twitched. Frankie didn’t even want to be in the same room as him.

“Let me explain,” Gerard said, his voice controlled.

“When you found out I kissed Jamia, you still dumped me after I ‘explained’ so what’s the point?” Frankie asked, blinking hard. Ze was ready to rant at him again.

“I didn’t kiss anybody!”

“Don’t you dare yell in my house,” Jamia warned. She totally had the strength to kick him out and everyone in the room knew it. He settled down.

“I made out with Jamia when we broke up over a year ago,” Frankie said brightly. “It was super hot.”

Jamia blushed. “Um…”

“You’re just saying that to upset me,” Gerard said, also blushing.

“Oh, you’re upset?” Frankie pouted.

“No. I don’t care.”

“Of course not. You spent months lying to me about being with him.” Zir voice cracked but ze didn’t care. “So that you could, what? Fuck him? Suck his dick? I’m so relieved you didn’t kiss him!”

“We didn’t kiss or fuck or anything,” Gerard said weakly. “I swear, Frankie, that’s not what I was hiding.”

“I can’t believe you!” Frankie shouted. Ze, of course, was allowed to yell in Jamia’s house. Especially when ze felt this much sadness that came out like rage. Especially when Gerard’s words gave zir a glimmer of hope after ze’d spent a whole day miserable. “You’re a liar! You lied to me and you did God knows what with that jerk who’s obviously into you in his dingy apartment and I-” Frankie took a deep breath. Zir voice got higher as ze fought back the urge to start crying again. “I have spent...the last 24 hours…imagining you with him. And I can’t look at you. I can’t even look at you! Because he’s looked at you and he’s touched you and...he’s…”

Frankie imagined Gerard and Bert going to Bert’s together after work. Ze imagined them acting casually but sneaking light touches and pleased smiles on the subway. Ze imagined them walking through Bert’s apartment door and taking off their jackets slowly, staring at each other. Maybe Bert gets them a drink which they share with the lights off on the couch. They flirt and play footsies and Bert puts his glass down when he’s finished his drink. He moves closer. Gerard gets the message, hesitates for a second. Maybe their eyes connect and it isn’t love, it’s barely even lust. It’s just two needy guys that know what they want and are just as willing to give as they are to take.

Then there’s a flash of skin and now they’re naked. On the couch? On the bed? On the dining room table? It’s all sweat and heat and desperation in a tangle of limbs. Maybe Gerard fucks Bert hard and whimpers his name. Maybe Bert sucks Gerard’s dick and says he loves the taste. Maybe they take turns riding each other while holding hands. Frankie had thought of it all and ze hated zirself for it.

Jamia rubbed Frankie’s back as ze sniffled against zir sleeve. She kicked her leg out again when Gerard tried to move closer.

“I’ll make him leave,” Jamia whispered. Evidently, Frankie was ignoring her too.

“And you came here drunk!” Frankie said, letting out a laugh. “Like, could you have chosen a worse way to apologize?

“I’m not drunk and I’m not apologizing,” Gerard replied. He was in a daze, totally out of it. He couldn’t imagine how Frankie felt, what ze must be thinking, and it hurt him everywhere that he’d done this. He couldn’t really control what he was saying but he had to say something. “I came here to tell you the truth.”

“What truth?” Frankie spat.

“I’m stoned. I’m not a cheater. I’m a drug addict.”

Gerard bowed his head but he kept his gaze upward. He probably deserved whatever looks they were gonna give. Jamia scoffed, not ready to believe what he’d said yet. She was still on team kick-him-out. Frankie, on the other hand, just stared at him blankly. He could tell zir that he’d killed a puppy once and ze’d be inclined to believe him at this point.

“What?” ze said softly.

“Bert has feelings for me,” Gerard said, really not sure where he was going with this. “And, you know, he flirts. We cuddle. He’s kissed me on the cheek. Sometimes we touch each other’s arms because it feels good when-”

“Will you be arriving at a point?!”

“It feels good when I’m high,” Gerard said quickly. “He’s a dealer. He likes me but I only hang out with him to have someone to get stoned with.”

“You were hiding smoking weed?” Jamia butt in. “We all know Frankie’s a former stoner. Ze wouldn’t have cared.”

There were Frankie’s hopes thwarted again. Not that zir hopes were much better than what ze was thinking ten minutes ago. A cheater who spent Thursday afternoons getting the nookie, or a loser who lit up behind zir back with a guy who wanted the nookie. Both alternatives sucked, but ze had no idea how much the latter did until Gerard weakly said,

“I’m on oxycodone.”

Jamia closed her eyes for a moment then murmured, “Jesus fucking Christ. Oxy?” She slumped and looked at Gerard in disbelief.

Gerard nodded. He stared at Frankie, whose expression and body posture hadn’t changed. Ze was still tense, still seemingly stuck in a trance, hugging zir knees and staring at a spot on the wall behind Gerard. Ze didn’t know what to do with zirself. Ze couldn’t even get a grip on what was real. Ze almost wished he’d cheated. That was he was just a bad guy and it was easier to be mad at him. Ze really didn’t know what to do with this.

“So you spent your afternoons cuddling with a flirt while stoned,” ze said. Just to clarify. Just to feel it on zir tongue.

Gerard nodded again. “Not at first. At first, I was going to therapy. Because of my depression, which you know about.”

“Oh!” Frankie clapped zir hands together, suddenly animated again. Gerard flinched. “Well, there’s one thing I know about you!”

“You know plenty about me-”

“NO I DON’T! There you go lying again! I don’t know who you are!”

Frankie jumped out of zir seat and shook zir arms. Ze made a low, humming noise as ze paced around. Things were starting to fall into place. How jittery and short-tempered Gerard had been acting; withdrawal. How spacey and happy he was the other times; fucking oxy. What else had ze noticed and written off? What other lies had Gerard told?

“Frankie…” Gerard tried, he really did, but he was tired and so was ze.

Now Frankie imagined Bert feeding Gerard a pill. Touching his tongue, his lip. Maybe Gerard sighs in relief. Maybe Bert rubs his arms and smiles knowingly. Maybe Gerard is blissful, stupid, out-of-his-mind apathetic. Bert is too, and he plays with Gerard’s hair because he can. He holds Gerard from behind as they lie together and imagines fucking him. Somewhere in the back of his mind, Gerard imagines it too.

“I can’t fucking do this,” Frankie said. “Not while this is all new, and not while you’re fucking stoned!”

Frankie pointed a shaky finger at Gerard, who finally gave in to his impulse and stared at his hands.

“I’m not letting you leave my apartment in your state,” Jamia said with finality. She got up and helped Gerard to his feet. He was heavy on her, having trouble keeping himself up on trembling legs. “You’re going to bed.”

“I really did have to pee,” Gerard admitted shyly, allowing himself to move on from the conversation like Frankie wanted. Like everyone wanted, really.

But Frankie just needed to know one thing. One thing that could make or break zir.

“Did you want to?” Frankie asked. Ze looked around the room for a moment before meeting Gerard’s eyes. “Sleep with him? Tell me the truth. Do you have feelings for him?”

Gerard didn’t know if Frankie would believe it though he knew it to be true so he said, with feeling and all the confidence in the world, his eyes locked on zirs: “I don’t. I never wanted that with him.”

Frankie didn’t betray any reaction. Ze just looked away and started pacing again. Jamia waited before helping Gerard to the bathroom.

“I don’t know if I can stay up on my own,” Gerard murmured to Jamia on the way.

“I’m not helping you take a piss,” she replied. “And if you get pee on anything but the toilet bowl, you’re licking it clean.”

Gerard nodded dutifully. “Fine,” he said. He didn’t expect to remember tonight very vividly anyway.

Five minutes later, Jamia came back to find Frankie sitting on the floor. Ze was eating the banana and watching the TV, which had stayed on throughout the whole… Was it an argument? A discussion? Confession, perhaps. At any rate, Jamia sat down next to zir and hugged zir waist.

“He went out like a light the second I tucked him in,” Jamia said. “He also pissed like a racehorse. I don’t know how people with penises do that.”

Frankie chuckled. “I don’t know him,” ze said. “I don’t know who he is.”

Jamia kissed zir cheek. “You do. You just didn’t know the worst parts of him. You almost never know that part of a person.”

Frankie hugged Jamia back. Ze thought about Bert fucking Gerard, about Bob fucking up zir business, and suddenly felt everything heavy on zir shoulders and zir chest.

“I wanna sleep,” ze whispered.

“Good idea,” Jamia whispered back. “I’ll go get the air mattress. I don’t care if it wakes you, Gerard!”

She yells the last part, which makes Frankie smile. At least ze’ll always have Jamia.


	22. Chapter 22

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guess who's seeing Death Spells tomorrow!
> 
> Anyway, enjoy <3

Gerard wasn’t home. He sat up slowly, looked around. He had no idea where he was. He was nauseous instantly, a feeling he was becoming too familiar with. His limbs were weak when he got to his feet. He stumbled over to the bedroom door and peaked his head out.

“I don’t know how he hid all that from me,” Frankie said.

Gerard’s ears perked up. Yesterday came rushing back. He was at Jamia’s. He’d fallen asleep at Jamia’s? He looked at his watch. The past 24 hours had been a blur. He got some pills from Bert, took them at a park, wandered around and around until his legs were useless. Until he realized that Frankie was probably at Jamia’s. And he could totally walk there. It took him an hour and it was miserable. He was still exhausted. On top of that, the pain from withdrawal was slowly crawling across his body. It knotted up tightly in his stomach.

“You’re right,” Frankie went on, seemingly speaking with no one. Was ze on the phone? “Thanks. I’ll see you soon.”

Gerard listened intently. There was silence for a time. Gerard rubbed down his legs, which hurt the most from overuse the day before. He probably deserved it all.

“I can stay,” Jamia said. Gerard’s ears perked up. “I’ll let Ray know.”

“No, it’s fine,” said Frankie. Gerard longed for zir. “You should be there to interview Gerard’s friend. We need a new Bob. I mean, I don’t know if I can trust Gerard’s recommendation anymore but we need somebody.”

Gerard leaned his head on the doorframe. Frankie trusted him so little that ze didn’t trust the recommendation he made for someone to replace Bob. That alone made Gerard heave. He covered his mouth and held his breath. This was so fucked up.

“Frankie, you shouldn’t be alone,” Jamia said, gently. Gerard wasn’t sure if he imagined the additional, “With _him_.”

“Mikey’s getting here soon,” Frankie said. Gerard rubbed his forehead. Is that who ze was on the phone with? “You should go to work.”

Gerard waited and listened. When he was sure Jamia had left, he went to the bathroom. He fell to his knees and spit up a whole lot of nothing into the toilet. The bile burned his throat and tasted awful in his mouth. His body trembled when he’d finished. He got up slowly and washed his face with shaky hands. He couldn’t look in the mirror and he spent too long drying his hands. Then he walked out into the living room.

Frankie was curled up on the couch drawing. Ze glanced up when Gerard walked in and sat a little straighter. Gerard stood a few feet away and shifted his weight from foot to foot.

“Jamia made French toast,” Frankie said. “There’s syrup in the fridge.”

“I’m not really hungry,” Gerard said. He sat at the other end of the couch. He fidgeted and looked at Frankie, who was pointedly looking at zir sketchbook. “So, um...Mikey’s coming?”

“Half hour,” ze murmured. “We can talk then.”

Ze said that with such finality that Gerard only grew more nervous. It felt like hundreds of hands were holding him, pressing into his skin, hard, and the fact that he wasn’t getting a pill right now felt just as disconcerting. He picked up the remote control and changed the channel from the news to some reality TV show rerun. He watched the poorly designed drama for all of two minutes before speaking up. Too much was happening inside him right now.

“I thought it was cheating,” he said. “I knew it was wrong.”

“I’m not upset about that,” Frankie said sharply.

Gerard shook his head. “You asked me last night-”

“I thought you were fucking him, not spooning him.” Frankie smacks zir book against zir thigh. “I don’t fucking care about that. Apparently, I had no fucking idea what was going on in your life! It’s taking me so much effort to believe that you didn’t fuck him and I hate feeling like…”

Frankie took a deep breath and looked up, finally. Gerard stared intently back at zir, waiting for whatever ze’d give him. But ze just sighed. “Please can we not talk until Mikey gets here,” ze said, zir voice in monotone.

Gerard nodded. Frankie calmly turned back to zir drawing. Gerard watched the TV. He was in too much pain to move. He didn’t even realize he’d been falling asleep, sitting up and facing the TV, just letting the ache take him under, until Frankie got up to answer the door. Gerard startled awake when the knock on the door was followed by a door slamming shut. Mikey had enveloped Frankie in a tight hug.

“Hey,” Frankie said.

“Hey, you,” Mikey whispered.

They pulled apart slowly. They came back into the living room and Frankie turned off the TV. Mikey pulled up a chair and sat right in front of Gerard, looking almost as brokenly sad as Frankie did. The two of them had obviously had a long talk about Gerard.

“Please don’t tell me this is an intervention,” Gerard said.

“Frankie just wants to talk to you,” Mikey said. “We both just wanna know what’s going on with you.”

Frankie nodded and folded zir arms. Ze sat a few feet away from him on the couch. “So you were depressed and coping by doing drugs and you’ve done this before?” Frankie said, right off the bat, without much warning and with zir expression as hard as zir cold tone of voice. Gerard nodded, blinking away tears as he looked at zir. Frankie sighed and visibly tried to relax. Ze unfolded zir arms and shook them then sort of slumped in zir seat a little.

“Don’t look at me like a guilty little puppy dog,” Frankie said. “I might be angry right now but I’m...worried too. I don't want you to feel ashamed of anything right now. I want to know anything and everything you are willing to tell me. I don’t want you to have to keep this to yourself any longer.”

Gerard looked at Mikey for help, and his brother just shrugged. “I told zir some things but I thought you should give zir the details,” Mikey said.

Gerard shifted in his seat, trying and failing to get comfortable, before speaking. “When I was a senior in high school, I got really depressed,” he said, staring at his lap. “There was no reason for it. It’s just something that runs in the family. But it was a really stressful time too, you know? I didn’t know what to do about it. I didn’t want to tell anyone. My best friend at the time got me high one night. And when I wanted more, she said I could get some from her brother.”

“Oxy?” Frankie asked.

Gerard looked at zir. “Yeah. So I started using. Until I lost my job and had no money. And when my mom caught me in withdrawal, just fucked up in bed with puke on me, she cleaned me up and took me to a clinic. Getting clean wasn’t that hard once I had someone to snap me out of it. Well, it was hard. But it wasn’t the hardest part.”

“What was the hardest part?” Mikey asked.

Gerard was just a little shocked to hear Mikey speak up but it did seem that he was pretty upset about the whole thing too. Gerard had never thought about how Mikey felt when Gerard was dealing with all this the first time around. It occurred to him that Mikey had tried to help weeks ago and Gerard was stubborn and secretive. Mikey wasn’t just here to support Frankie while ze tried to get answers; he was trying to get some for himself as well. Gerard had screwed up so much.

“Hey…” Mikey said, reaching over and rubbing Gerard’s knee. Gerard wiped his eyes.

“Getting better emotionally,” Gerard said, wanting to fly right by his emotional thought bomb. He looked at Frankie, whose face was emotionless though tears filled zir eyes. Everything came spewing out of Gerard when he saw Frankie so hurt that ze seemed stuck in zir head. “Every therapist rubbed me the wrong way,” he went on. “I’d see one for two weeks and quit. Then my mom would drag me to another. It took months for me to find the right guy, and I saw him twice a week for the better part of a year. It’s why I took a year off before going to school. Then I started seeing him just once a month. I didn’t wanna be medicated. But talking to him just, I don’t know...snapped something into place.

“That’s who I was seeing, by the way,” Gerard explained to Frankie. “Most of the past few Thursdays.”

Frankie nodded. Well, that was better than blankly staring.

Mikey kept asking Gerard questions, and he slowly answered. He started getting depressed again before Frankie moved in. It was the stress from almost losing his apartment and having a shitty job, and the fact that it was all stressing him out. He went to therapy when his mother noticed he was depressed again and decided to take him to his old therapist. But then Gerard became closer with Bert, who was there for him in other ways, and going to Bert’s after work and doing drugs was easier than hightailing it to Jersey every week. Frankie didn’t like that part. Ze visibly tensed up and failed to hide it by shifting.

“How often have you been getting high?” Frankie asked, reigning in the conversation again.

“A couple times a week at first,” Gerard admitted. “Then, basically every day.”

“Were you ever high when we had sex?”

Mikey made an uncomfortable expression as he gazed at his older brother. “Not technically?” Gerard said, blushing. “I mean, I definitely got high before we had sex but...it usually mostly wore off by then.”

“Define mostly,” Frankie said. Ze narrowed zir eyes.

“Like, I didn’t feel high at all. I was definitely coherent. But I also still had that lingering mood uplift. I never wanted to be fucked up when we fucked. Not without you knowing.”

Frankie nodded. Ze crossed then uncrossed zir legs, then crossed them again the other way. “Why couldn’t you tell me?”

“I don’t know,” Gerard said, hating himself for it. “I don’t know.”

“When it happened in high school, I didn’t find out until he made the choice to defer his admission to SVA,” Mikey butt in.

“I was ashamed, I guess,” Gerard tried at explaining, remembering something his therapist had said. “I was scared. In high school, I lost friends even before I started doing drugs. I thought I was gonna lose you.”

“So you lied to me?” Frankie said, standing up. Mikey moved his chair, to make space for zir to leave if ze wanted. Gerard felt super small again. “And you went to Bert for help instead of me?”

“I didn’t want you to worry,” Gerard said meekly.

“It’s my job to worry!”

Frankie combed zir fingers through zir short hair and left the room. Gerard startled when Mikey got up from his seat. But Mikey was just moving to sit next to him and envelope him in a hug. And god, did Gerard need that. Mikey squeezed him and rubbed his back and whispered, “It’s okay, it’s okay,” and Gerard just let himself swim in the warmth and comfort.

“Ze hates me,” Gerard murmured.

“Ze doesn’t hate you,” Mikey whispered back, then pulled away and looked over Gerard’s shoulder. Gerard followed his gaze.

Frankie was back in the living room and zir face was wet. Ze needed to wet zir face because it was hot and zir eyes were teary and ze just needed something to give zir a start. Ze wished ze could hug Gerard and say it’d be okay but ze didn’t know. Ze was feeling way too much to isolate one positive thing to make Gerard feel better. Who was going to make zir feel better?

“Do you wanna get clean?” Frankie asked.

“Yeah,” Gerard said. He’d realized that after his miserable day yesterday. Aftering seeing Frankie like this. “I do, I wanna get clean.”

Frankie nodded stiffly. “I’m glad you were honest with me. I...think I need some time. To think. I can’t stop feeling like I don’t know you, or you don’t trust me.”

“You do.” Gerard started to get up, which was clearly difficult for him. “I do.”

But Frankie was already walking backward toward the bedroom. Ze couldn’t look at Gerard anymore so zir gaze was fixed on the floor. “You can stay as long as you want but I’m gonna need to be alone a bit so I’ll be in Jamia’s room.”

Ze went into the bedroom. Ze hugged a pillow. It smelled like Gerard. Ze pulled tissues from a tissue box and alternated between wiping zir eyes and making bad origami. The last few days had been shit frosting on top of the shit cake that had been the last few weeks. It was all too much for zir. Ze felt ready to break down, and was probably going to waste all of Jamia’s tissues crying into them.

It was a little while later when Mikey knocked on the door and poked his head in the room. “We’re leaving,” he said. He took tiny steps inside. Frankie hadn’t bothered to close the door.

“Thanks for letting me know,” Frankie said, trying and failing to smile.

“You okay?” 

Ze looked at the pile of tissues next to zir. “Please don’t tell Gerard I was lying here crying.”

Mikey smiled softly and nodded. “I won’t. Text me if you need anything.”

“I will.”

When he’d gone, Frankie lied down again. It still smelled like Gerard. Ze closed zir eyes and tried to imagine waking up in zir own apartment days ago next to him. Ze wondered if ze’d ever get to do that again.


	23. Chapter 23

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for missing an update last week! This story's almost over and...I think I'm subconsciously trying to draw it out haha. But I won't do that to you guys.
> 
> I really like this chapter so I hope it makes up for my absence last week.
> 
> <3

It was a week before they spoke again, another after that before they saw each other. Gerard spent the time at Mikey’s where he quit everything cold turkey and focused on an addiction he shared with Mikey: coffee. He drank a lot of coffee. He took some sick days to go through the worst of his withdrawal and really embrace the life of a miserable S.O.B., then focused on his work. He vowed to get back with Frankie in time for his show to premiere, but he kind of expected things to end before then. Mostly he watched movies as a third wheel with Mikey and Pete, and did Mikey’s chores to be a good guest. He also went to therapy. He only spoke to Bert once, and that was to tell him that he wasn’t sure if they could be friends anymore after what happened with Frankie. Bert didn’t question him and backed off.

Frankie spent a week with Jamia. After many long, emotional talks, ze decided to go home but only if Gerard wasn’t there. So ze texted him for the first time.

‘You home?’

‘At Mikey’s,’ he replied.

‘Okay. Plz warn if returning.’

‘Sure.’

Then, a little while later, ze texted him again despite zir better judgment. ‘How are you feeling?’

They texted each other very generic things at first. Then they started about work. Gerard told Frankie the excitement building around his show, the ads that were running, the response from viewers and critics. Frankie talked about how well his friend Lindsey fit in with the Gents, a chest piece ze had started working on for a breast cancer survivor, Ray recently piercing a D-list celebrity. Then one day, Gerard just said it.

‘I’ve been clean since we last saw each other,’ he said.

Frankie called him, said ze was proud, and they went about their conversation as normal. It ended with, “Meet me a Sleepy Cafe tomorrow at 6?”

Gerard was nervous as hell. He stood around awkwardly for a little while until the table where they first met was vacated. Then he sat down and waited. He was a little early. He had his sketchbook. He was so messed up lately that he’d forgotten how to just draw for fun. He doodled little characters and didn’t notice when Frankie showed up.

“Mind if I sit here?” ze asked.

Gerard looked up, a little startled. Frankie’s smile was soft and sweet but Gerard’s immediately lit up his face. He didn’t even care what was gonna happen here. He was so happy to see Frankie, he could die happy right now.

“I ordered your favorite,” Gerard said, pointing to the cup next to him with his pencil.

“Thanks,” ze whispered. Ze took the cup and drank. “Ah. Cold Sleepy coffee.”

Gerard couldn’t stop smiling at zir. His chest felt like it was shrinking, his hands started to shake, and he couldn’t stop smiling. Ze blushed when ze looked up and noticed. Gerard turned the page in his scrapbook and immediately started a sketch of zir.

“Are you drawing me?” Frankie said, leaning over.

“I guess so,” Gerard said.

Gerard drew and Frankie watched. They didn’t speak. They didn’t have to yet. The tension hung in the air between them, unsatisfied by their relative silence. Frankie got up a few times, to get more coffee and a snack and use the bathroom. Ze was infinitely happy to see Gerard too. But they couldn't just stay quiet here in this happy floating bubble. It was going to pop.

“Listen…” Frankie sighed.

“No, don’t talk with that tone of voice yet,” Gerard said right away.

“What?”

“Just wait. Please. Just give me a little while longer.”

“You can draw me without me being still.”

“That’s not what I meant.”

Frankie leaned back in zir seat. Gerard had started making a lot of mistakes and erasing them furiously. His hands were too tight and tense. When he snapped the point of the pencil, he stared at it and the angry splotch it left on the paper where the corner of Frankie’s lips should be.

“Gerard…” Frankie said, voice ever-so-gentle again.

Ze smiled when Gerard gave in and looked up. He looked so scared. He closed his sketchbook and put it aside, then folded his hands.

“Okay,” he said.

“Okay,” said Frankie. Ze sighed again. “Jamia and I sobered up the apartment as best we could. We also moved some furniture around, to change the energy. You obviously don't have to come back yet.”

“Changing the energy isn’t gonna help me,” Gerard murmured. He really didn’t wanna fight right now but it came naturally to him to tease Frankie when he was nervous. “I don’t believe in that.”

“No, but I do,” Frankie said. Gerard shrugged. Frankie raised zir eyebrows. “Is that okay?”

“Sure,” he decided.

Frankie nodded again and tensed up a little. “This is the part you might not like.”

Gerard sat up. He was prepared for this. He spent two weeks preparing for this and he could get through this moment in one piece. He'll fall apart later on Mikey’s living room floor but no one at Sleepy Cafe needed to see him die a little inside. This is the definition of being a grown up, he thought to himself. Saving your reactions to the moments your world is ending for the privacy of your own home.

“I don’t want you to hang out with Bert anymore,” Frankie said in one quick breath. “At least not alone. I don’t trust him and I really think it’s for the best.”

Gerard frowned. “What?”

Frankie rubbed zir face. “I don’t want to be the controlling partner, it’s about what’s best for you,” ze explained further. “And I think less contact with him is best for you, even if he is your one work friend. It's not about cheating. If you’re serious about staying clean, you can’t be around that guy.”

Gerard just kept staring in confusion. “Partner?” he whispered. “Y-you’re not breaking up with me, you’re not moving in with Jamia?”

“What? No!” Frankie let out a shocked laugh. Gerard just stared at zir, eyes tearful. “That’s what you thought this was?”

Gerard nodded a little and wiped his eyes. Frankie moved to his side of the table. Ze didn’t make any physical contact; ze wasn’t sure when ze’d be okay with that, how much and how. But ze just needed to be closer to him.

“Don’t get me wrong,” ze said. “We have shit to work on. But I love you. So much. And I want to be here for you. I have faith in you. I have faith in us.”

“I told myself I wasn’t gonna cry,” Gerard laugh-sobbed, rubbing his eyes hard. His shoulders shook.

Frankie hated not being able to comfort him. Ze watched him a moment and decided now was a good time to try. Ze rubbed his arm. It happened fluidly that he dropped his arms and zirs found their way around him. He hugged zir back, tightly, taking deep breaths. It didn’t last long because ze had to move away and just look at him again.

“I love you too,” he said. “I’m sorry I put you through this mess.”

“I forgive you,” Frankie said, zir voice firm and sincere. “Now, we need to finish cleansing our home so when you’re ready-”

“Now, can we go now?”

Frankie rolled zir eyes. God, ze missed him. “When you get your stuff from Mikey’s, we can head back to our apartment and get rid of anything you have.”

Gerard nodded. He stared at zir with longing but he sensed that ze didn’t want more than sitting with him for now. This was fine. There was no way they’d recover from this very quickly.

“I’m sorry for smacking you, by the way,” Frankie said, green fingernails hovering over Gerard’s cheek. “I got carried away.”

“Wow, it’s so okay,” Gerard said. He was ready to joke about it but Frankie shook zir head.

“No, it’s not okay. We can’t excuse stuff like that. Forgive me or don't but don't tell me it's okay.”

Gerard nodded dutifully, and smiled a little. “I forgive you if you forgive me.”

Frankie offered zir hand to shake. Gerard chuckled. Ze gave him a look and he dropped his pencil haphazardly so they could shake on it. Then Frankie laughed. They held hands for a lingering moment, then went back to their drawing and drink.


	24. Chapter 24

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There are 3 chapters left and they are all waiting in a doc for their time to be posted. My question for y'all is: would you rather me continue to update weekly, or would you like to get all 3 chapters next week? Please leave a comment and let me know which option you think sounds better!
> 
> <3

Breakfast was the only meal Frankie almost always had with Gerard. Ze was still spending a lot of time with Jamia, and Gerard was spending a lot of time with Mikey. But in the mornings, Gerard and Frankie belonged to each other. Only in the mornings. They were almost never in the same room except to eat breakfast and sleep. They hardly spoke except for Frankie to check up on Gerard, or to share news. They shared smiles but they hadn't kissed in weeks, barely touched. They weren’t ignoring each other, per se. But with Gerard feeling guilty and Frankie still unsure of how much ze trusted him, they were just naturally distant.

That is, until one Sunday they both had free. Frankie walked into the living room with a bowl of cereal while Gerard was watching cartoons. Ze sat down to watch, too. Ze wanted to spend more time with him, and he wanted to spend more time with zir. He’d been thinking about what they could do to spend more time together, to feel closer and more open to one another. They watched TV without speaking while Gerard thought and thought about his silly plan. He waited for Frankie to finish zir cereal and put zir bowl down then took a deep breath.

“I have an idea,” he said.

“What’s that?” Frankie asked.

“Let’s get naked.”

Frankie was, understandably, startled. “Uh…”

Gerard muted the TV and turned toward zir. “Just, be naked. No sex or anything,” he clarified. “Let’s just have a nude day. That way we can be vulnerable and see how we feel together.”

Frankie mulled the idea over in zir head, imagined what it’d be like. Ze was honestly surprised Gerard was taking initiative like this. He was in therapy again; maybe his therapist gave him the idea? Or maybe someone else did.

“That sounds like something I would suggest,” ze said. “Or...have you been talking to Jamia?”

“No. I came up with this one all by myself.”

“Okay. Naked Sunday?”

“Yeah.”

Frankie bit zir lip. Gerard pulled his shirt over his head, folded it carefully, and put it down on the chair. Frankie followed his example. Once they were naked, they settled down on the couch. Their arms touched. Gerard unmuted the TV.

For a few tense minutes, Frankie felt overexposed. Gerard was a little tense, and it was just cold enough outside that sitting naked on the couch seemed ridiculous. Not to mention the fact that ze had been so stressed lately that everything, including zir body image, was suffering. Ze managed to relax when Gerard laughed heartily at the TV, that goofy honk making zir smile. Ze leaned on him a little and he draped his arm around zir shoulders.

There was no part of him that ze hadn’t seen but ze looked down curiously anyway. It was so different seeing him like this, outside of any sexual context. They cuddled in their underwear, they changed in front of each other, they even showered together very rarely when they were bored. But there was an openness about this that they'd needed. Frankie smiled and watched Gerard’s belly jiggle when he laughed. Ze touched their thighs together and felt the difference between zir smooth skin and his lightly hairy thigh. There was still chipping nail polish on his toes from when ze painted them a while ago. He hadn’t taken it off.

Gerard noticed zir looking during the commercial break and now he was looking too. He traced zir tattoos with his eyes and imagined the ones he knew ze wanted to get on the clear spaces. He raked his eyes over the pale stretch marks on zir belly, which ze half-covered with zir arm self-consciously. He looked at zir nipples which were hard, zir collarbone which stuck out prominently and moved with zir breaths. He wanted to paint zir. Just trace zir lines with a paintbrush. He wondered how it would feel on zir skin.

Frankie looked at Gerard’s face, then down at zirself. The uncomfortable feeling came rushing back. It wasn’t because of Gerard, it was because ze just...was. Ze liked when Gerard looked at zir but this exercise was getting overwhelming. Ze didn’t want to exist in zir own body; why would Gerard want to watch it?

“I’m gonna go wash this bowl,” Frankie said, getting up. Ze walked quickly to the kitchen.

Gerard definitely noticed zir discomfort. He tried really hard not to panic. This was supposed to be a good thing, and for a moment there it did feel nice. Was he wrong about this? Was the effort to bring them closer with something new and different done in vain? He didn’t want his thoughts to spiral, but they were heading in that direction. Frankie smiled meekly when ze returned, after taking way longer to wash zir dishes than it should’ve taken zir. Afdal said that whatever effort he made could take time because their relationship was healing. But all this time it was taking was going to drive him nuts.

“You okay?” Gerard asked, trying not to sound as worried as he felt.

“Yeah,” Frank said, glancing at Gerard. He raised his eyebrows in question and ze sighed. “I thought the naked thing would be cute, and it is. But I’ve...been feeling really dysphoric lately. I’m having trouble.”

“We can stop.”

“I don’t want to.”

That was a good thing, right? If Frankie didn’t want to stop, that meant that something was working. That ze cared about them as much as Gerard did. They weren’t touching anymore but Gerard could totally fix this. He could make this better for zir.

“How about we...tell each other one thing we love about the other’s body,” Gerard said, pulling the idea out of nothing. “Favorite body part, if you will.”

Frankie smiled brightly. “I don’t know if I like this.”

This time, Gerard turned the TV off. “You go first,” he said.

Frankie stared at him a moment. Ze looked him up and down. Ze thought about painting his toenails, scraping zir own on his shins, biting his neck, feeling his chest flush against zirs. Ze stared at his tiny hopeful smile and thought of their first kiss, sweet and perfect.

“I like your lips,” ze decided.

Gerard winked and blew zir a kiss. Frankie rolled zir eyes but smiled anyway.

“Do you wanna say why?” he asked. He was clearly not fishing for a compliment, his voice sounding genuinely curious.

“When you kiss me, I feel safe,” ze said. “I feel like...there’s an invisible shield protecting me from the world that gets me through the day. And then you kiss me again and even if I don’t see you all day, I’m safe.”

Gerard’s smile brightened, and his eyes did along with it. He leaned close and kissed zir cheek, soft, sweet, full of love. There was no way Bert kissed him like that. If he did, Gerard would be gone. No one could possibly deny the feeling after a kiss like that. Frankie felt warm, and good, and whole.

“Mine sounds lame in comparison,” Gerard said as he sat back again.

“What’s yours?” ze asked.

“Your hands.”

Frankie smiled at zir hands and turned them over. “Yeah?”

Gerard nodded. He wanted to hold them but didn’t know if he could. Ze offered them to him after a few beats. He held them and rubbed the backs of them with his thumbs. Gerard loved Frankie’s body enough for the both of them but there was nothing like feeling zir hands on him, seeing zir work.

“They’re small and talented,” Gerard said. Frankie giggled. “And you always paint your nails even though you wear gloves at work all day. As much as you change your appearance day to day, your nails are always gonna be cute as hell.” Frankie made a quick turn around as he spoke, looking confident. “And I just love looking at your hands, holding them. Kissing them.”

He kissed both of zir hands. Twice. Then again. Frankie started laughing and pulled zir hands away. Ze rested them on his shoulders and leaned forward for a kiss on the lips. It was like drinking that first sip of water when you were dehydrated, having that first bite when you were starving. It was like stepping into a cool shower on a hot day, or walking outside and taking a deep breath after being sick. It was need, and it was want, and it was persistent and undying love, all in a small, lingering kiss. When they pulled away, their foreheads touched.

“Can we go cuddle and read together?” Frankie asked, voice soft.

Gerard beamed. Like they used to, he thought.

“Absolutely,” he said, and kissed zir again.

*

They were firmly holding hands a few days later in Afdal’s office. They were on the mend, but it was tough. Frankie wanted to tag along to one of Gerard’s therapy sessions so they went together that Thursday. Afdal smiled brightly when he noted their hands.

“I’m guessing this is Frankie?” Afdal said. Frankie nodded shyly. “Pleasure to meet you!”

“Good to meet you too,” Frankie said. Ze cleared zir throat. Ze averted zir eyes, sat up too straight. “I’m just going to be a fly on the wall for now, if that’s okay.”

“Alright.” Afdal turned to Gerard. “What's on your mind?”

“I can have sips of wine just fine,” Gerard said, spewing the first thing that came to mind. He sounded proud, and it hadn’t occurred to Frankie that drinking wine would be something he might struggle with. “We actually drank wine together naked this weekend.”

“Oh gosh, Gerard...” ze mumbled, blushing hard, then elbowed him. He laughed.

“We needed to relax and get comfortable with each other again so I suggested we get naked,” Gerard finished. Frankie’s face was on fire.

“I'm glad you two are working through what happened a few weeks ago,” Afdal noted. “I guess you won’t be joining our group for addiction again.”

Gerard looked at Frankie guiltily, like he did too often lately, but ze just smiled and rubbed his leg. “I'm super busy at work and...my friends are being very supportive,” Gerard insisted. Frankie nodded zir agreement. “My sponsor offered to take me out to dinner so I might just take that route.”

“Okay! I'm glad you have a game plan. Frankie?”

Frankie sat up a little straighter again. “Yeah, I’m gonna support him one hundred percent,” ze said dutifully.

“Good. He needs that. But are you okay? You seem a little tense.”

“I've never been to therapy before.”

“Is there anything you want to talk about?”

Frankie opened zir mouth, then closed it, then looked at Gerard for help. He shrugged, and said, “Go for it,” as if it were that easy. Frankie would’ve been intent on memorizing the patterns of the carpet on the floor, or reading the titles of the books on the shelf against the wall, or imagining a scene on the beach of the painting above Afdal’s head. Ze wondered if ze’d have to reach for the tissue box to zir left, or if Afdal’s stare would ever look anything less than welcoming. Anyway, it had been too quiet for too long and Frankie needed to say something.

“I don’t know,” ze said quietly. Ze cleared zir throat again. “I guess... This is hard for me. There was a brief time when everything was looking up and then all of a sudden a good friend is sabotaging my business and I'm realizing I'm not that good a boss and then my boyfriend is going through some shit and maybe I'm not a good partner either and I thought I was doing everything right but everything is all fucked up.”

Ze took a deep breath. Gerard draped an arm around zir and kissed zir temple. Ze relaxed a little and Afdal’s slightly furrowed brow encouraged zir to go on. “I’m building my business back up again while relearning to trust Gerard and sometimes I shut him out because it's all too much,” ze finished. Gerard gave zir a squeeze.

“Having a lot of things going wrong at the same time can't be easy,” Afdal said. “Each thing makes the next thing even harder to deal with.”

“Yeah,” Frankie said, relieved to have it put into words.

“It’s understandably difficult for someone romantically involved to have trouble with a situation like Gerard’s and no one will fault you for reacting the way you have.”

“I know. And Gerard has apologized a thousand times.” Ze held his hand between both of zirs, almost cocooning zirself in his arms. Zir gaze remained low. “And I’ve forgiven him a thousand times and it’s still…”

Gerard reached for the tissue box. Ze sighed gruffly when he wiped at zir cheeks.

“Didn’t want to cry, huh?” said Afdal, sounding like he already had Frankie figured out. Gerard probably talked about zir a lot.

“Things suck right now but they’re getting better,” ze said. “You don’t cry when they’re getting better.”

“That’s definitely not true,” Gerard said, tossing the tissue at the trash can. “And just because I’m having a hard time, doesn’t mean I can’t be there for you too. We were both alone with our things and that's not right. We don’t have to be martyrs and suffer alone.”

They smiled softly. Afdal stayed quiet for a few minutes while Gerard and Frankie held each other’s hands and stared at each other’s eyes.

“Sounds like you don’t need me to help with your relationship,” said Afdal. Frankie was so, so relieved to hear that.


	25. Chapter 25

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The votes are in and, by a landslide, once a week wins!
> 
> Updates will be on Wednesdays.
> 
> Enjoy<3

“I’m so excited about this gallery…” Frankie squeezed Gerard’s arm, which was hooked with zirs. He squeezed back.

“And I am nervous as hell,” Gerard said.

Normally Frankie would reprimand Gerard for his anxiety in the face of unveiling his good work. But considering he was basically one of the people running the gallery, Frankie figured ze could cut him some slack.

Gerard, Lindsey, and their other artist friends rented a brand new gallery space in Brooklyn, a small warehouse with pillars all over the place. They'd set up paintings, drawings, and photographs in different sections of the space. Gerard was nervous as hell because the gallery space was new so there was no telling what all the pretentious art snobs showing up tonight would think. There was also the fact that he'd largely helped plan the thing while he was stoned or suffering withdrawal, so he couldn’t be sure of his abilities.

But it was minutes to opening and Frankie was just looking around excitedly, liking the plain white walls and multicolored lights and the way the space felt large but the art made it feel smaller again. Everyone was dressed up, Frankie zirself in black jeans and a button-up. Gerard was wearing a suit without a tie and he totally looked sexy in it. There were snacks and drinks and it all seemed so classy yet the presence of all these weird artists also somehow made it all seem laid back.

“You guys did a great job,” Frankie said. Ze gave Gerard a kiss on the cheek.

“YEAH we did!” Lindsey called. She was walking back and forth making last minute tweaks, the sound of her boots echoing across the walls.

“It’s not just a gallery,” Gerard said, hugging Frankie’s waist. They were standing by a non-graphic painting of a girl cutting her own chest open. Frankie was staring at it intensely. “We’re raising money,” Gerard said, louder now, hoping to grab Frankie’s attention. “Jamia told me just how bad things were at Three Gents… Every artist is donating a portion of anything they sell to help you guys get through this rough patch.”

Gerard hid behind Frankie to avoid zir death glare. This was the part he was most nervous about; revealing that even when Gerard was being kind of a dick of a boyfriend, he was thinking of a way to help Frankie out. Frankie didn’t like help, though. Ze twisted out of Gerard’s arms and frowned at him.

“You know I hate this kind of charity thing,” Frankie said, then gasped and continued. “And you’re only telling me now because you know I can’t start a fight with all those people outside waiting to get in!”

“Everyone who buys a painting will get a $50 coupon to Three Gents,” Gerard said, and Frankie only looked more displeased. “Jamia agreed to it! I'm sorry for hiding it. But this way it isn’t charity. We’re getting you new customers.”

Frankie pouted and pouted. Ray was speaking with one of the artist’s by the door. Jamia, from the snack table, gave Frankie and Gerard a thumbs up. Lindsey counted down from five. Frankie rolled zir eyes, said, “Fine,” and went into Gerard’s arms again. Gerard sighed and kissed Frankie’s cheek.

The doors were opened. Pete, resident DJ, starting playing gentle tunes. It was finally warming up for spring and people walked in with jackets in hand, wearing cocktail dresses and nice button-ups. Ray gave out pamphlets by the door. The gallery goers were in their 20s and 30s, all mostly young artists themselves. Otherwise, they were friends or friends of friends. Frankie gave Gerard a quick kiss and they parted ways to do their little tours. While Frankie had no clue about raising money for Three Gents, ze knew about selling art and ze did zir duty well.

Ze kept thinking about this charity thing that was going on and didn’t love it. Ze tried to not be so defensive and instead be grateful to the young artists for helping out the Gents. Besides, the Gents were doing them a favor by helping out with the gallery. It was more of a business exchange. Yeah, Frankie was being paid to be a gallery hand. That logic really did help zir get comfortable with the idea of making money from tonight as ze sold pieces.

Gerard was a little behind, but that was okay. He was finally on a low dose of medication to treat his depression, after a long discussion with Frankie about it. He thought it made him dehydrated, and so took a lot of water breaks. He was standing by the water cooler they’d special ordered for the event when he saw an unexpected familiar face.

“Hey, Gee,” Bert said, hand on Gerard’s arm to get his attention.

“Bert? Hi!”

Gerard hugged him immediately; it was like an impulse. They held like old friends and smiled as they parted. They saw each other at work fleetingly and really never spoke. But Gerard had invited Bert to this event long ago so...why not?

“How are you? You good?” Bert asked.

“Yeah, I've been great,” said Gerard. He looked around for Frankie, because ze should know that Bert was here. When he found Frankie, ze just gave him a thumbs up. So he turned to Bert and started chatting away.

“It was nice of Bert to ask you if he can talk to Gerard before coming up to him,” Lindsey commented. She had taken a break from being point person for everything to hear Frankie complain about Bert.

“Yeah, I guess I appreciate it,” Frankie replied. Truthfully, ze was surprised by Bert’s text to zir minutes before. He was outside the gallery space and wanted to go in to see Gerard. 

“You guys still working through it?” Lindsey asked.

“You know, I think we’re okay. We just made it through a really hard time together and everything else doesn’t seem so drastic.”

Lindsey nodded her understanding. They turned their attention back to Bert and Gerard, who were laughing together now. Bert actually looked kind of nice, cleaned up and with his hair in a pony tail. He followed Gerard as he lead him to another art piece.

“So, I’d like your blessing too,” Lindsey said quickly.

Frankie scoffed. Of course. Lindsey ‘I'm gonna be the best Secretary ever’ Ballato never takes a break from a project. Why would she stop to listen to Frankie’s drama? She had her own agenda.

“Shoot,” Frankie said.

“I want to ask out Jamia.”

Frankie rubbed zir eye. There’s no way ze heard that right. “Excuse me?”

“I know it’s weird because she’s my boss and your ex,” Lindsey started, and Frankie waved zir hands in front of her face.

“Don’t do that,” Frankie said. “I don’t think you should ask out your new boss but I can’t control your actions, so…”

Lindsey smiled, apparently pleased by the answer, and nodded. “Cool.”

She turned away sharply, looking at her phone and walking with purpose. Frankie watched her and tried to imagine what a world where Jamia and Lindsey where dating would be like. Ze shuddered. Lindsey did remind zir to check zir phone, though. When ze did, ze found a text from Gerard.

‘Meet me at the baby photo.’

So Frankie went over to the photographs. There were some acquaintances on the way, some interesting art pieces, some artists to thank. Ze still had on the little laminated pass that named zir staff of the gallery, and even sold another painting on the way. And it seemed that Lindsey really was on route to becoming the best Secretary of all time: people recognized Frankie from the pamphlet and told zir they were excited to get their next tattoo at Three Gents. The night was going well.

It took Frankie a while to find the baby photograph but ze laughed when ze did. It was of a baby, probably a year old, on two chubby pairs of legs. She was at the beach, in a colorful one piece, sand between her little flexed toes. Behind her, a wave crashed. And her chubby arms were raised, fingers tensed and parted and raised to the sky, her mouth wide and head back. She looked like a creature climbing out of the water, angry, ready to wreak havoc, but she also looked like the Michelin man.

“I just sold this one,” Gerard said, scaring the shit out of Frankie as he slid over to zir side out of nowhere. He laughed when ze playfully smacked his chest. “I kind of love it.”

“It’s pretty great,” Frankie said, nodding.

There were stragglers nearby eyeing other photos but they were mostly alone. Gerard stood close to zir. They consciously tried to be physically closer lately; they wanted to make up for lost time with their anniversary coming up.

“Bert wasn’t sure if he should come,” Gerard said, rubbing Frankie’s back.

“I know,” Frankie said. Ze held Gerard’s hand when he draped it around zir waist. “He asked me if he could see you.”

“Whoa,” said Gerard.

And that was the end of that. Gerard knew Frankie still didn’t trust Bert but ze was trying to trust Gerard again. As far as he was concerned, the situation was handled beautifully.

“Lindsey wants to ask Jamia out,” Frankie blurted.

“Jamia wants to ask Ray out,” Gerard said excitedly, happy that he had some gossip to share as well.

“Jesus Christ.”

They laughed a little nervously. The last thing Three Gents needed was drama. Ze could worry about it at work tomorrow, though. Gerard had his arms both encircling zir, with his chin on zir shoulder. Frankie pat his cheek and rubbed his arm. Ze felt at home whenever Gerard was near. But the photograph had zir mind somewhere else.

“You said you wanted kids,” ze whispered. Gerard stayed quiet and ze turned to look in his eyes, see the uncertainty there.

“Doesn’t matter,” he said.

“What?”

“You don’t, so…”

This was the moment that Gerard realized he expected a future with Frankie, holding zir in the middle of this gallery. He wanted to be with zir forever, and the idea of a future without zir was scarier than a future without kids. It struck him hard how much he wanted to be with zir.

Frankie was experiencing something similar. Ze remembered how he was with Valentina and imagined a person that was part Gerard, part Frankie. That little person sounded like an awesome idea.

“I never said I don’t,” Frankie said. “I said I wasn’t sure.”

Gerard’s heart hammered. “Well?”

“We should start with a dog.”

“Don’t compare a dog to a human being!”

“You know what I mean!”

Frankie laughed and Gerard got in front of zir, hands on zir shoulders. He gave zir a serious look. Ze mirrored it jokingly.

“Are you serious?” Gerard asked. “About having kids, maybe, someday, eventually?”

Frankie bit zir lip and nodded. There was no turning back now. Gerard kissed zir passionately, relaxing and rubbing zir arms. Frankie kissed back, thinking hard, wondering whether ze should say what ze was thinking. When their lips parted, Frankie whispered, “I wanna do it all with you.”

Gerard smiled a little nervously and kissed zir again. “Come on, we’re probably needed,” he said, and took zir hand. They walked towards the entrance of the gallery and parted ways before they got too far.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 2 chapters left


	26. Chapter 26

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I thought this chapter posted and it didn't so my bad! I'll post the next and final chapter Friday.
> 
> I want to believe in happy endings.
> 
> <3

It was on their minds now. Marriage. Kids. The Future. _Their_ Future. If they had one.

Jamia used to tell Frankie to dump Gerard all the time but she’d let up on it in recent weeks. Maybe it was because she had less to be unhappy about with Three Gents finally getting back to normal. Maybe it was because Gerard and Frankie’s 2-year anniversary was coming up and she didn’t want to taint it. Either way, Frankie was deep in thought about Jamia’s feelings about it the morning of their anniversary. Ze also thought about everything that had happened, everything that was wrong and right, anything else that could go wrong or right. Ze thought about telling Gerard ze wanted to do everything with him and how they hadn’t spoken about what ze meant but they both knew. And maybe Gerard didn’t feel the same.

So he woke up to Frankie sitting up in bed and looking thoughtfully at the opposite wall. He yawned loudly and Frankie turned to smile at him. He kissed zir elbow then sat up, trailing kisses up zir arm. Frankie smiled brightly, loving the affection, and welcomed his sweet morning kiss on the lips.

“Happy anniversary,” Gerard said.

“Happy anniversary,” ze replied.

Gerard smiled and picked up his phone. He answered a text then set the phone aside and settled back in next to Frankie. Ze had a mischievous little smile on zir face.

“I got you something,” ze said, to which Gerard groaned.

“We said we weren’t buying each other presents!”

Frankie reached into zir bedside drawer and pulled out a boxed wrapped up in gold paper. Gerard pouted but accepted the gift. He carefully unwrapped it then opened the box. His pout erupted into a shocked, wide-eyed expression. Inside were some high quality, mildly expensive paint brushes that Gerard had been eyeing for months now.

“I noticed you’ve been painting more lately, so-” Frankie said, only to be interrupted by Gerard pulling zir down into a tight hug.

“Oh my god, but we’ve been struggling financially,” he murmured.

“I know a guy,” Frankie mumbled against his shoulder. Ze pat his back, proud of zirself for getting this reaction out of him.

“I didn’t get you anything.”

“Are you getting hard over this present?”

Gerard giggled and let Frankie pull away from the tight embrace. “Maybe.”

Well, Frankie definitely felt it on zir thigh. Ze smiled up at him and lied there against him as he studied the brushes. “I’m just glad I get to see you painting again,” ze said. “That the meds are helping and you’re...functioning.”

Gerard closed the box and set it down the floor, along with the crumpled up wrapping paper. He looked down at zir solemnly. “I’ll still have bad days,” he said.

“I know. We’ll get through them.”

“It’s not always gonna be easy.”

“I know. You’re my best friend. I’m here for the long haul.”

There was really nothing he could say right now to ruin the moment. Frankie had decided ze was in for the long haul when ze forgave him. Gerard kissed zir temple, thinking he might be the luckiest guy in the world and he needed to spend the rest of his life repaying zir for being amazing.

“Would you still want to marry me?” he asked suddenly. “I mean, hypothetically,” he clarified, when Frankie’s eyes widened.

“Yes,” ze said. Zir voice was soft. “I still love you.”

They stared at each other for a moment, both avoiding the elephant in the room.

“I’m gonna go shower,” Gerard said after a few beats.

He kissed zir again and jumped out of bed. Once Frankie heard the shower running, ze picked up zir phone and texted Jamia what just happened. It was a Friday afternoon they had off so she shouldn’t take long to reply. Every passing second was distressing to Frankie.

‘I don’t think he’s teasing you,’ Jamia replied after two whole minutes.

‘He clearly is?!’ Frankie replied. But if he was, that made him a jerk. And if he was a jerk, then maybe Frankie shouldn’t have forgiven him. Maybe ze should bolt like Jamia used to tell zir to. Maybe this wasn’t meant to be and ze was being idiotic sticking around.

Jamia’s quicker reply: ‘I know you’re spiraling. Calm down. Enjoy your anniversary.’

Frankie groaned and threw zir phone aside. Where the hell was the Jamia Frankie knew? She should be throwing a fit over Gerard’s behavior. But she was also right. Frankie took a deep breath and went to pick out what to wear.

Frankie hopped in the shower after Gerard made his way out, naked. He draped a towel around his waist when ze left and tip-toed over to the kitchen. He had his phone tucked in against his hip as he quickly packed a picnic basket with supplies he’d hidden around the kitchen. Frankie might do all the cooking, but Gerard did all the grocery shopping.

His phone rang and he picked it up immediately. “Yeah, hey. Almost done.”

“Hurry up,” Jamia said. Her voice was distant because she wasn’t the one on the phone.

“Forgive her, she’s excited,” Ray said.

“I’m SO excited.”

Gerard couldn’t help his smile. “I’ll be out in a minute.”

He finished the basket and went over to the front door. Ray and Jamia were standing on the other side of it. He opened the door, handed them the basket, and made to close it. Ray held it open, though, and grinned brightly at Gerard.

“I’m excited too,” Ray admitted.

“Just set it up, okay?” Gerard said. He looked behind him, nervous that Frankie would leave the bathroom at any second. “We’ll be up in fifteen.”

“I can’t believe you’re paying us to do this,” Jamia said. “I would’ve done it for free.”

“I’ll keep that in mind for next time. BYE.”

Gerard shut the door behind them and shuffled back to the bedroom. He got dressed as quickly as humanly possible. He was making the bed when Frankie came in. They kept sharing smiles while Frankie got dressed. Gerard sat down when he was done.

“So I’m thinking we go out for lunch, since it’s too late for breakfast,” he suggested.

“I know you have something planned,” Frankie said. Ze was applying makeup in front of the mirror. “You don’t have to pretend.”

Gerard smirked. He was definitely checking out Frankie’s ass, which looked amazing in the tight jeans ze was wearing. Ze definitely knew he was checking out zir ass and bent over a little more to give a good view. Gerard whistled. Frankie laughed. Once they were both good and ready, Gerard hooked Frankie’s arm in his. Frankie noted that he left his wallet.

“Where are we going?” Frankie asked.

“Up,” he said.

They left their apartment. They headed toward the stairs. Gerard started up the stairs instead of down. They were going to the roof? For...lunch? Frankie followed slowly, feeling skeptical but also kind of excited for whatever surprise he had planned. They got to the top of the stairs after three flights. Gerard stopped in front of the heavy roof door and gestured for Frankie to open it. Ze stepped forward and pushed the door open.

Ze laughed when ze saw the table set up a couple yards away, with a single rose in the center and two chairs, wine glasses, and plates. Holding a bottle of wine was Ray, standing just feet from the table and dressed in all black - button-up and shiny shoes included. Close by was Jamia, similarly dressed. Gerard took Frankie’s hand and led zir over to one of the seats. Jamia pulled the seat out for zir. Giggling, Frankie sat down.

It was just cool enough outside that the warm sun high in the sky was inviting. There were a few stray clouds, and in the distance were the bridges that led into Manhattan and the skyskrapers stood out over the southern part of the island. It was a beautiful sight. So was seeing Jamia and Ray all dressed up.

“I figured you’d love to have Ray and Jamia serving you,” Gerard said, sitting down. Ray poured their drinks.

“You’re not wrong,” ze said. Ze raised zir glass. “To us.”

“To us.”

Their wine glasses clanged and they sipped happily. Jamia disappeared for a moment and came back with a tray. On it there were two sandwiches, a spatula, and a knife.

“Would you like the peanut butter and jelly or the grilled cheese?” she asked.

“How did you get her to be so polite?” Frankie asked. Jamia responded by kicking zir chair. Ray laughed.

“You just lost your tip,” Gerard said to Jamia.

“Whatever, dude, pick one,” Jamia said, rolling her eyes.

Frankie was still smiling. Ze pointed at the grilled cheese. Jamia used the spatula to set the sandwiches on their plates, and the knife to cut them into fourths. Ray refilled their glasses and left the wine bottle on the table.

“We’ll be at the coffee shop down the street if you need us,” Ray said politely.

He bowed. Jamia bowed too, but only after some urging from Ray. They left the rooftop and Frankie fell into a fit of giggles. Gerard smiled proudly at zir. They drank and ate comfortably, commenting on the view and on the yumminess of the simple lunch. Simple, just like Frankie wanted, but with a funny twist. Gerard knew what ze liked. Frankie wouldn’t stop smiling.

“Well, that was a lovely lunch,” Frankie said once ze had taken zir last bite. “Thank you. Are we gonna go hang out with Ray and Jamia now?”

“In a minute,” he said. He wiped his mouth and hands with a napkin, flitting his gaze about nervously. “But I actually want to talk about something.”

“Okay…”

“I lied about not getting you a present, by the way.”

Franke smirked. “I was hoping that was the case.”

Gerard chuckled and rubbed his neck. Frankie really didn’t understand why he seemed so nervous. “I realized something,” he said, staring at Frankie’s plate. He took a deep breath. The rest was clearly practiced. “You didn’t want to date a drug addict. But you did. And you do. And when I fucked up, you had no obligation to stay with me and help me. But you did. And you’re here, sitting with me, happy with me. I wanna be that devoted to you. I wanna do whatever it takes to always be there for you.”

“I know you will,” said Frankie. Ze reached over and grabbed his hand. He finally met zir eyes. “And you have,” ze whispered sincerely. “You’ve helped the Gents so much. You’ve helped me so much.”

Gerard nodded and relaxed a little. “There was one thing that I hadn’t been willing to do, though. Which is why I asked you about it earlier.”

It took a moment for Frankie to understand. “The marriage thing? Gerard-”

“I didn’t want to get married because I was afraid,” Gerard said quickly. “I didn’t expect to ever love someone enough that the fear would go away. But I’m realizing that anything you want is what I want. And if there’s something that’ll make you happy to do, then I’d be honored to do it with you.”

Gerard kissed Frankie’s hand, and held onto it. Then he stood up. Frankie watched him unsurely, turning to face him when he stood in front of zir. Then he smiled, his face beet red, and slowly went down on one knee.

“What are you- d-doing, oh my god,” Frankie said, sitting up straighter.

“I can’t think of anything I wouldn’t do for you,” he said, reaching into his pocket. He took out a small, velvet box. Frankie thought ze might pass out, ze really couldn’t believe what was happening. “You’re my best friend,” Gerard went on. “I can’t imagine my life with anyone other than you. I love you. God, I love you so much.”

Gerard kissed zir hand for a lingering moment and Frankie felt zirself smile. He pushed the box open with his chin, still holding onto Frankie’s hand. The ring was a small gold band with a small, round jade. He finally asked, and even hearing it didn’t convince Frankie this was happening: “Will you marry me?”

Frankie nodded slowly, mouth open, eyes hot with the threat of tears. “Yes,” ze whispered. Then, realizing ze had a voice, ze shouted, “Yes! Yes, I’ll marry you! What? Oh my god….”

Frankie’s hand trembled as Gerard pushed the ring onto zir finger, smiling just as goofily as Frankie was. Once that was done, Frankie fell to zir knees in front of him and kissed him hard. They made out like this, on their knees, on the roof, the sun warm on their skin and cars honking on the street. They murmured I love yous between kisses. They tugged on each other’s shirts and held each other close but it wasn’t close enough.

“We need to have sex right now,” Frankie said.

“You know, I thought you’d say that,” Gerard said. He pulled a condom out of his pocket.

Frankie laughed. “You’re so prepared!”

They quickly and carefully set everything on the ground and fucked on the table. Then they cleared everything up and went to meet their friends. The rest of their anniversary was spent with their friends; it’s what Frankie wanted, to be around the people ze loved on the special day. But ze spent most of the day staring at zir fiance (what?!) and thinking, excitedly, about their future. Gerard did the same.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Final chapter Friday!


	27. Chapter 27

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The final chapter.
> 
> Thank you for following this story. Always believe in love.
> 
> <3

It was about half an hour before everyone was to show up. Gerard and Frankie were still very much fucking like rabbits; they hadn’t been able to resist each other since their engagement. They were setting up for the premiere of Gerard’s show when they just started making out on the couch, slipping their hands into curious places, moaning softly.

“We can’t…” Frankie said between kisses. “Not in front of her.”

Gerard pulled away and looked at the puppy. Bella was an English bulldog, a few months old. She was sitting just a foot away from the couch, looking up at her owners intently, waiting to be petted or fed.

“She’s just a baby,” Gerard said.

“Would you have sex in front of a baby?!”

Good point. Gerard climbed off of Frankie, who stood up and shimmied away from Bella. She looked between them unsurely but her eyes paused on Gerard when he picked up one of her favorite squeaky toys. He gave it a squeeze and Bella stood at attention, giving Frankie the opportunity to run to the bedroom. Gerard tossed the toy at her and it hit her nose but she was unphased. She just lied down with the toy and started biting the heck out of it, making it squeak and wheeze. Gerard waited a moment before going to join Frankie in the bedroom.

“I hope that trick never gets-” Gerard started, only stopping when he noticed that Frankie was naked and fingering zirself.

“Everyone is getting here soon,” Frankie said, voice raspy, in response to Gerard’s shocked expression. “No time to waste.”

“I kinda wanna watch you,” Gerard said, grinning. He folded his arms and leaned against the wall. “I mean, this is like super hot.”

“Geraaarrrrrd.”

He chuckled and stripped off his clothes on his way to bed. He lied beside Frankie and kissed zir, eager and sloppy. He pressed two fingers inside zir, adding to the stretch, and Frankie moaned long and hard against Gerard’s lips. They kept at it, fucking zir long and slow with their fingers, until ze was gasping for breath and couldn’t even really kiss Gerard back anymore.

“I’m already close,” ze moaned. “What the fuck?”

“You wanna slow down.”

“No! We have to shower after this!”

Gerard laughed. Of course. He kissed zir one last time before moving to kneel between between zir legs. He brushed kisses along zir chest as he blindly put a condom on. Ze sighed, happy but eager. Gerard moved into zir in one easy, swift movement. Frankie draped zir legs around his hips immediately, pulling him in, needing him closer. Ze laid zir arms above zir head. Gerard held zir hands, feeling the ring that was always on zir finger now.

“Love you,” he murmured as he worked into zir, slow at first, teasing the way he liked to.

“Love you, too,” ze breathed.

They squeezed each other’s hands and moved together. Soon Frankie was in charge and their rhythm sped up. Ze clung to his neck when he moved his hands down to hold zir thighs. He held zir tightly for leverage and fucked zir hard, the way ze liked it. Ze panted and whined, whispered little encouragements, squeezed around Gerard’s dick as ze came. Then ze just clung to him tiredly, kissing his neck. He came shortly after and fell on top of zir, all sweaty and hot and sated.

They usually cuddled, because cuddling is damn nice, but they really didn’t have the time. At least, not according to Frankie.

“Let’s go shower,” Frankie said.

“We just had sex,” Gerard whined.

“I was there. You rocked my world! We have guests over soon.”

Gerard sucked his teeth and Frankie laughed. He rolled off of zir and tossed the condom into the waste basket in the corner. Frankie was haphazardly picking up their clothes and laying them out on the bed. Then ze grabbed their towels and waved Gerard over. Apparently they were showering together to save time.

“No shower sex!” Frankie announced. Gerard groaned. “I don’t like it either, baby.”

They flirted in the shower but mostly just got clean. It turned out that Frankie was right about the no shower sex thing: the first knock on the door came seconds after ze finished putting on zir Converse sneakers. Frankie rushed to answer the door while Gerard took his medication. Ze took a deep breath before answering the door.

The first guest of the evening was Jamia, naturally. She was there to help them finish setting up. Tonight was a pretty big deal, a dual event: Engagement and Pilot Party. They would be celebrating Gerard and Frankie, and watching Gerard’s show. The dining table was set up with snacks, the living room was set up with extra chairs all facing the TV, and Ray had lended his huge wide-screen for the event. It was super legit.

“Yeah, okay, it is, but you don’t have to be so high strung about it,” Jamia said to Frankie.

“That’s what I keep saying,” said Gerard, sipping a sparkling cider. Non-alcoholic.

“You know what, Gerard?” Frankie said. Ze approached him, a frown on zir face, and squeezed his ass. “That’s what I think of your attitude.”

Gerard smiled and kissed zir. Frankie smiled back and winked.

Another knock. James and Debbie. They brought a present despite the invitations saying explicitly not to bring any. Then there was Mikey and Pete. Ray. Bert. Mrs. Way. Bella was getting really excited seeing so many people. She barked at each new person and wagged her tail furiously until she got pet by a new pair of hands. When Lindsey came in, she picked Bella up out right and cuddled her on the couch.

The final people to arrive were Frankie’s mom and Valentina. Gerard and Frankie debated inviting them for a long time but Frankie really just wanted to see zir sister, and they should probably have a child at a party for a new cartoon. Valentina immediately ran up to Frankie and hugged zir legs when she arrived. Anyone that noticed laughed.

“Sibling!” she said.

“Hey, sis,” said Frankie, patting her head awkwardly.

“I made sure she called you her sibling,” said Frankie’s mom. The shock of this moved Frankie to tears that were so sudden that ze really didn’t know what to do about them.

“Thank you,” Frankie said, smiling. When zir mom hugged zir, ze hugged back warmly.

“I’m so happy for you,” Frankie’s mom whispered. She dabbed at her eyes as she pulled away. “So where’s this puppy I’ve been hearing about?”

“PUPPY!” said Valentina.

“She’s right here!” Lindsey called. Valentina ran over to her.

Gerard gave Frankie a thumbs up. He left to give the moms a tour of the tiny apartment. Ray took this chance to pull Frankie aside.

“I asked Jamia out,” he said.

Frankie shook zir head. “I disapprove so hard.”

“She said yes.”

“Well, at least your babies are gonna be cute as hell.”

Not long later, it was nearly showtime. Everyone sat around the large TV with a drink or a snack. They were gonna save any toasts for the happy couple until after the show, when the party officially became only an engagement party. Gerard was sat in a chair with Frankie in his lap. He looked around at all these people in his life gathered around and chatting casually. He hugged Frankie and smiled, his expression thoughtful.

“Hey, what’s on your mind?” Frankie asked, poking his nose.

“I’m just happy,” he said. Frankie grinned.

“I’m happy you’re happy,” Frankie replied. They smiled and they kissed.


End file.
